Hopeless, yet Hoping.

Hello to the community in this unique place. I have never ever had any online help or discussion whatsoever. Hence, i
i don't even know if anybody's even listening. But I'll still say, I'll still call for help because i need it.

I am a 22 year old guy, struck in this vicious addiction for several years now. Currently, I fap almost daily, sometimes even twice, and on rare days even 3 times a day. But i want to reduce it to 0 fap for 100 days (and hopefully beyond). I dnt have a girlfriend righht now coz i wanna focus on studies for a while.

I am maybe not in a super bad place fortunately, like i have seen here with some people maybe. I dnt wanna kill myself or others if i am too busy to do it someday. I have even gone about 10 days several times without doing it, maybe even 15 once. But i wanna stop before it gets to worse. I wanna stop right now.

I see myself as a porn addict, and watch several daily. Mostly, i dnt stop by just "watching it", and it is mostly followed by "doing it". I have tried several things in the past: giving up my phone to avoid porn, thinking in my mind that i should stop it for the sake of my family-- if i love them, I'd not masturbate again. For the sake/fear of God, I'd not masturbate. I should at least not masturbate on holy days. Failed each time, in each approach. Eventually, i always return to porn, and hence fapping too. If not, i recount my past sexual endeavours and fap thinking about all those girls (this, i think is the harder problem to solve).

I almost always have some family member in the next room, and in our house we dnt have a culture of keeping our doors closed. Going to the bathroom for too long or to often would raise suspicion too. So for very long now, i have been faping in my pants secretly, it dries up and nobody gets to know. I know most of you'd find this gross, but consider it my adaptation to the circumstances.

Now i am starting a 90 day drill of losing weight and becoming healthy. Hence, i thought this would be the best time to stop fapping too simultaneously. I secretly hope to be aided in gym if i don't lose my energy and protein like this.

I have no clue what all is possible here, or who'll help me ( if any), or if it'll be successful at all. But the bottom line is I WANT IT TO SUCCEED, I WANT TO STOP.