I just lost my virginity to a hooker

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by FreeMyWilly, Oct 27, 2016.

  1. FreeMyWilly

    FreeMyWilly Fapstronaut

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    I'm confused because it didn't feel as good as I expected when it went in. I enjoyed it a lot tho, a little too much. Maybe because I was drunk. Weird thing is I think I enjoyed being with the women and hearing her moan than the actually penetration. I definitely have more lust now. My boner won't go away. I want to go again really bad or get a gf asap. I'm glad and disappointed at the same time. I loved it but at the same time it was like it never happened. I guess that's just the result of meaningless sex. Just wanted to get this off my chest.
     
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  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Dude, slow down! Work on yourself first. Unfortunately you went from a virgin, which is something to be proud of to just another guy.
    It didn't mean much to you because she meant nothing to you. Do yourself a favor and don't be in such a rush to have sex. Losing your virginity is not impressive anymore, being a better man is.
     
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  3. FreeMyWilly

    FreeMyWilly Fapstronaut

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    I wasn't proud of being a virgin. I'm 27. Every time someone asks me about girls/sex, I just answer with "yep" or nod my head because I don't know what to say. Every time I touch a girl my reflexes kick in and I back away. I worked hard for a year on improving my self and I even moved to a different country. Got rejected by a girl and the following day she went on a date with another man. That made me feel like I'm not a man. I was just tired of being a virgin boy. I know I have self-esteem issues. I had to see if I even had what it took to perform... which I did and that gave me some reassurance. I have no regrets. I'm still the same person but now I'm confident that I can actually please a women in bed. Down the road, when I do get a girlfriend, maybe I'll have a bit more passion than hesitation. The only problem is, I'm getting the urge to go again.
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2016
    Maddey likes this.
  4. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    This isn't weird. Real sex is something you experience with your full body, with all your senses, and, ideally, with a deep and intimate emotional connection that makes you able to really feel into the other person. The most intense arousement can be very subtle, it can be a breath towards your cheek. When you masturbate, it's only you and your dick.

    That's because you are so conditioned on being alone with your... well... saying it once is enough.
     
  5. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    One day you will realize that the rejections had nothing to do with your virginity and everything to with your self esteem. You build your self esteem by working and improving you.

    And as far as knowing you can please a woman in bed, well, pleasing a woman when her job is to give you what paid for is different than one who loves you for you. You pleased you. Women often fake orgasms. Since she was a prostitute, it was her job to make you think it was the best sex she ever had or to make you think she enjoyed it whether she liked it or not. You didn't do you or her any favors.

    Please, do not continue to go down this dark road of going prostitutes. Going to prostitutes has the effect as looking at porn, it creates a false reality that women are objects whose purpose is to provide pleasure to you. You will not be the sort of man a woman will want, just the opposite.
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2016
  6. FreeMyWilly

    FreeMyWilly Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you. I felt that being a 27 year old virgin was part of the problem of my low self esteem. I don't feel anymore confident in talking to girls. Increasing self esteem takes work, building relationships and making people truly care about you for what you are. I'm in a new country and feel really lonely. I made a ton of friends but all I really want is a girlfriend. The past year, I worked really hard on my self and I have absolutely changed for the better but I still feel worthless cause no girl has ever showed an interest in me. I went out of desperation and frustration. I have no regrets. But I agree this not the path to go on.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  7. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    When you change how you see you, not only girls but everyone else will see you differently as well. When your self esteem is low, the way you walk, stand and generally carry yourself is different and when you are confident. Women definitely see that! I would suggest you make that the first and last time seeing a prostitute. There's not much more unattractive to most women than knowing that a guy has been with prostitutes.
     
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  8. Den24

    Den24 Fapstronaut

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    Those are the brilliant words! Being a better man is what one should pursue. And becoming better only happens from within, not from outside.

    No outer adjustments, even if induces by you, can change what is inside unless you change your own internal point of view on yourself for the matter. Indeed, the problem is the low self-esteem, not the lost virginity. The loss that would influence your self-esteem for the better is the loss of PMO habit.

    Thanks for sharing your story @FreeMyWilly By this you show your readiness to hear and accept thoughts of others.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  9. How much $ did you spent for your professional moaner?
     
  10. Phenom1415

    Phenom1415 Fapstronaut

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    How is nofap working out for you? What was your streak at the time you went to the prostitute?
     
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  11. FreeMyWilly

    FreeMyWilly Fapstronaut

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    Nofap is great. My social anxiety is almost gone. Hard to say if nofap is the main reason cause I did a lot of things. But I have no doubt it has helped tremedously. I was like 4 months into it.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  12. Phenom1415

    Phenom1415 Fapstronaut

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    Ok cool, do you think maybe sexual frustration had something to do with you making the decision to go? Because personally I find that working out can get rid of that tension when I'm doing nofap.
     
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  13. FreeMyWilly

    FreeMyWilly Fapstronaut

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    I worked out for about 8 months before moving. Since moving to a different country, I haven't worked out properly for about a month because I didn't find a permanent location yet. I think the tipping point was when the girl rejected me. It was the first time I asked a girl out. I wasn't depressed but my pride took a hit. I felt small. Made me realize, I probably can't get a gf any time soon. So I was just like fk it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2016
  14. ujjing

    ujjing Fapstronaut

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    "Man is known for bravery, not for his sex"...
    When it comes to life, its life only not business or similar type of stuff that you are searching for profit, loss,meaning, etc.
    Don't get so desperate, else you will end up with a wrong girl in relationship for which you will have only regrets...
    If you hear her moan and even feel that moan, and enjoy that moan, I don't think you were so much drunk, as you are now a man, don't see your relationship just as a sexual tool, else you will turn to sex-addict, better try to change yourself to a responsible citizen rather than a 27 year man googling world for sex....
     
  15. JimSwe

    JimSwe Fapstronaut

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    Hi!
    I made just about the same "mistake". (I don't mean you made one, but it Can feel like that).
    I was 29 and still a virgin. The paygirl was about my age and good looking, "the nice girl next door". A little chubby in a cute way.
    15 minutes and there it went, that virginity. I felt empty in several ways, but mostly I think it was because I wanted the Girlfriend Experience feeling. I wanted her to care, that gentle touch, talk afterwards, kisses or just a honest tender hug had made that moment for me. Sexually it was good, just as you experience. I think you will find a girlfriend soon. I have been burnt twice because I jumped right in the relationship too early, longing for someone to love me, but got more problems than love.
    Just be the one you are, and if she turns you away...the bad is on her, but You are still the same man. There's always a nice duck in the pond that wants your bread. Finally at the age of 37 I have learned that one can learn how to f**k, but not how to love. Good luck with love and noFap:)
     
    D . J . likes this.
  16. LetsGetBigGODDAMMIT

    LetsGetBigGODDAMMIT Fapstronaut

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    what a pathetic thing to say

    @OP congrats man, now do yourself a favour and learn impulse control otherwise you'll just transfel addictions. Going to hookers is definatly not anything like watching porn, its real and you dont have 100000000s of them in front of you to choose from. As long as you dont go more that 2x a month or so you should be fine.
     
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  17. Lone_Wolf

    Lone_Wolf Fapstronaut

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    I disagree. There have been times I've had high self-esteem and the result was all the same. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you have the Brad Pitt looks, on the other hand, esteem issues are irrelevant in the other direction. Girls will throw themselves at you just by virtue of looks. Ultimately that's what it's all about. If they find your exterior "cute", you're in. If not, you're fucked.
     
    AndySky180 likes this.
  18. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    That would depend on the women you seek.
     
  19. Lone_Wolf

    Lone_Wolf Fapstronaut

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    Sure it would...
     
  20. Dziki007

    Dziki007 Fapstronaut

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    I noticed when i was chronically masturbating and watching porn i used to think about prostitutes much often, on 3 week streak that thoughts are gone. Its not worth it man, once to lose virginity is okey but dont do it again.
     
    D . J . likes this.

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