How to Get Past Anger/Resentment regarding celibacy/no sex?

A very high proportion of young men today have become Mgtow/Incel whether they realise it or not. It is simply the culture we are living in, particularly in countries like UK, USA. Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Men who grew up before the internet experienced a completely different dynamic with the opposite gender. NoFap or SR is a good remedy although anyone getting on the bandwagon because they see it as a way to become a chick magnet, is doing it for the wrong reason and will soon be found out. There is science to it. Here is cool new series of videos explaining the concept.

Neurological Effects of Semen Retention (youtube.com)

 

A key part of your problem is that you feel a lack of control in your life, and that you allow yourself to believe that your happiness depends solely (or mostly)bon how other people (in this case women) treat you.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...o7QBegQICRAG&usg=AOvVaw3ZtZFogy-hbNfB-KX_EvG9

 

I'm glad you found that helpful. Also, I'd recommend making a conscious effort to not take things personally (it's a lot harder than it seems).

I found a small tutorial on YouTube about how to not take things personally that has helped me a lot. It has especially helped me in overcoming my resentment towards girls who would reject me and feelings of self doubt, self pity, and self hatred when faced with rejection.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LnJwH_PZXnM&ved=2ahUKEwjv9LuYgq6DAxUxsTEKHd0HBBIQo7QBegQIDBAG&usg=AOvVaw0DuV1WfuYaklNlCY_kq8ul

 

Bro, channel that anger towards improving your life for yourself.

 

It's very tempting but not very productive blaming the "non humans who control this world" and wallowing in self pity instead of taking responsibility, taking ownership of one's problems, and working to find solutions.

 

I see them extraterrestrials got your head fucked up either that or you're an agent. You shouldn't speak on things you don't know. You don't know me or my situation your just ASSUMING shit. They control the system aka money they control what you eat and even indoctrinated you with the so called bible. You cant win a system they build. Humans aren't as smart as what you think.

So what solutions do you think that I should find professor? Listened to you chumps for 10 years still hasnt gotten me to where I need to be it sure hasn't gotten me any luck

 

You insulted me a couple times in your post. However, thanks to some skills I learned recently, I didn't (and I won't) take what you said personally.

I understand how it feels to be unloved, and, owing to the fact that companionship is a human need, I can understand why it's easy to feel entitled to the love and affection of women around you. I understand why you may feel resentment and self pity when faced with rejection. I also understand why someone who has never had a relationship might have the illusion that by getting a girlfriend, all of their depression and problems will be solved. I understand these things because I've been romantically unloved for almost all my life. However, after getting into self improvement a few months ago, I began attracting girls. Once you get on the other side of your anger, and genuinely consider the perspective of the girls who reject you, you'll realize that they are not doing it out of spite or out of a desire to deprive you of your need for companionship. They (just like you) have their own valid reasons to like or not like someone, and you'll realize that you shouldn't take it personally if someone (or even everyone) doesn't like you right now. (Usually, when a girl rejects you, it's because she thinks you'd not be a good match, and she thinks she'll hurt you less by rejecting you right away than by leading you on and breaking up with you later.) Attracting romantic partners is a skill that takes effort and practice to learn, but isn't impossible.

I'm an agnostic/atheist, and I don't believe in the Bible. But anyhow, I wanted to ask a few questions:

Who specifically do you want to be seen or heard by that you feel the need to act violently to attract their attention? You've managed to attract the attention of several people by posting on this forum without any violence at all. Is attracting attention by nonviolent means not good enough for you? Who do you want to commit acts of violence against? Do you think it's a good thing to physically hurt other people? How do you think they would feel? Isn't the right to physical safety something everyone is entitled to, and even more important than the need for companionship?

When you talk about extraterrestrials, are you referring to them literally or metaphorically? If you think that extraterrestrials from other planets exist in the literal sense, and believe that they control the world, it's possible you might be suffering from schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. I'm not saying this in a judgmental or derogatory way.

 

When I said chumps I wasn't referring to you directly, It was more of a jab towards the redpill community. So I apologize it was misinterpreted that way.

I'm not getting what so what am I suppose to do? I've cultivated my energy into more productive things but at the end of the day I want to MATE. I miss being inside of a woman an pulling her hair, I the simple things like talking dirty talk Powers that be want you to be hooked on porn/social media. No not me I refuse to subscribed to some scallywags OF or follow her on some type of social media platform. not gonna sit up here go sexless for the rest of my life while only a select few is getting the goods I got tired of watching some other dudes smash chicks when that could of been me. It emasculated me and made me not believe in my own abilities. That's the type of shit that makes me violent and want to fight.

Keep thinking they don't exist. Let me ask you this question who build a pyramid or put satellites in the sky? It sure as hell wasn't no humans.

 

I'm getting in on these threads a little late, but I wanted to add perspective from an older, married man. I've been married for 28 years. Sex was good, but even in those first years, I struggled with porn while having sex multiple times a week. After raising kids and and now menopause sex is painful to her. I'm still in really good physical shape, work out all the time and am still horny enough to use porn and masturbation multiple times a day if I relapse. When she became unavailable to me because it's too painful, or if I was on a business trip or she was out of town, I felt entitled to act out. The lie is, "you are a man with physical needs, who needs to ejaculate." This made it impossible for me to abstain when alone and pretty much trapped me into habitual porn use. When I found nofap, I had hope again that I could abstain, and have benefits in self-confidence, testosterone, and self-esteem, by building my self control and learning to retain my semen. I had known this in the past, but had forgotten this as societal norms made porn normal.

The truth is, no one (even my wife) owes me sex. As men, our sexual desires will always surpass what is availably to us. Our fetishes, porn use, and societal norms have warped sex for us and turned it into all encompassing idol and identity. Our identity as men, needs to be at a minimal our control of our selves, our passions, emotions, desires. Any man can learn to live without sex and masturbation. No matter how old you are, you can and must use those passions to do what men do: create, provide, protect, build, and lead. In doing those things, we find purpose and fulfillment as men.

 

No, it is not true of all women. My wife does have a special condition, but in general women are not able to get wet on their own during sex. Lube works for most, and maybe if I was a more attentive partner and not in my own little fantasy world, that would help.

 

I'm not in the Redpill community, which I consider to be somewhat sexist because it portrays women as stupid "creatures" rather than actual people. The Redpill community makes it seem like there's some sort of "easy formula" for getting women - i.e. that getting jacked and rich is enough to get a girlfriend. In reality, women are humans whose psychology is no less complicated than that of men, and while being a physically fit, wealthy, goal-oriented person certainly isn't bad for getting girls, there are more nuances than that.

There's a saying that I heard that says:

"The first thing you must do if you realize that you're in a hole is to stop digging, and the second thing you must do is to realize that, even though you stopped digging, you're still in a hole."

It isn't very easy for me to give you precise correct advice on how to climb out of the hole you're in. However, before you start to climb out, you need to stop digging. I suggest you stop indulging in the Blackpill mentality of being the victim and take extreme ownership of everything in your life. Only after that, you'll want to start taking other steps to dig yourself out of the hole you're in and meet people (join social clubs, listen to advice from pickup artists, go to the gym, etc.).

Good.

Throughout history, there have always been winners and there have always been losers. During any period, there have always been women and men who couldn't find a mate. There will always be those who lose, but the winners here aren't the "select few," they're the majority of men and women. This reminds me of another quote.

"Losers love to complain about how they never win. Losers talk about how much they hate to lose. Losers talk about how much they want to win. Winners, on the other hand, do whatever the f*ck it takes - and that means outcompeting the next guy."

Violence will get you nowhere. At the end of the day, if you choose to act violently, you'll just be throwing an adult temper tantrum - which will bring you and those around you nothing positive. On the contrary, it will just bring more pain to the world.

The first pyramid was designed as a burial site for an Egyptian king named Djoser, by an architect named Imhotep. Before the building of King Djoser's Pyramid, most noble people in Egypt commissioned these large slabs of stone/brick known as "mastabas" on top of their tombs. Imhotep's idea was to stack several mastabas on top of each other to make a Pyramid. Over the centuries, architects and laborers took existing models of pyramids and improved them.

Satellites and space travel are a feat of human engineering that was achieved after centuries of study of physics by the human race. Just like the pyramids, they were not an "impossible" achievement for mankind.

I suggest you talk to a counselor to get screened for schizoaffective disorder.

I wanted to end this message by saying that I wish you the best. I understand your pain and I'm worried that you might take the wrong path - the path of self-harm or violence. I urge you - if you ever feel the desire to hurt yourself or others, and think you might act on it, please dial 988. It will take several minutes for them to pick up the phone (because they, unfortunately, tend to be short-staffed), but you should still do it.

 

Have peace in you heart. Don't think you're the center of the universe (you're not). Love, romance and the other aspects of a relationship are way better and more important than just sex, you don't need it to be cool... Respect women at all costs, all women, including your mom, your sister, your coworkers, etc... Don't fear women, they're equal us, human beings. Sex isn't everything, you can have friendships with women too. And, learn to control yourself, your passions and desires

 

Can absolutely relate to OP and the others on here saying that a lack of romantic and sexual companionship is enough to make you very angry. It certainly makes me angry sometimes. I've spent my entire life so far without it, to the point where it almost feels like it's not even real, like I imagined it. People who regularly go on dates and have sex and relationships may as well be aliens to me.

Now maybe this is a controversial take, but being frustrated over not having sex is normal. Having sex is literally the reason you exist as a man and there's no amount of post-modern cope that makes it not so. Humans are not solitary creatures, the desire to belong, the desire to love and be loved is ingrained into our DNA. Now of course you don't NEED sex. You won't die if you don't have it. Just like you won't die if you don't have a wife and children. But it's hard to shut yourself off from wanting those things. Hard to make yourself stop caring.

So, I advise that you don't. Figure out how to harness that masculine energy and channel it into something productive. That's what the all-time greats of history did. Be it sportsmen or scientists or leaders of nations. When I get horny, and I mean really horny, not just urged to watch porn, I turn into a completely different person. I have less patience with people. I feel restless. There's energy in my body just trying to get out. It's both awful and wonderful. But you know what it's better than? Being a porn-addled husk of a man.