Flatline during hard mode

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by fizzy89, Mar 26, 2019.

  1. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi 'fizzy.

    Yeah, frustrations happen during the noFap journey just like they do in all aspects of our lives. The key is to not let the frustrations and disappointments take hold because they'll just grow and threaten to take over our constructive, healthy thoughts and de-rail all of our positive thoughts and actions.

    paraphrasing another old guy:

    "... You can't always get what you want
    But if you try sometime you find
    You get what you need ..."

    With an honest, true effort on our noFAP journey's I believe we'll all get what we need: healing !

    one day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  2. fizzy89

    fizzy89 Fapstronaut

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  3. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi 'fizzy !

    Just checking in. You doing OK ?

    one day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  4. fizzy89

    fizzy89 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, thanks for the message!

    I am doing okay yes, but I don't know if I made any progress... The relationship is strained atm (because of other reasons) and I didn't see her for a few days now. Last time I saw her and we made out, I could feel how my dick went limp pretty quick... I am at 75 days now and still my libido is quite low... I do get morning wood but it's not really 100% more like 50%... I only get boners when I touch myself (not masturbating) but these also only last for a few seconds...

    I would give a lot to get random boners again like I used to!
     
  5. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    hi!

    Keep going. Healing can take time. As for low libido, read about flatline. Flatline can, and does, come and go all by themself. During flatline its easy to feel kind of "ehhhh" and not have a lot of libido, but trust me, that will pass !

    Don't forget WHY your are on your journey of healing. When we forget our goals and "why I am here", motivation can lag and resets and relapses often follow. What will you do to keep your goals always fresh in your mind ?

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  6. fizzy89

    fizzy89 Fapstronaut

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    Today I saw my gf again after a few days apart, I attempted sex but again nothing happened. I just can't get turned on for a few weeks now... this is really strange. I still think she has a sexy body, it can't be that but I just can't get turned on :( I also sort of want to have sex but obviously I pretty quickly feel that nothing much happens down there and the "ehhh" feeling comes in. I will then try for a few minutes to get a hard-on but to no avail. Afterwards I usually feel crap and worse than before :(
     
  7. fizzy89

    fizzy89 Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys quick update...

    So I was actually feeling very horny lately and last time I made out with my gf I could quite easily get a boner

    Unfortunately she was on her period and we didn’t have sex. But it was a great feeling!

    She is gone for a few weeks now and I miss her quite a lot. And I have my libido again. Quite strong in fact, so much so that I think of sex a lot during the day.

    However, I wonder if I have failed the PMO challenge though because I did cum this evening trying to sleep. I was lying on my stomach and rubbing my penis against the bed, fantasizing about me and my gf, until I came... Does this count as masturbation?

    I mean I wasn’t using my hands like a had always used in the past. I never even thought I would cum just by lying on my stomach.

    I am on day 82 now, so I don’t know how I should interpret this event ‍♂️

    I mean it wasn’t PMO anyway because I had orgasms before while having sex with my gf.

    Maybe you can share your thoughts?
     
  8. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi @fizzy89 !

    Its up to you to decide what you call this event and what you will do.

    Here are some of my thoughts.

    First, its good that you avoided P.

    But,

    Lying awake in bed, fantasizing and rubbing you against bedding that resulted in O in my opinion is MO. Yeah, you perhaps didn't use the technique of "using my hands like a had always used in the past" but you were awake, your rubbing actions sounded like they were a conscious decision, and you had an O resulting from "rubbing against the bed". Your statement "I never even thought I would cum just by lying on my stomach." sounds disingenuous and rings hollow. You weren't "just lying on your stomach", you were "lying on my stomach and rubbing my penis against the bed" What did you expect would happen (especially since you said your libido is quite strong now) ? Really now, you didn't just now discover that touching and rubbing results in excitation and eventually O, so skip the "I never even thought I would cum just by lying on my stomach."

    What to do about this event ?

    That is your decision about how this behavior aligns, or doesn't align with your goals and objectives for your journey. If your goal is noPMO, and P was not involved, then you stayed true to your goal. If your goal includes no solo M or no solo MO, well, I think you know the answer to that ! Whatever you decide is fine, as long as you aren't just kidding yourself and rationalizing behavior after the fact.

    One thing I will strongly suggest you do is read the postings in the link below. I think you'll find them informative.

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/is-prone-masturbation-dangerous.187320/

    I believe that given sufficient time and focused effort, noPMO results in healing. If healing is what you want, consider continuing to give noPMO a chance to work for you. And follow the advice in the above link !

    Go make some good decisions.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  9. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi @fizzy89 !

    Its up to you to decide what you call this event and what you will do.

    Here are some of my thoughts.

    First, its good that you avoided P.

    But,

    Lying awake in bed, fantasizing and rubbing you against bedding that resulted in O in my opinion is MO. Yeah, you perhaps didn't use the technique of "using my hands like a had always used in the past" but you were awake, your rubbing actions sounded like they were a conscious decision, and you had an O resulting from "rubbing against the bed". Your statement "I never even thought I would cum just by lying on my stomach." sounds disingenuous and rings hollow. You weren't "just lying on your stomach", you were "lying on my stomach and rubbing my penis against the bed" What did you expect would happen (especially since you said your libido is quite strong now) ? Really now, you didn't just now discover that touching and rubbing results in excitation and eventually O, so skip the "I never even thought I would cum just by lying on my stomach."

    What to do about this event ?

    That is your decision about how this behavior aligns, or doesn't align with your goals and objectives for your journey. If your goal is noPMO, and P was not involved, then you stayed true to your goal. If your goal includes no solo M or no solo MO, well, I think you know the answer to that ! Whatever you decide is fine, as long as you aren't just kidding yourself and rationalizing behavior after the fact.

    One thing I will strongly suggest you do is read the postings in the link below. I think you'll find them informative.

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/is-prone-masturbation-dangerous.187320/

    I believe that given sufficient time and focused effort, noPMO results in healing. If healing is what you want, consider continuing to give noPMO a chance to work for you. And follow the advice in the above link !

    Go make some good decisions.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  10. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

    1,008
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    Hi @fizzy89 !

    Its up to you to decide what you call this event and what you will do.

    Here are some of my thoughts.

    First, its good that you avoided P.

    But,

    Lying awake in bed, fantasizing and rubbing you against bedding that resulted in O in my opinion is MO. Yeah, you perhaps didn't use the technique of "using my hands like a had always used in the past" but you were awake, your rubbing actions sounded like they were a conscious decision, and you had an O resulting from "rubbing against the bed". Your statement "I never even thought I would cum just by lying on my stomach." sounds disingenuous and rings hollow. You weren't "just lying on your stomach", you were "lying on my stomach and rubbing my penis against the bed" What did you expect would happen (especially since you said your libido is quite strong now) ? Really now, you didn't just now discover that touching and rubbing results in excitation and eventually O, so skip the "I never even thought I would cum just by lying on my stomach."

    What to do about this event ?

    That is your decision about how this behavior aligns, or doesn't align with your goals and objectives for your journey. If your goal is noPMO, and P was not involved, then you stayed true to your goal. If your goal includes no solo M or no solo MO, well, I think you know the answer to that ! Whatever you decide is fine, as long as you aren't just kidding yourself and rationalizing behavior after the fact.

    One thing I will strongly suggest you do is read the postings in the link below. I think you'll find them informative.

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/is-prone-masturbation-dangerous.187320/

    I believe that given sufficient time and focused effort, noPMO results in healing. If healing is what you want, consider continuing to give noPMO a chance to work for you. And follow the advice in the above link !

    Go make some good decisions.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  11. fizzy89

    fizzy89 Fapstronaut

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    You are absolutely right!

    My goal of noPMO for 90 days I can and will still achieve.

    However, I failed in not masturbating as well. Nevertheless I will not do it again, I feel guilty this morning and this sucks hard. I only want to get pleased by women now for the rest of my life!

    Thanks for the link, luckily his was the first time ever in my life that I used prone masturbation and I will never do it again!
     
  12. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    Oral sex
     
  13. drkarim

    drkarim Fapstronaut

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  14. Daxos

    Daxos Fapstronaut

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    Fizzy,

    I don't want to disrespect you, but you are a classic case of someone who is not 100% fully educated in the NoFap sciences :).
    Recovery from porn addiction and porn adaptation takes way longer than just a few weeks or couple of months. Your brain cannot dissolve the years of strengthening the porn response pathways in just a few weeks. Many guys needs months. During these months, a lot of progress is made. Morning wood returns and gets better, PIED symptoms get less and you will get random erections at times, but for most of us, sex is still a hurdle that will only be healed at the end of our journey. Why? Because your brain has to re-learn how to have normal sex instead of wanking to images online. This takes time and a calming approach. Do not stress about it, or your brain will associate stress with sex and you will make things ever harder for yourself.

    You are in a flatline, from what I just read. I am in the same position. I am only on day 6 right now, but I feel no attraction to girls, even though I know I normally would, and I have zero desire for sex or wanking at all. But I know this WILL change. Previous streaks of mine have shown me that. The flatline can take months for some people (note, those are the heavy cases). For me, the seemed to go and come. I had flatlines ranging from 1 week to 1 month. And when you had the 1st flatline, didn't mean it will never happen again. For instance, I once reached day 84 with a streak. I could get around 80-90% hard from fantasizing while touching myself, but I really doubt whether I could've performed right then with a girl. Like I said, the brain needs to re-familiarize itself with a lower stimulus as sex opposed with the high stimulus of internet porn. This takes time, but you will get there
     
    Anonymous86, drkarim and bfdet like this.
  15. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi @Daxos !

    Good stuff in your posting. Healing of body, mind, and soul (spirit if you prefer...) does occur but yep, it does take time. It often seems that healing doesn't happen as fast or as dramatically as we may like. But it does happen, so patience and perseverance are absolutely required.

    One small thing to think about ...

    Perhaps a subtly different view on journeys:

    Healing bodies and minds takes time to un-learn the bad behaviors and re-learn how to be stimulated and excited by healthy interactions. As the noPMO journey continues, healing happens, and it continues to happen even when we experience what may be considered great progress of being "healed". the journey of healing doesn't really ever end, rather, it continues as long as we stay committed and follow the pathway.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed
     
    Daxos likes this.
  16. fizzy89

    fizzy89 Fapstronaut

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    Cheers guys, I appreciate your input!

    On a side note, I think I am out of flatline as I can think only about wanting to have sex lately. It feels really good and kind of "normal" again :)
     
  17. fizzy89

    fizzy89 Fapstronaut

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    Today I achieved my first 90 days without watching porn and resulting m and o! :)
    I had a few setbacks along the way (the most recent one only a week ago) but I am still proud to having achieved my goal of no p!
     
  18. drkarim

    drkarim Fapstronaut

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    Any spontsneous erections or increased lipido?
     
  19. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi @fizzy89 !

    Good job.

    What will you do now ? You've made a lot of good decisions during the last 90 days, including the one that started your journey. Keep making good decisions.

    one day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  20. fizzy89

    fizzy89 Fapstronaut

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    Yes! It is definitely improving. My gf is away for a few months and all I can think of lately is having sex with her, it feels really good :)
     
    drkarim likes this.

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