I am an addict, and this is my trip.

Day 8 - A week.
A week is important to step by step recovery confidence in myself. All this week I felt peaceful, calm, it's a nice feeling, really worth.
Last week I have token some steps to help in my nofop trip, It's the unique way to complete this change, don't let anything advantage to urges and pornography. I had been concentrate in myself and my process to recovery and it functions.
Thus new week are going to same important to continue with this fight and to mix with work/study hard and other things. I feel really nice, I want to continue feel in this form, and only depend from my.
With discipline, the steps are higher each day.

 

Day 9
Yesterday was a great great great day, besides to keep strong withouth urges or nothing, and keep in calm, I had a talk with someone really important in my life, she was my girlfriend, but in spite of time, I like her still and she is really important to me, like a friend, obviously. I appreciate too much her because I learnt many many thing with her, and she try to became me a best person every day. Yesterday we talked some hours, and was a great moment, she feels me very well, she is a amazing person.
My addiction born years ago, and then she arrived to my life, in that time, I decrease my problem,but unfortunately I didn't valorate her like she deserve, for other facts we finished, and some time ago I hadn't sit wit she to talk.
I tell it for two reasons, first, because she was and still is very important for me, and second, to take her like a motivation, I am not really interested to bring together with her, but she have a soul that can motivate me to keep strong in this fight, she can extract the best to me, before like a girlfriend and now like a person, I told her about this trip, I didn't tell about pmo exactly, but I tell about my intention to change many things in my life, obviously she support me.
I am happy to reach 9 days, I am happy to feel me each day better and I am happy to met you yesterday. Now I only have and want to pursue this dream to change and make it reality.

 

Day 10
Day 10 was a normal and currently day, with some tasks and class at university, and I felt few sick in the night, for that reason I couldn't write lastnight. The only point to emphasize is the fact that I had two or three badthoughts, fast and simples, but it worry to me, I don't like it in my head, I suppose that I am going to star to have badthoughts or similars, to the time without pmo, and I don't like it, I have to find the way to avoid this thinks and keep calm and free, for the moment I am going to try to not stay alone in home, less with computer or ccellphone, that implicates can't study at nights, tha's bad because alter my study, but doesn't matter, I don't like after be reproach me and lose this time.
I hope be enoguh strong to keep free, I hope change my mind and beat pradigms!

 

Day 11-12-13
These days had been great, I had been busy and productive in some aspects of the life, I felt fine and energy was on my body and mind. I think that I can say that I feel better than before to start nofap challenge, in spite of relapses, this journey had helped me to focus, and be aware to the change that I want in my life.

 

Day 15
These days had been fine, I had been studying, resting and working. Generally I feel calm and quiet, without badthoughts or similars. Only yesterday and tuesday I had to study in home and I was nervious to relapse or see pornography, I thought in that, I accept, fortunately I aske help to one group of AP and I could control myself and finally I didn't do it. Right now I am in my day 18, that's make me feel happy.
I have to accept that the I haven't feel a clear change in my confidence and social anxiety, but I am aware that this is not fast and I am only in day 18, besides this changes are really worth and anything worth come easy and fast, so I am going to wait, but keep working, keep fighting keep strong and step by step go out to confort zone.
If you want change something, nobody different from you and only you can make it possible.

 

Day 22 and ...
I am going to tell about my 22 day, it was a amazing number for me, It was the longest period without PMO since I count it. I felt happy and I perceive a little more confident with myself and others. I didn't see anything, and didn't have badthoughts or similars, It is amazing for me and make me happy. Get a little more confident It's a nice sensation, you feel a good vibrate. All these day I had been wise with my actions and to try avoid triggers, thta's the clue to reach this amount of days.
Relapse
Yes, unfortunately I fell myself again, and again with webcams, it's the devil for me, when I enter there I can't go out free, that's the fact enter there, in that moment, I had lost control of my mind, and in spite of I am aware the damage in my brain, confident, peace, mentality, If I enter, I relapse. Yesterday I spent two hours in webcams, the worst of all is that I had many moments, interruptions to stop and don't relapse, but not, I am masochistic and right now feel like a garbage.
Again I relapse today, two times. That's my present fear, relapse tomorrow and these days, I am really weak and whatever chance I can get to enter in that pages. For me will be a gain resist tomorrow and day after tomorrow I don't like relapse more and throw the work, I am still decided change, and while I have this stay in my brain, I am not going to give up.
Change the air depend myself.

 

Yesterday was a strong day, I waste all the morning in home and in the afternoon the same, but in the afternoon I was alone, in the computer and nothing impede me to fall. Unfortunately, I entered in webcam's page and spent around 1 hour saw it. I was really near to relapse in MO, but suddenly, like an angel, one friend, really beautiful, wrote me, and without intention, she made that I stopped to see this and go out, calm returned to me.
It was an important moment, but I have to avoid this situations, more conscience.

 

Deception
Last month and the firsts days of this month have been really hard, many situations have happened. The focus of whole is that I continued in the same fool way, fell and fell, trick me, thinking that I can control after see pornography and other lies that not even me believe.
I feel disappointing because each time, each day I fell me more and more. I have many dreams and I know that I can change my life for better, it's possible, success stories have many many examples, but I don't know, until today I can't reach it.
I continue wish the change, I don't think in give up, other persons have really problems and my problem ok is important, but is not terrible, if other persons have with their terrible problems I can with this. I have to find reasons, motivation is clue, but the most important reason is ME, nobody more, for me, my family, my future and the form like other people see me.
In this moment is really hard, trust me, really hard spend a week without PMO, the worst is that each time the enjoy's time is less and less, so I have to search other kinds to fill my desires. WEBCAMS ARE THE DEVIL FOR ME, webcams pass in my head, and unconsciously I finish there, see girls touch and then masturbation. Since I know about it, my situatios with the PMO are worst, really worst.
My inmediately goal is write here tomorrow, free, clean, I hope reach it.
One day is worth in this times, one day can be the start to a big storie.

 

Day one
Starting again, one day completed, free, clean; I continue seeking reasons, motives to keep fighting against que worst evil in my short life. The problem have realtion with the university, when I have to study and I am late with tasks and homeworks, I feel stressed, and I don't know why or how, I finished in webpages of pornography, lasts days in webcams, that's worse.
Everyday, today, tomorrow, we have other chance to change, I hope use it.

 

Day two
I have completed two nice days, full of tasks I have passed busy these days and I feel fine right now, tomorrow and weekend will be clue in this fight, but I feel really nice to confront it.
Keep calm but working hard.

 

Day three
Three days completed, without badthoughts or urges, only calm and nice sensation; this is fine. The idea is try to be very busy to not think or digress, and I have many tasks so I hope concentrate in that important things and forget those practices.
I feel and I know that I CAN, that's keep me fight.

 

Day four
Yesterday, one more day, I feel nice nice, each day it's like a trophy to me, because it's a sample that I can, because I know that I can, control it, beat it, and leave it. I only want the chance to show me all my potential and be a better persona for my world and this world, to feel me rewarded, full and in peace.
Each day the feelings are better.

 

@YorkGO Hey men, I am really gratefull with your words, thanks to take time to read me and give me your support and help. That's words transfer me energy to continue and keep trying. I think that I am not try all methods, I think that I am going to put alarms as you say, maybe can function. Again thanks and I send you all energy to you keep in your way, GO!

 

Day five
Five days and I am very happy, each day I feel more energy and more motivated. The idea is zero pornography, I know that it's the worst trigger to me and I can't let any moment of weakness, not yet.
I want to reach tuesday free, in my country tomorrow is holiday and this can't help me, because I am going to be in home, maybe in the computer, and these conditions are unfavorable to my objetives. I need strong to this night and tomorrow.
Only think in the target, there, the feelings must be incredible!

 

Day six
I feel better each day, my brain and my mind is clean and I haven't have urges until now, this page is ideal to us, opportunity to vent our feelings and thoughts, besides see other stories and how people like me can support this addiction, and many other things, make nofap a fundamental tool is this fight. Unfortunately, when I am in home, sometimes I prefer no study instead of continue studying, because I study in the pc and the risk to enter in badpages is latent, that's a big problem that I have to resolve, but right now I prefer care me and keep clean.
Someone said: You have way more control than you think, I hope it's true.

 

Day seven
One week completed, maybe can be few days ... in my case, to my present, is an important amount of days with my brain and mind clean, and by small steps recovering confidence, attitude and improve like a person.
Inmediately goal, reach thursday and then saturday and the monday free, small goals but attainable; sound easy and near, but I have to be strong to complete it.
I have lost too much, but I am aware and I know that I can get much more.

 

Day eight
I continue fine and in calm, without urges, bad thoughts or similars. I try to avoid it or ignore it. I think that sometimes social pages are bad for this journey, nofap, because there is common see explicit content, without filter, maybe it can trigger a amount of thoughts and others, that develop in pornography and finish in masturbation; I would like to.decrease my time in social pages, I think that it can help.
Today, also, I noticed that despite my addition is very hard, it is smaller than other problems, even in my home. So, I have to overcome it and help other with their problems, less selfish.
Tired for the same? Try change!

 

Day nine
Thursday, so, I have reached the first small goal of this week and that make me very happy, I continue feel calm, and you only get that sensation when you act in the right form. Today, I learnt some tips to manage the time, this is very important in my change life's procces, and indirectly influence in my journey against PMO.
It's near to midnght, to reach 10 days, double digit, other important achievement; these smalls win battles are very useful because it can recharge me to go more hungry.
Stay hungry, stay foolish.