Hypnosis really hurt me.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Nameste, Aug 13, 2017.

  1. Tonight, obeying a sudden urge to find some filthy Sissy Hypno videos, (afterwards) I stumbled across this NoFap site. Thank God I did. I felt like quitting my job today and giving up on life, but I couldn't work out why I would feel that way. Now I understand. I've been caught in a horrible trap for the past four to five years! I abstain for a while, but sooner or later I'm back letting these files fry my brain. So I like knickers (panties). When my wife left me I saw no reason not to enjoy buying and wearing my own every day. I'm fine with that choice. Then I discovered panty related hypnosis on the internet which I enjoyed. It was harmless enough on it's own I think. Soon suggestions to watch more similar videos seemed inviting and harmless. I ended up buying around 800 pairs of knickers, some sleepwear, then makeup, perfume, and actually going to work like that! I saw two counsellors at some expense. Still, I paid a facial feminisation surgeon for a consultation! I never proceeded, but instead bought feminising hormones, but never took more than a few. I am straight but ended up sending a picture of myself wearing knickers to a gay friend I used to know. It got a bit worse than that. I terrified myself. Every now and then I would wake up enough to realise what I was doing. I would feel anxious, took time off work, antidepressants. Arousal was enough to take me back for more hypnosis. I have found that after a few weeks of abstention the compulsions start to decrease quite well. However, I justified feminising my mind rather than my body, as a legitimate way to comfort my emotions and loneliness. It doesn't work. These videos make you want to change gender, have gay sex, and more. I didn't
    realise how sick I'd become until I wrote this. I know 12 Step programme, so I already know that sharing together in recover works. Thank you all for being there for me, and I hope you find the peace and freedom you deserve. Nameste.
     
  2. Good honesty. Did you find the PMO counter? :)
     
  3. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  4. Thanks, I will have a look. Abstained so far, but the temptation is sometimes there.
     
  5. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

  6. Well, no porn for a start. Also, being careful what I think about. Sharing on Nofap so I don't forget how serious this is.
     
  7. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

  8. Roycroppa

    Roycroppa Fapstronaut

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    Wow, what a story! I’d love to have a friend who I could have sent pics of me in knickers to. And well done keep up the good work
     

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