I’m so confused!!!

I understand. I’m married and got hooked on gay porn. Haven’t seen porn for two weeks. But I started prostate milking. Need to stop

 

I can't relate to being aroused by gay porn, however I can relate to the desire to seek else where for a "high". The endorphin kick we get from an orgasm is an addicting feeling, and porn, just like drugs, gets old after a while, so we move onto something different. Maybe gay porn is just what works right now? Maybe you are closeted and like dudes. Either is cool. If you feel like something is wrong with you, ask yourself why? What is it about being aroused by the pictures is upsetting to you? If you feel you were raped, then you need to go to the authorities man. If you are struggling with HOCD, perhaps look into cognitive behavioral therapy as a means of coping with some of the symptoms that may be holding you back, I struggle with retro active jealousy which is similar to HOCD. That feeling is fucking terrible but i've found CBT and Mindfulness to be very helpful.

 

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/exposure-therapy-hocd

Here's the quickest summary of what I got from reading the YBOP discussed in the link above:


As I understand it, what this article says is that when you stop porn, which you have to do, the intrusive thoughts will get worse before they get better. You must not give them importance. You must not test yourself or otherwise seek relief. You must simply acknowledge that the thoughts are there, but do something else. Eventually the thoughts lose their power.This is my understanding from reading that article.