hi guys, before i got here i lasted between 3-8 days without porn most of the time..when i got here i decided to take it seriously and did 86 days of abstination from porn and masturbation, then relapsed. since then i cant find real motivation to quit althought my life are way more displined and better then they ever was on other terms..but since then (about a month) im lasting 5-10 days most. its like im ok till some day it crawls into my thoughts i shake it and the day after it just make my heart pound and makes me dizzy and cant concentrate until i do it..im doing everything i can to delay it but when it comes i just cant resist..im starting to doubt how i ever was able to go almost 90 days.. has anyone experinced something similar and has any tips ?
Try and zone out and meditate when the uncontrollable urges arise. Also, how did it feel to go 90 days? I find it hard to believe that you didn't experience some great benefits; this should give you the strength to go all the way.
im meditating regulary for about 8 months nowdays 30-60 minutes every night before sleep.. it feels great and has alot of benefits..also those 86 days were wonderful but when i relapsed i just felt that i used all of my mental powers and cant go on any more..like i need to charge..i think that i wasnt ready to quit but this 90 days gave me a good glimpse of how it shoud be and feel..i belive that the next time that ill be able to rack this number of days ill be able to quit..it just that i cant find real motivation right now /:
Motivation can burn out. You may need something stronger to get you going. A master plan, so to speak, in which NoFap also plays a role but is not the main factor. What you are saying is true. It is very difficult, dealing with such a heavy burden. You need to whittle it down to something more manageable. Something you truly want. A certain life. Start there, perhaps.
Will power is like a muscle - it can wear down and reach burn and failure when it resists beyond it's strength - see video 1 below for better explanation of the ultimate goal - allowing the rewiring of desire. Also, there's a difference between pain and suffering - hell, I know what you mean about "heart-pounding dizziness," in which I feel delusional even - but my mistake is my state of mind - turning pain into unbearable suffering on such occasions, pushing me into uncontrolled relapse time and again. Watch video 2 below for a better explanation. Best wishes! Keep up the fight!
@itay I had it somewhere between day 7o and 90. I woke up at 4 Am like every day in the week and I was shaking, sweating, had a boner, my heart was pounding, and in my mind that I cannot do this anymore. I was praying, watching the movie ("The Encounter") all the time (yes even at 4 AM) and I asked Jesus for help to be able to continue. Usually, I had my hands connected via fingers when praying and on my chest and I was asking for so long till I have fallen a sleep. I have noticed couple of things: 1. It helps it you don't hold grudges and have a clean mind. 2. It helped me: "I rather die but I will not masturbate" but I am asking you to help me for the situation to go away. 3. I believe that from day 85-86 I started to believe that I will make those 90 days. That was the magical moment. It feels like when you are running long-distance run and start to see a finish far away. You somehow know that you will make it. And you are saying to yourself "Bring your worst, I am gonna make it no matter what."
tnx alot man..ill try those vids i sort of have a master plan and the nofap was the first step..when i got to 80+ days i already became so much better at other things that i now find it hard to motivate myself for the nofap..although i last a week most of the time without p or m i did got to 86 days and most of the time i was feeling that i can go even 150-180 days easily..but i broke. like sometimes out of nowhere i have panic attacks that cannot be shut unless i watch p..i really tried almost everthing till that point. when this happen i try to keep on doing the important task that im doing but my mind is not there so i try to do little exercise streaching and meditation..i go to talk to people and call to my buddy that also doing the challenge..but when my mind is on that mode all of this combined cant stop it for long /:
@itay well, it is better to go day-by-day, hour-by-hour. Reason: 1. I think that to stay clean indefinitely, you have to change the mindset. And as you can tell, mindset changes slowly. 2. It helped me to stay morally clean and when there was a problem, it was important to solve it. 3. It was also necessary to cut off some people which were causing emotional damage and simply were keeping you stressed and down.
Sorry to detract the thread. I should really be helping @itay (although the other advise is great so there's no need), but I cannot help but notice your great progress @tyler007. You're doing so well, man. You're almost at fucking 150 days! Great achievement, bro! How does it feel? What benefits have you felt so far? I'm sure you've probably done a post about this before? I've probably never seen it? And what are your urges like now? (if any). I'll be up there soon with you Still got a while to go, but this is it this time, man. I'm going to kick this thing out my life for good. I've wasted so much time with this shit.
You've made it to 86 days before which is awesome! You just have to believe that you can back on track again! I understand when you've abstained for a long time, after a relapse you tend to go into a binge and wonder why it's so hard to get back on track again. You just have to push through it man and be consistent! I hope you can get back on track soon and on the way back to recovery!
tnx man, i hope so too 1. im always getting the feeling that the first time (86 days) only broke a barrier for me..only after i relapsed i underwent some serious change in mind..i believe that the next long period will be the last ill ever need..starving to get there..im the meantime i think im doing ok lasting 5-10 days each time i relapse..its a good margin to prepare myself for abstination. 2. i didnt really got you..by moral you mean like a priest or something ? 3. did that half a year ago..hugeee help!
@itay With 2. I meant: Usually I was fapping after I experienced some stress (difficult day at work, when I was feeling not good enough etc) After I started with this, I took every day like 20 minutes and I was trying to sort out the stuff in my mind. Basically, think about every problem and try to sort it out in my mind. Example: There was an issue with my manager in the previous job. He was mean to other people. He was driving them insane. I always took a moment and was thinking why he behaves like that till I have found out. The thing is if you understand someone's behaviour, it does not bring you down so much because you are willing to help him. So instead of holding problems in myself. I was trying to get emotionally and morally clean. It did not work all the time. As it was typical toxic workplace (10 people left in last 2 months from the team). But it made the journey much less difficult. Do not hold grudges. @AlltheRageBackHome I do not consider my journey complete so far, so there was not a log in success stories yet. The positive changes: 1. I am much more confident than I was. 2. I used to be quitter. That's gone. 3. I am organized. I have a new job and I can see every day how much this is appreciated . 4. I sleep less. 5. I can hold the eye contact as long as I want. 6. It feels like you are full of energy and you need to move forward no matter what. 7. Somewhere along the way you change and you start thinking about improving your life in a big way. 8. I have realized that If I make a plan and stick to it no matter what, I can manage everything. There is much more to it. The thing is that I was addicted till the age of 15 which is long. Really long.
That sounds good, but what about the urges? Do you still feel them often? Every once in a whole, or is it daily? Or almost never? etc...
@AlltheRageBackHome 1. The urges to watch porn/masturbate are almost gone. 2. I mean, it can happen that you have a dream about it but for me is the first one in more than a month. (last night actually). 3. There is a shift. Basically, you start to look for real connection with people. 4. I have noticed that I do not really like to watch like half naked girls anymore on youtube anymore. There was some video on youtube about "10 hottest nations" today. I was curious so I clicked on it but I closed it after like 20 seconds. I mean there were some girls ( guys too) but : A. It is still a video. (not the real deal). B. She is not smiling because of you/on you. C. I do not like to look at her like on piece of meat. D. Deeper connection is missing. E. I still have alarm in my head to be careful. (It may be a new habit). I am not sure if you understand a lot of it can be hardly described as this feels like a experience thing...
Awesome Yes, I completely understand. Back in 2008 before I even knew about NoFap I did about a 4 month streak, so I know how it feels to be completely rebooted.
