How porn changes the way my husband sees makeup

samnf1990 · Jun 13, 2020

Specific actions like wearing makeup or lingerie or particular behaviour-they can be a reminder of porn, but they exist in porn because they are designed to be attractive. Wearing or doing things to be attractive is not the same thing as providing consent, but can be a deliberate way of signalling attraction, sexual arousal or interest in sex. Being wary of things that are arousing 'because they are in porn' is valid, but also, a lot of things in porn are there for the very reason that they are arousing, independently of being in porn. Signalling to a man your sexual interest in him is arousing, and the hypersexualisation in porn includes that obvious and ubiquitous willingness.

Real Roboin · Jun 18, 2020

akitty820 said: ↑

We had a strange day yesterday. My husband is currently rebooting, and is now trying hard mode after an O during sex a week ago caused him to feel really horrible. Since the O, he had been completely uninterested in me, very distant, and irritable. We had some very good talks about his porn addiction but, if I didn’t engage with him first, it was as if I was invisible.

So yesterday, I was feeling a little bit down about myself. I decided to wear a little bit more makeup than normal as a way to try to see myself as attractive again. Well, it was like a switch was flipped: my husband was suddenly so attentive and so sexually attracted to me that he could barely contain himself. I was even wearing the exact same outfit that I wore the day before; the only difference was a little eyeliner, but he couldn’t stop objectifying me and staring at my butt and chest.

We talked about it for a long time and had a couple of epiphanies:

- To me, sex is him and our relationship. To him, sex is porn. So I see him as my sex partner, and he sees any woman who is wearing makeup or revealing clothing (aka “looks like porn”) as being a potential sex partner.
- The women in porn always “want” him; consent is never required. Because of this, he interprets a woman wearing makeup and/or revealing clothing as signaling to him that she “wants him.”

It’s not because I’m exponentially more attractive with a little more makeup on; it’s his perception of what the makeup “means” that makes him see me differently. So, when I’m not dressed up in a “porn”’ enough way, he doesn’t see me as a potential sex partner. He’s completely uninterested sexually, because I’m not “sending him sex signals.” And, when I am dressed up, he interprets me as constantly sending him sex signals, and it sends him over the edge.

Obviously, this is not the case; I often send him signals when I’m wearing less makeup, and he rejects me. I wasn’t sending him signals yesterday when I put on the makeup, but he thought I was and it turned him on.

A lot of the women on the street who “look like porn” won’t even realize he’s there, but his mind thinks they “want” him. And he doesn’t even notice that women who aren’t wearing makeup exist, so they could be making bedroom eyes at him all day and he’d never know.

We’ve had this issue of him treating me differently because of makeup in the past, but the speed and intensity of the change was shocking this time. Because of that, I was, understandably, very scared to take my makeup off last night. But he told me that, now he’s realized what’s going on, he can start to change his mindset. He came into the bathroom with me to watch me wash the makeup off my face, and he looked at my clean face the same way as he had been looking at me all night, in a very attentive and attracted sort of way.

He said it’s never made sense to him how a bit of ink on my face can completely change the way he views me, because I don’t look that different with or without makeup, and I’m still beautiful without it. But without it, I’m his best friend and might as well be his sister. With it I’m the sexiest thing in the world. Now that he has more insight, he thinks that perception will change.

So it’s scary and confusing, but I am feeling a bit better about the whole situation. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of situation before?
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Here is was tan- I had put fake bake on and instantly he was turned on. so if I am not tan- what does he think.

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How porn changes the way my husband sees makeup

samnf1990 Fapstronaut

Real Roboin Fapstronaut

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