Heirs' June "Stop the Autopilot" Challenge thread

Day 8
Part 1
Today I went for a super walk. It lasted nearly 5 hours. Honestly, I never want to walk that fat again, at least not without water, and never again in a desert. My stupid self almost passed out. But it was a very good walk indeed.

Part 2
I thought a lot about my brother and I. Honestly, when I think about it, we don't usually talk about sensible things. It's either games, or I'm showing a video thT I saw. That's good and all, but we were never quite open with each other. Not to place the blame, but sometimes I feel it started with him, and that he is just like that. He doesn't normally reach out to anyone, not even mum or dad. I wonder why that is, and as much as I'd love to change that, it really has more to do with him. It's odd, I've tried, but ultimately he decided whether he wants to continue to talk. I wish I could understand him a little more...

 

Day 8

Part 1

I realized that I need to be more thankful, so instead of thinking about my problems while reflecting, I took a moment to just be thankful.

Part 2

I long boarded again and as I mentioned above, took check of my life and realized how great I have it comparably. I have loving parents, 3 meals a day, a place to live and a bed to sleep on.

 

got spend the whole day with the wife this happens to rarely that our schedules line up like this had lots of fun today. and got in a good 15 20 minuet work out now time for meditation and sleep

 

Today

Can't really say I accomplished anything new but I am slowly build some real positive habits. I'm making my bed, drinking almost a gallon of water a day, and most importantly practicing mindfulness.

Today was a sort of down day but I got through it. Earlier this afternoon before work I was watching a video from a fellow NoFap member named hayden rose and he mentioned how not all days are going to be good but we have to get through it. It's always going to be good days and bad. I got so much encouragement from that video.

 

Day 9

Part 1

Went to a new museum today with the daycare I work for. Autopilot is a hard thing to lapse into when working with kids, unless I am able to do so unconsciously... anyway I also chose to right in my journal during the bus ride rather than just reading news on my phone like I would normally.

Part 2

Another good longboard session thinking and reflecting. Thought about why I want a wife. Always a good subject.

 

I got to work out a new recipe today about an 8 out of 10 will perfect this one soon thought simple you subtle complex wife help so we got to talk about stuff she is always a great sound bored for me she never fails to call me on bad logic or just BS in general.

 

Day 9
Part 1- Did the laundry and cleaning...Today I told my mom to relax and did the chores

Part 2- During today's self-contemplation time, I thought about the situation and circumstances around me, things are rough and difficult, I'm facing some troubled times, Its hard to witness the relationship that brought you to the world and nurtured you, your deepest sense of security fall apart in front of your eyes...I'm weak and numb, but I'm strong enough to crawl on..

Stay strong and Take care!

 

Day 9
Part 1
Yesterday, I didn't literally do anything new. Just stayed home and loaded around the house. I guess the walk killed me from the day earlier. But, I did catch a ton of Pokemon in Leaf Green while I was doing nothing. So... dedication?
Part 2
I've been thinking once more about my brother and I. I always said I would help him by showing him I if I coyld then he could to. But, it takes time to get to an impressive number for him to really appreciate. So I've just been thinking about when I should make my move. I've noticed he's delved deeper and deeper into the depths of the PMO cycle. I believe it would be my fault if I just watched him go.

 

Day 10

Part 1

I am going to bed earlier than normal as a way to break up the routine.

Part 2

As I was reflecting, I decided to write some stuff down. I tried to make some song lyrics, but I am not sure they are any good. Also, I realized I was really tired, so that is also the reason I am going to bed.

 

Day 10
Part 1
Today I rode skateboard to the library to do some SAT study. Usually I would walk, but it takes far too long, and base doesn't have good public transportion. Honestly, I'd rather skateboard than walk anyhow.

Part 2
Things to think about today, well I've been stealing food from myself again. It's not much different from the PMO cycle, so I'm going to end it as well

 

So did some cleaning around the house and was all set to fix the muffler on my car and get a good workout in when work calls me in on my day off but no big what got me mad was I was ther for less then 2 hours before they said ya sorry guess we didn't need after all and sent me so spent the drive home thinking about work and my future with it. Also wife lost her house keys so ya

 

Day 11 of June
Part 1: Decided to change my schedule of the day, and started a new challenge: eat all my meals in the kitchen without a TV nor a PC.

Part 2: I am trying to still understand what led me to the last relapses, most of the reasons are well known, but I feel like I still miss something, will have to meditate more about it.

 

Day 10
Part 1- Everything today was autopilotty man...but today was a beautiful day!

Part 2- I feel guilty because I'm running away from my responsibilities and tasks entrusted to me...I'm letting people down...I need to work on it

 

Day 11

Part 1- Today i had plans to go out with my girlfriend but we had to reschedule. So i spend the day cleaning my house and doing some laundry. I felt kind of sick today but i didn't allow myself to just sit around all day because that's when the Pmo thoughts creep in.

Part 2- I spent a good hour coming up with a 90 day game plan. I'm going to get my self together and get some sh*t done. Get back to a solid workout routine and finish up my school stuff. It would be so awesome to reach 90 days PMO free but also accomplishing my other goals as well. I just feel like i'm wasting too much time and time is precious. So that my plan.. Its going to be tough but i think it can be done. It has to be done.

 

Day 11

Part 1

This autopilot challenge is getting harder
I am counting that going out to Sam’s Club was breaking auto pilot
I really did not want to do it, but my mom wanting me to get a new card
Yet when I got there, I had to have the person who was on the card with me, and my mom was not there

Even though it was breaking auto pilot and not in my nature, I could have done something better
Like watch the USA soccer game with an American Outlaws chapter instead of at home

Part 2

I sat and wrote down some ideas for tomorrow
I want to do more work and less play
I want to be more intention in how I fight the auto pilot

 

Spent most of the day in a fog then work came and pissed me off more bureaucracy getting in the way got to improve on an old recipe (fresh herbs all ways better) then in an step to rid my self of the anger and stress I found some P'subs which only made it worse. Even as I sat there I was thinking why am I doing this but just didn't snap out of auto pilot in time feeling even worse now spent time thinking and reflecting on what happend and how it relates to this challenge and I do believe this challenge is helping me to at least identify when I'm on auto pilot

 

Day 11

Part 1- I'm sorry but I was all autopilotty today, ended up getting a navy style haircut merely because a friend suggested it, got rid of my beard and I now look like a kid...Darn!!!!

Part 2- I'm prone to suggestions and put undue weight to what others say...Its like I go to a garments store I feel this particular shirt looks good, and someone says "Coyote, don't you think thats bit of dull?, Check this out instead" I choose another, but when I reach home,I miss the shirt on which I had eyes on first...Darn..all this happens because I'm autopilotty and lack much of self-awareness, My mind simply wanders..I can't let this go on..Need to formulate a plot...

 

Day 12 of June

Part 1: Decided to start a new book since I finished my last yersterday.


Part 2: Still feeling like I need to have a good streak and still feeling like I want to put P behind my shoulders forever. But now I understand why this is so difficult and why you cannot expect to beat this in an easy way.
5 days in, wish me luck boys.

 

Day 11
Part 1
Yesterday I did 2 new things. I made an all new sandwich, it had eggs, ham, spinach and onions, amazing. Then, instead of taking a cold shower, I took a cold bath, it wasn't all that great, but hey worth a try.

Part 2
I thought about nothing yesterday, I forgot honestly. But, I'm still think about how to talk to my bro about PMO. We have already, but it's a little complicated now.

 

Hang in there brother