Hi, I currently live alone in a student dorm for my 3rd year of university, however i haven´t left home in weeks except for trips to a supermarket next door to get some food every now and then. I watch anime all day and lie to my parents when they call. I´ve heard stories of people that dont leave their rooms like me but have not found a community online that helps with it. I was wondering if any one here is going trough somenthing similar?.
Hey pmav, I'm also in 3rd year. There have been times where I'll look back and realize I haven't done any work in a week and haven't left my room much. I feel shame and that shame feeds into the cycle of doing things to distract. I find that I dread talking to my parents and hide that I'm not doing well at school. Find a way to break out of the cycle. Be honest with people around you about what is going on. Online communities are great (like NoFap), but they can even serve to just provide another distraction or escape. Try to also stay grounded in the world around you. I would try to find excuses to go out - join a club or group. I find if I can get in motion that will carry through the day. For me, if a structure guides my day, I am more disciplined and get more done. I get what you're going through. Let me know if I can do anything for you. Good luck, TARS
I noticed that one of the tags was Hikikomori, so I assume you are aware that your behavior is relatively common. This is not just a Japanese phenomenon, because I see this in the United States with my peers as well. In my college years, I spent a considerable amount of time in my dorm room (I had a single room) doing one of two things; doing homework/studying or PMO. I did however gradually spend more time outside and got to the point where I would go out to bars on the weekends. What happened in those years? I slowly cut back on PMO use and sitting in my room wasting time on YouTube. I have to ask you, what exactly did you do for the past couple of weeks? Often these actions are used as an escape from your reality.
Similar here, but not for weeks, but it is difficult yes. We need to push ourselves to do something in our life, to get new friends, new opportunities and so on. Nobody will do it for us.
I've been struggling hard with this as well lately, and it's not the first time. I'm prone to depression and being a homebody anyway so the flatline feels hit me pretty bad and I have a real tough time getting out and doing stuff I enjoy. I looked forward to having the freedom away from work and responsibility for so long and now that it's here I've done nearly nothing and it's really not cool. Didn't go out on Halloween, haven't been keeping my place clean, been eating microwave crap even though I love to cook and have mostly snoozed thru my favorite hunting seasons. Feels awful... I hate to say it but the only way to fix this is to break the habit; the longer you do this the worse it will get. Practice some tough love on yourself and start small: Go out and just take walks. Little ones at first. Stop and pet some cute dogs. Go out to a bar and just have one drink, maybe work up to making some small talk with the bartender or someone. I generally hate doing that but you'll find that getting out and having a drink and shooting the shit with a stranger about not feeling so great will perk you up some...not saying go discuss the horrors of porn addiction with a complete stranger but just get out and yak a little; literally everyone else has their down days and personal demons they don't bring up and it's honestly real cathartic and goes a long way in not feeling so alone. You might even make a friend or get invited to a cool event. Little bit of a soap box here but as much as I sometimes criticize our older generations for certain things, we can learn a lot from the way folks dealt with what was bugging them before technology took over. I always meet older guys who clear their head going on walks, out for a beer, sitting on the porch with a pipe, going fishing, sitting in the park and feeding ducks, going out for a country drive, etc. It seems odd these days but seriously, give it a solid chance. Sitting in front of a screen all day ain't doing you any favors as you already know. Also very important: If you can try hitting the gym or going for a jog when you start feeling more comfortable as this will go a long way into making you feel better.
I am having the same problem right now. I would try finding a hobby like skateboarding. Skateboarding you can go to a skatepark and have some social interaction. It is also pretty fun. If you are very anxious, maybe take theanine. They sell it at walmart in the supplements section. I read somewhere there was a study on theanine vs xan ax and theanine was better at making people relaxed. It is not like benzodiazepines where they make you drowsy. It is an ingredient in green tea and has been used for thousands of years so it is very safe. I would also try getting more exercise. If you don't want to go to a gym, maybe start by doing some pushups in your room. Go for a walk outside listening to some music. Ride your bike. Anything to get out of the house.
I was not out of my room for like one month now.. because am depressed and am happy with that... but inside am crying
been there myself. From retroperspective my best advice is: get out of that toxic environment ASAP tell the truth to your parents and look for solutions or talk to other ppl in the real world - have meaningful conversations except to make a sacrifice (for huge later benefit) don't let other decide over yourself but admit that you need help and seek help motivate yourself. Use your brain and the brains of others - there are many good things in life waiting for you. And don't forget: you already have many good things in life. It's not all black and white Young people get in such situations (and worse) all the time. The good thing is, that there are many helping hands and resources for them. They just have to come forward. When you've got much responsibility or at least expectancy on your shoulders but little real life experience that's not easy for sure! But nobody's perfect. University and all that ... it's not an easy task. Just say what's going on with you. It doesn't mean that you can't take responsibility later and still fulfill expectancies. Everything will work out some way or another!
I had a period like that few years ago. My ex decided to break up with me and she also broke me. I spent whole day everyday in my room, only get out for food and drinks. I cut off from all of my friends. I played video games, watched anime, porn and animated porn. You know what happened eventually? My attendance is low and my academic performance plummeted. I got two warning letters from the University and the second one said if I don't get my ass out, then I will be out forever. That's the moment I realised I needed to change. It had been my lowest point in life!
been there done that. Feel of shame is exageratting but things just dont come to you. You need to make the first step.
