Greeting Strangers While Running [GSWR] - Challenge

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by Sir Minato, Jul 30, 2019.

  1. Sir Minato

    Sir Minato Fapstronaut

    Little(ok, not as little as I thought) background story:
    I had this conversation yesterday with an american friend of mine who lived in the UE and moved to the USA recently. He told me that he was on a bikeride, waving towards people, and they would wave and greet back and sometimes even smalltalk a bit and wish each other a good day. I was shocked. And deeply moved. I cried. If I think about it now, I cry again. I explained to him that I never experienced such a thing, and I was convinced, if I were to do the same, people would think I am a creep or something. Everyone is always for themselves. Sometimes elder people greet, but that's it.

    When someone used to pass me by, I'd always be unsure where to look. Looking in the eyes for a longer period is not nice, could be perceived as staring. Most people don't care anyway. This is weird. Then I just act like I am suddenly caring about the environment more and observe it (and I always observe the environment alot, but when people pass by, I force this kind of looking, it doesn't feel natural.). Or I just do the "confident" staring at front pretending to be a robot, lol. This is also how most people act that I perceive.

    After my friend told me that, I started reconsidering my behaviour. What if I am the one to make the change? What if I just had to try and be brave? I mean I don't have to wave at people. But what if I just wish them a good morning for example? I never had anyone wish me a good morning while on a run. Everyone is just so isolated nowadays. So what if I could make a difference? And also make different experiences like that? I was thrilled. In the moment I realised that I was acting like one of them - and that I might be the one breaking the ice, I knew I had to try it.
    So when I went for a jog today, after encountering the first person whom I smiled at, I remembered that I wanted to try out this experiment.

    First person I met was a grandma (let's call her Berta), looking at a sculpture. She had her back turned towards me, but I wished her a great morning anyways. She was suprised but greeted me back, and I was gone already. I was smiling though, I was very happy that I greeted her. It felt like the right thing to do.

    Second person I encountered was a grandpa walking towards me, I greeted him, smiled at him, he greeted back.

    Then I met Berta again, because we were both going around a cycle in opposite directions. She smiled at me wholeheartedly. I smiled, too. I said "Very nice weather at this time around." She said "yes indeed". I'm even smiling now, as I am typing this hahahha. It just makes me so happy. Suddenly seeing strangers as an opportunity for friendliness rather than a fight for acting normal.

    Then I walked past a woman around her fourties with her back turned towards me, I wished her a good morning, she seemed surprised, our eyes met for a second when I passed her and she said "good morning" back in a confident but suprised tone. :D

    Then there were these two younger girls jogging past me. Damn. I was getting shy. I tried making eye contact with them and smiling, but they ignored me. I didn't greet them.
    I regret that. Next time I am prepared. I will great girls like that, too! Because you know what? They are humans like everyone else I greeted. The thing that was different with the girls is the following: I had no fear greeting the grandma. But why when I had the opportunity to greet younger women? Haha! I found the mistake in my head! If I imagine the grandma not greeting back, I'd just think "well she is either unfriendly or has a bad day". But if I imagine the girls not greeting back I'd think it's because I am not attractive enough!!! WTF!! Like, seriously? I take their behaviour as a feedback of whether they are attracted to me or not, and more than that, I give them the power to decide whether I am attractive at all? Jesus! What's this! Are you insane kid! :D
    So, the plan is to apply what I were to think at grandmas rejection and insert it into the girls' situation: If they don't greet me back, they are probably unfriendly or have a bad day. It has nothing to do with me.

    Excursion:
    If you spin this thought even further, other kinds of rejection could be handled the same. If she doesn't want to go on a date with you, she is probably busy, is already into someone else, or you are just not her type. You can of course work on your looks and your fitness. But being rejected says nothing about you!! If you look in the mirror, YOU should like yourself. If you don't like it, cause you think your hair looks shit, try a new hairstyle. If you don't like having some extra fat, work on losing weight. But don't do this to be liked by everyone! Do it to be liked by yourself, and do it to be liked by the person that truely is a match for you! You increase the likeliness of her being caught by a good first impression, and that opens your chances to get to know each other. That's my thought on that.

    So I summon you, fellow NoFappers, who want to improve their social lives and bring more friendliness to this world:
    Let's start the Greeting Strangers While Running (GSWR) Challenge, let's keep track of our experiences we make, the feelings we have, the struggles we have. Everyone is invited. Use this thread to leave feedback on this challenge, tell us what you think about it, tell us about your experiences.

    Rules:
    Everyone sets up a counter and starts their first experience post with "Day 1:". General thoughts on this challenge can be posted freely.
    The counter is not consecutive, like the PMO tracker. If you go on a jog on Monday, that is Day 1. If the next time you go on a jog is Thursday, that is Day 2. We only count the days we run. If you run one day but don't feel like participating, you can write "Day 2: did not participate".
    This is not for building a consecutive streak, but it's rather for us to share our experiences and feelings we make and to encourage each other to try this out, too; And ultimately get confidence talking to people and to girls, too. There is no obligation when it comes to how long you want to participate and how frequently. It's up to you. :)

    Short Example Post:
    "Day 1:

    Went for a jog today in the morning and wanted to tried out the challenge since it seemed like a fun idea.
    Unfortunately I only met one person, it was a young guy, and I told him good morning and he smiled at me wishing me a good morning back. That was interesting, because he was looking very serious before that. Didn't expect him to smile.
    Definetly want to keep trying this.
    "
    So, with my introduction, this opening Post is my Day 1 experience. You don't have to mention every encounter you make. Just share what moved you, what felt important or interesting to you. Even if you don't describe single encounters but just say "people are greeting back and smiling back in general and it feels great", that is enough already.

    I'm excited what you think about it. But even if you don't take part, I will keep track of my running experiences here. :D So feel free to throw an eye in.

    Edit: why do this while jogging? Well you are of course allowed to try this with other activities. But if you do it while jogging you have some benefits:
    Firstly, if you are a jogger, that tells about you that you are someone who works to get better, someone that strives to grow which is generally perceived as a nice character trait thus people will automatically perceive you more positive.
    Secondly, it is a casual, non commited encounter. Nobody has to fear that you have weird intentions or anything. Cause you are not stopping to try and get something from them. The moment you greet them, you are already gone. I think this will make many people feel safer and they will see the encounter as a positive gesture rather than a weird approach. :D
    And maybe if I meet Berta next time on my run, I will actually stop and ask her how she is today? You know? It would not feel forced or anything because now we basically now each other. Isn't this great :D I'm so fu***** enthusiastic about this :D
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2019
  2. Halpherisdusfrey

    Halpherisdusfrey Fapstronaut

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    Good luck to your jogging and greeting strangers :D . You're doing great keep it up :)) I already had a treadmill at home so yeah :)))
     
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  3. Sir Minato

    Sir Minato Fapstronaut

    But mother nature is a much more inspiring place to make sports at! :D wouldn't that be something for you every now and then?
     
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  4. Halpherisdusfrey

    Halpherisdusfrey Fapstronaut

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    haha yeah, in my place not that much people go to the Youth Cutural building (which has space) in the morning lol :)))That place is 1km from my home. I run for exercise in the afternoon at home for 30 mins everyday :))
    And if you greet some girls and they ignored you, that's usual tho. If a boy runs past me and greet me like that, i was happily surprised but also confused lol "wtf really do you wanna have an affair w me nooooo wtf" yeah like that. So haha maybe you can be misunderstood as flirting to the girls. So idk but it's your choice to greet them or not :))
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2019
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  5. Hero:HOPE

    Hero:HOPE Fapstronaut

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    This is why you are my rival! You are great and you seem to catch up with me. You are making massive progress! Progress for your life and your happiness. What is this damn hell we enslaved ourselves? Porn can't make us this happy. Porn can't give us this connections and moments with other human beings. So why does Porn think it could be stronger?! I really am so glad and proud of you :) I smiled when I was reading this text. I also am glad to have someone that catches up on my progress. I will fight not against you! We are not enemys but seeing you making progress remembers me than I am still in this game! I won't let you win alone and just cheer you on from the crowd! I am your friend! Let's fight this together! With each breaking lock our addiction loses power and we gain our power back and fight even harder! You are my rival!


    I won't participate while running ^^ because I am already screaming at the voices in my head which ask me: Why are you doing this? Why don't you just stop? Do you really think you can still go on running like this? You are exhausted! Also I need every breath to go on running. I run on a football (Fußball) field.
     
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  6. Deadpool98

    Deadpool98 Fapstronaut

    I don't think my anxiety will make me greet strange people in the morning. But i do enjoy running with those small kids on the weekends, hope i see them soon!!
     
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  7. Sir Minato

    Sir Minato Fapstronaut

    You really got me with these words. Makes me happy to read them, and I smile while reading it, too :D I'm proud of you, too, that you decide to be the man you want to be, that you fight for what is real in life, that you fight to be greater than the temptation that porn offers to us. Thank you for being my comrade at this journey towards life :)
     
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  8. Sir Minato

    Sir Minato Fapstronaut

    You could also start small. Like, don't start with women at your age, but what about a grandma? If you greet one grandma in 5 runs of jog, that is already 100% more than what you did before. If you greet two grandmas, then it will be another 100% from the prior success. Your anxiety is something that you have to work on, you know? It came from you making bad experiences with humans and now you are afraid it will repeat. But you have to allow life to show you alternative reactions, a corretice experience. That will allow you to slowly heal your anxiety. But running with kids is also a big step already! It's nice you are looking forward to seeing them! Enjoy your runs with them!
     
  9. Deadpool98

    Deadpool98 Fapstronaut

    I have been seeing this old man jogging where i run everyday. I will try to speak to him if my anxiety doesn't kick in that day :)!
     
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  10. Sir Minato

    Sir Minato Fapstronaut

    You don't have to have a conversation, only saying "hi" or " Good day" would already make a big difference, too :D
    Good luck with that :)
     
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  11. Sir Minato

    Sir Minato Fapstronaut

    Day 2:
    Today was my second day of running while trying out this challenge. It was a bit more weird this time but it was okay. Maybe because it wasn't in the morning. I got at least 5 confused people who didn't even answer, but their mouths were open, lol. I got one reply with a fake smile by a woman, a couple replies from men without any mimic, some nice dog owners who greeted me back, one little chat with a woman because her dog tried attacking me (so cute :D), and, the savior of the day, a grandpa who was very happy that I greeted him and smiled geniunely. It was all worth after I saw that grandpa :D hahaha
    Also I went beyond my limit that I had run last time, and it felt good trying harder this time.
    More smiling grandpas next time pls XD
     
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  12. Hello Friend

    Hello Friend Fapstronaut

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    I absolutely agree with you!
     
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  13. Sir Minato

    Sir Minato Fapstronaut

    Day 3:
    Today I only wanted to go running because I wanted to do the challenge in the morning, since I have the theory that in the morning people are friendlier, lol :D
    And it seems to be true, at least this time. Further data to be gathered :D Not a single person did not greet me back, unlike yesterday. Some were suprised, I got "assaulted" by a dog again ( I am thinking about actually telling the dog "no" and "stop" next time, with a very determined voice[and the appropriate body language. I had dogs, so I know the magic]. I wonder how they would react. Because I am pretty sure whenever they are outside, no stranger ever said anything to the dog, so the owner is the only regulator. But maybe it would be beneficial for the dog to know we strangers can regulate, too? Because I think small dogs who always jump on strangers live in a fantasy world where everyone is scared from them and only the dog owner can hold them back - and being held back is then a sign of bonding for them on top of that? hahaha :D. Find out more in the next episode of "Dog Whisperer W." XD ). Some friendly faces. A group of 3 women with nordic walking sticks greeted me back and when I encountered them the second time they were like "here we go, round two" - another one "yea I was thinking the same" towards me :D And we were smiling at each other. Then there was another woman with nordic sticks that I encountered for the second time, I accidently greeted her again and she was like "do you actually greet everyone?" and I was like "yes, I try to." and I added "I am just upset how everyone just looks straight ahead and people don't even notice each other." She responded "Yea. I agree. .. Wish you a nice sunday!" - "Thanks, for you, too".
    So that was really nice. My first little chat. I was very happy about that and it was cool she asked me. Her smile was genuine, too.

    Edit: Ohhhh important note, that I forgot to mention:
    At one point I realised greeting strangers wasn't as fun as it was on day one. I figured out it became kind of a mechanical thing. To work around that, I started focusing on actually feeling something towards the stranger. I focused on internally wishing them the best and for them to have a good day. That brought some spice to the challenge, and I was also able to smile way more genuine like that. Because when I did it on day 1, I did it with the mindset that everyone is a human being; while on day 3 at first my brain was lazy and just seeing them as "strangers encountered while running". They are not! Everyone is individual, has their deepness, and is defined by more than their reaction to my greeting. I will keep that in mind now in the following days and try to work on my perception towards others.

    Aside from my nice experiences regarding strangers, I ran alot further this time without needing a slow walking break, I'm really proud of me! I like making progress and pushing myself, I'm getting addicted to this :D
    Have a nice day everyone
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2019
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  14. Deadpool98

    Deadpool98 Fapstronaut

    Yessss running is contagious, for the past 21 days i have been running except a day or two. You will feel alot energetic in the morning then running in the evening. Keep running and keep chasing your dreams, what's life if you ain't gonna be running towards your goals ;)!!
     
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