Having alot of trouble coming to God when I am unclean

Think of it this way: God is not surprised by your sin. He already knew everything you would ever do, and he still chose to love you. Your shame is just another form of pride: It keeps you looking at yourself and your problems, instead of at God.

God doesn't want your perfection or your righteousness. He just wants you. He just wants you to come to him, no matter what shape you're in. Bring him your lust and your pain and your baggage. He's okay with all of that. Don't feel you need to be perfect before you can draw near. That is just a lie.

I pray you will learn to trust him more fully, so that you come to the point of being willing to surrender yourself to him. He is good, without fail. There is no one more worthy of our everything than him.

https://www.lifestream.org/lifestream-3-how-can-i-live-in-increasingly-trusting-jesus/

 

Romans 5:6-8 6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person- though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die- 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Christ died for sinners, not for the righteous.

Luke 5:31-32 31 And Jesus answered them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance."

Another image that may help: If you have children it will make it easier to understand. If your son draws a picture for you, but he's no Michelangelo, are you going to toss the picture out? No, you will be glad to receive your son. Love is not based on what the other provides.

 

Consider studying what repentance is. Full repentance puts us right back where we should be.

 

It is the unavoidable nature of sin as designed by the devil. When we commit sin, our conscience leads us to shame and shame leads us away from God. We need a conscience and even a modicum of shame (underpinned by a knowledge of the Gospels) to discern right from wrong but shame can become debilitating and as you have experienced it can cause us to distance ourselves from God. These are the nature of the tools in the devil's tool box. Don't let the bastard win. When tempted, run to God for protection and strength. If you sin, run to God in contrition and seeking forgiveness. If all is well, run to God in thanks.

 

Also, if you stop running *away* from God in the first place, then you don't need to spend all that time constantly running back to him. Just, you know, *stay*.