I'm Jay I'm 54 yrs old , I'm at the point now where i feel that masturbation has ruined my adult life . I've never dated seriously or had a steady relationship , its sent me down a path of homosexual behavior add porn to the mix and here i am . I don't know what to do next . stumbled onto this site like to try
I hope what you find on this site will help you see your sexuality in a new light. Homosexual behavior... have you heard of HOCD? Anyway, wish you a good start! Just quit it, quit for good or set achievable goals for yourself regarding the number of days. You need any advice on how the site works?
How does the site work ? Is the academy worth it ? Well.... No MO this morning since that is my weakness , I usually start by saying this is the day to stop , then i cave , I got home from work and I'd be lieing if said i didnt want to stroke but i want achieve my goal and reduce if not stop. Should i tell my story ?
Heres my story if i type it out and see it in words maybe it will help me get better . Porn just helped me into this . I discovered masturbation in puberty like everyone else . As a kid i couldn't wait to get pubic hair arm pits chest hair etc. Strange ? That happened except no chest hair though, i was so dissapointed in that . I always wanted a hairy chest and still wish i had one but whatever . In the 70's before trimming and shaveing became the norm, my secret was to look for girl porn ( playgirl ) just to check what men looked like grown up, men real, men ,the Burt Reynolds type or Tom Selleck , Sam Elliot , hairy guys . Wet dreams started and when i found how to master the stroke well there u go . After 18 ,just continued to JO years no big deal but no relationships either , some day . At 27 i walked into an adult bookstore , I'd by mags take em home , lived alone no biggie right ? VHS rentals hit the market big time , so the bookstore rented 'em too even the gay ones . Booths even offered 25 cent and walk away after 10 min ( now its dollor slots ) . Then the masturbation & sex with others stared in the booths then , still no relationships . VHS turned to DVD, now Streaming , Craigslist hookups , I'm a wreck at 54 . All started with porn , what do i do ? Local help ? Mental help ? I had storage box of tapes and discs , Boxed it all up weeks ago threw it in the local dumpster . Outta my house , along with poppers cock rings etc . I still have my fleshlite and lubes . This part of my life is way in the closet no one knows at all . I'm a christian and love god, i hope he forgives me . I feel like crap . I came to know this good christian kid at work and he just got married . Perfect life ? I so in envy of him . I blame all of this on PMO . Will a reboot repair any of this ? Every journey stats with a first step 2 days now .
You came to NoFap, and that in itself, you should see as a victory. It's never too late to start NoFap and it's great because you should feel more honest for coming out and telling your story. Keep writing, everyone here has recognized that there's a problem with PMO and all have lost significant chunks of their lives before coming here. You will do great! Have small goals in the beginning and don't worry if you relapse, PMO addiction is the new drug. Start visiting the NoFap Forum where you can learn the operation of this site. Everyone in time makes tremendous progress on here, you will too. Stay positive, stay strong! Welcome and good luck!
4th day ! Softish boner earlier but I let go before full erection, mornings are difficult , hope I can make it , my balls hurt a little .If I lay still i can feel them moving a bit . This must be withdrawal lol
I caved this morn. i need to just get outta bed . If any of you know what a Fleshlite is , i got one . I found a neat trick to it And it feels good to me . I went 5.5 days and O 3x's in a 1.5 hrs ,i have to feel the sensation of O . Im a guy for gods sake . Maybe i can go longer next time . Should i quit the fleshlite cold turkey ? Get rid of it ? Again my struggle is not with porn its with chronic masturbation .
Unfortunately i just rubbed another one out with the help of fleshlite broke out in a cold sweat ,god help me ,again no porn just high drive , tomorrow fresh start i swear
Tomorrow is here . NoFap no boner , partied some yesterday had beer and a good time , Openly talked to some old acquaintances to break out of my shell something hard for me to do . I spend so much time by myself it hard to deal with sometimes .
Caved in now two days in a row , Tomorrow be better I hope . I also have this strange want to Fap with a buddy when he gets back from Vaca.
Fighting the urge to fap , Like ive said before the porn is not the issue , its the desire to feel an orgasm ( to Cum ) . However i just went thru my computer and deleted all my nasty pics , baby steps !
I also wanted to say this , i turned down a buddy that wanted to hookup today , self esteem just soared up a notch
