How to deal with touch starvation

Stay in that situation until you find success.

No, it won't hurt you.

Don't let female academics and psychiatrists get in your head.

 

I believe cuddle gals exist that you could pay to cuddle with you, nonsexual of course.

 

Look - touch is very important for you as a human being. When we hear "touch," we usually think of things like cuddling, kissing, having sex, or holding hands. However, in reality, simple things like handshakes or fistbumps, if done enough times daily, are good enough to keep touch starvation at a minimum. For a long time, I thought I had touch starvation, when, in reality, I had loneliness (a completely different issue). It's important not to confuse the two.

I'd strongly recommend learning how to have a good strong handshake and to always (when appropriate) shake people's hands as you greet them. Men, women, it doesn't matter. Sure, it's not the same as having sex or kissing someone, but it does the trick. In my experience, 5 handshakes have the same effect as 1 hug.

Also, being able to shake people's hands, and consistently eye contact with everyone you interact with will boost your confidence, which, will eventually make you more attractive to most women.

 

you are a student in college right now.. I feel your pain, it can be a literal hell to be surrounded by women constantly and not hooking up with any of them. I'd recommend following a spiritual path... and get really into that instead of thinking about women.

Christianity is a great place to belong to, and you can get sort of lost in that world instead of the world of sex. If you absolutely don't like Christianity for whatever reason, then I would recommend Buddhism or Hinduism.

But if you can get really absorbed into the spiritual path.. this greatly, greatly eases the pain. I have experienced it firsthand... its possible to be in a state of "non-caring about sex".. and then stinging pain is gone.

I also like to swim laps at the gym. Swimming creates things called "endorphins". Endorphins are sort of like natural painkillers that your body produces on its own. I think I've even read before that these endorphins can almost feel as good as taking a painkilling drug like oxycodone or morphine.

Start living for the endorphins, natural feel good chemicals that your body produces itself, and also follow the spiritual path. You can be freed from the hell of desiring women.

Also, do ALL of your homework and assignments at the library. I know for myself, I would relapse a lot when doing schoolwork.. but if you literally do all your assignments at the library, then you won't be at home alone working on homework, so you won't relapse as often..

 

I'm not OP, but I feel like I can respond. Personally, I could never ethically join a religion because for me to do so would be profoundly dishonest. It's not that I dislike Jesus or any other religious deity. Simply, I cannot get myself to believe something unless I have specific proof that it is true.

 

That’s a good point you make. I saw a YouTube channel about the idea of “converting to a religion” and the guy said that for him, to convert to a religion, that it isn’t actually converting.. that it is an internal organic process that happens on its own within himself

so yea, I guess it works for me to get absorbed in a religion since I have had some positive experiences with it. But for someone who hasn’t, then yea I guess my recommendation would be literally impossible

if that’s the case, I’d still recommend the swimming to get the endorphins and doing all homework in the library to avoid temptation

also, Buddhism doesn’t really involve any deity. It’s just a guy that had certain ideas about how to not suffer in life, it’s more of just an internal way to not follow the delusions that the mind seems to conjure up

 

I feel the same way as you, problem is I also want to be physically attracted to her too. No point for me to share a bed with a woman I don’t want to be physically close to

I am relapsing about 3 times a month right now on average. I’m gonna start going to church again in my free time. I don’t have anything to lose anymore… work, gym, swim, eat healthy, and church and church groups

that will be my life going forward

but for you, instead of work, it is studying/school/homework

just try and put women in the background. They are great, but not easily obtainable, maybe the Lord will give some divine assistance for one or both of us… I’ll for sure need it!

 

I totally get it. I went through the same thing, and go through the same thing when my streak is long enough. Your sexual spirit is strong, and that's something to be thankful for, and not to give to PMO. Being touch deprived is very tough.

In the meantime... there is likely a type of woman you want to marry. You have an image in your head of what traits she might have. She also has a type of man she wants to marry, with an image in her head of what traits he might have. Your 20s is a great time of growth. I'm also in the 20s right now (I gotta keep saying that before I turn 30 lol). Anyway --> become the type of man, that the type of woman you want to marry, would want to marry.

Honestly, there's no easy fix. And jerking off your pp won't fix touch deprivation but only make it worse, so work on what you can work on!

I think emotionally connecting with people is also really important. Do you have that?

 

For sure. You're on college... what area are you going into?

Connecting with people can be as simple as making light conversation at the store. It's good practice when it comes to lightly chatting up a girl you want...

You were chatting up someone's gf at college tho, so it's not social awkwardness keeping you from it, it's just life, and then you have to contend with those strong bodily urges to hold someone. A blessing and a curse. Do you think dating apps would be bad for you, or would you try them?

 

True. I'm not a dating app guy, and I've never tried one, so I can't really suggest one. Church is a good place, of course the focus of church is God, and a good woman will respect a man who respects God.

Even places with a lot of girls aren't the best, I'm in nursing school and most of the girls are married, engaged, or have a bf, or lesbian, so it's not like the dating pool is more open there.

You're doing gen-eds right now? Do you work? Yeah, I also didn't know what I wanted to do for a while, so don't feel rushed or behind because other people are figuring out what they want to do.

They say sometimes the best way to hit the target is to not be looking at it. If you focus on finding a woman, you end up neglecting other areas. If you focus on learning what makes you tick, you'll become a stronger person, and attract the right people.

Besides that, there's no easy answer on meeting women, if you want to meet the right one. Just have to keep setting your life in order. Become confident in who you are and what you bring to the table, and you will attract.

 

You are lonely and in emotional pain BECAUSE of PMO. Don't you get that?

You need the hard mode reboot if you want to make REAL long term changes
to eliminate this.

 

Bro get help! This isn't normal behavior, this is a dangerous level of compulsive masturbation. This will place you in the psych ward or jail as an adult. You truly NEED to take NoFap seriously for a month at least