Hello guys! I have low confidence I need help!

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Stoppmo0528, Jun 6, 2020.

  1. Stoppmo0528

    Stoppmo0528 Fapstronaut

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    I don’t know, I know my problem I have low confidence in every aspect in my life
    - i don’t know how to dance
    - people fucking kidding on me/ distracting on me with words and I don’t know what to say(in army)
    -no girlfriend
    - no girls friends
    - I have confidence just with my close close friends(and the only)

    I don’t know what to do for real, I know what I want to improve( the confidence, and to not give a shit) but it seems like I can’t do it....
    Every time someone tell something I don’t know what to say

    - I don’t like my self I don’t know how to do it..

    I need advices guys
    And I need nofap to help me too(day 7) please...

    I had streak like(40,14,14,14)
    I need u more then ever, I want to talk even with girls, to make more friends but I can’t because the things I said above....
     
  2. Stoppmo0528

    Stoppmo0528 Fapstronaut

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    By the way I’m 20 years old, return home every 2 weeks for 3 days “combat engineer” in my country we need to serve from 18
     
  3. PrinceOtaku

    PrinceOtaku Fapstronaut

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    Confidence takes years to develop you just dont wake up one day feeling like superman, you have to go through some type of adversity to gain confidence. I use to be the same way but I took little steps to self improvement. Do something you like, that will help you gain confidence
     
  4. melville

    melville Fapstronaut

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    I used to be so afraid of dancing because I was worried of what other people might think. Then a friend told me to just close my eyes and feel the music. After a few years of practice, I now feel really comfortable on a dance floor. And you don't have to be good at dancing, just move your body in a manner that feels good to you. Dancing should be fun!

    Generally speaking, I gain confidence in anxious situation by trying to relax and be present.
     
  5. Stoppmo0528

    Stoppmo0528 Fapstronaut

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    I know I can dance but just when I drunk when the music go down I’m kinda don’t know what to do but it sometimes seems like everyone
    2. I don’t really can do something that I like to make my day better becuase I’m in the army combat solider, right now I’m in officer course, I will be an officer after 4 months, 1.5 months left, I will have soliders maybe it will give me confidence too

    3. I know that I need to reach confidence, becuase 2 months ago I couldn’t even to do a 10 min presentation to soliders and even talk and share a word from my
    Mouth.
    Now I can do 25 min with computer also in front of class with high voice..
     
  6. YugenDran

    YugenDran Fapstronaut

    Oh mate.. I feel you.. i was same place as you the only thing changed is my mindset and people still mocking me.. Doesnt matter how high your nofap streak if you didnt focus on improving your mindset its still same..
    I recommend you read books about how to make friends and influence people and alot of self help book..
    And goodluck! If you need further help feel free to PM me! have a good day!
     
  7. Stoppmo0528

    Stoppmo0528 Fapstronaut

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  8. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    if you are not confident, it's probably because you don't value yourself. Work on yourself to the point you are really proud of you. In that moment you will stop looking for other people validation and start to don't give a fuck of what they think and stand up for what you think without fear. That's when you start to feel confident and you probably going to attract woman, friend and bullies are not going to bully you because all of them are going to start to respect you and whant to be in your life.
     
  9. ThePeakWae

    ThePeakWae Fapstronaut

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    Thats good and if the feminazis and the state say anything about it to you on having problems dancing, dont give a damn, it´s ok, you are a man, you arent prince charming taking dancing lessons since you´re 5, it´s normal and dont let those suckers tell you otherwise, you can get how to dance at your own pace, if people around are making a fuss about that, something´s wrong.

    For your streak to work, you need to stop thinking on Streak(s), focus on your current streak, you are in control but you need discipline to make it work, I failed multiple times to keep a steady streak case I had the same Streak(s) mindset.
     
    ProboyMate likes this.
  10. Don't worry about girls.. Goals Over Girls, every time. If you value yourself without a girlfriend, girls can sense that and they'll suddenly start talking to you. Believe in yourself and accept yourself. Confidence comes by trusting yourself that you can do what you want, and say what you want.
     
    ProboyMate likes this.
  11. ProboyMate

    ProboyMate Fapstronaut

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    Problem is that you care too much, people notice that you care when they say things to work on your nerves and they notice that you worry about it,
    girls also notice if you care and want it too bad so that's the only problem you have all the other problems you mentioned like not being able to dance or knowing what to say back are just an illusion.

    Reason I know that u care too much is because u come on here to talk about it, if u dont care what people say to u they will stop but the problem is u genuinenly have to stop caring for it to work, most of the times this can only happen if you are happy in life, so the only real problem is that un mentioned that u dont like ur self and that needs to change, why dont u like urself we are all human nobody is perfect just live your best life.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020
    ForYouAreWithMe and ThePeakWae like this.
  12. Stoppmo0528

    Stoppmo0528 Fapstronaut

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    I can see what you want to say but did you do it? And it helps you? I mean what is your position in life now? And what before? I feel like when I’m in army, what people do in my country for 3 years like me, I think I don’t get nothing even when I’m a sergeant in combat training in army on 60 guys and with my own 12 guys I’m so with low self esteem


    I also can’t make friends because in my service people hurt me with names because I was shy, when everyone make friends, even the not combat service friends that I know that come home more make a lot of friends on there’s services , in my last 2 years I think my life stucked, I got 0 girls, 0 friends!!!!, I feel weird all the time
     
  13. Rommel

    Rommel Fapstronaut

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    I feel you bro! I'm also very insecure in social situations, but hardly anyone can tell.

    The thing is that no magic advise would instantly make those bad feelings about yourself go away.

    However, try to find small things which you did well in social sense - and appreciate them, realize you did well in those situations. Even if it wasn't perfect, it was good, and it will be better next time. By putting attention on those little things, you'll train your brain to believe in your abilities. And surely enough you have those abilities, just like all of us. Don't let internal negative talking steer you away from your goals, and be glad for small things.

    For me personally it helps when I go to some meeting/party I'm thinking to myself: well, I'll just see what will happen, I have no particular agenda, if I feel discomfort, tired or bored I can just leave at any moment, I don't have to do anything, but have fun, let's just see.
     
  14. ThePeakWae

    ThePeakWae Fapstronaut

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    I think most of the social problems we can have, is that we have to build up our self-confidence so we can assert ourselves socially, not to the level of a natural born social lion, or to the level of a bully, but at least to a reasonable degree, where we wont be treated like cripples or social gazelles.
     
  15. ProboyMate

    ProboyMate Fapstronaut

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    Idk I never have this problem I dont care about people so much to the point it pains or makes me worried and I dont care if they want to be my friend or not if they want to be my friend Im happy to be theirs and have fun and if they don't then Im cool with that too.

    Its always been like this for me so I can't really tell you how to become like that.
    You don't really need them or them to be positive about you in order for you to be happy, if you really think about this you will realize and maybe you will care less, why not just repeat this to yourself everytime you worry about it?

    Everytime you worry about what they say or said or that you want more friends but you think people dont like you or whatever just say:
    I don't need others, and I don't need others to be positive about me to be happy.

    Maybe if you repeat this every time it will stick and you will feel like it, which in turn funny enough will give you more friends.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2020
    ForYouAreWithMe likes this.
  16. Stoppmo0528

    Stoppmo0528 Fapstronaut

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    Nice! I’m starting nofap again now! I will repeat that every time someone hurt me or dont want to be my friend ..
     
  17. One thing that gives me a confidence boost is reminding myself that I'm inevitably going to die one day and that it could happen at any time. Really brings out my "no fucks given" attitude. It's what I tell myself before doing uncomfortable activities like asking out/approaching women and trying new hobbies. I easily forget about this though, which is why I'm pretty shy most of the time.
     

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