I just lost my virginity to a hooker

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by FreeMyWilly, Oct 27, 2016.

  1. NFjourney2016

    NFjourney2016 Fapstronaut

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    Hmm.. as a guy who was with a girl for 5 years.. didnt even get to any base because she wanted to wait for marriage.. well.. I dont want a girlfriend for sex. Like seriously. Thats something I would consider a bonus.

    Like.. I know the loneliness I feel is more than just desire for sex. I know what I want is the feeling of love. The cuddles, the hugs, the kisses. Someone to hold at night rather than someone to release My sexual energy on. I want a lover in my life.

    P.s - Im 21 and a virgin :)
     
  2. the crow

    the crow Guest

    Don't we all :)
    Thing is: very few are prepared to put anything into it, to maybe get anything out of it.
    But like a garden, like anything, really, every moment you invest, the care you take, the love you share, is what provides, or doesn't provide, the result you get.

    I build things. I've built many things, over the years. But for too many of those years, I always rushed through preparing the foundations, the sooner to get on with the more interesting stuff.
    But when you pay scant attention to the foundation, everything that follows is already on its way to falling down and being wasted.

    Obvious, really, but strangely elusive as a principle.
     
  3. NFjourney2016

    NFjourney2016 Fapstronaut

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    Yes. True indeed. I take enjoyment from the process of making a foundation in love. To me, that part is what matters the most. Lust and fun times come and go. The foundations always stay strong to hold on.
    Foundations ARE what matter. No point building a house that can not stand against a wind.
     
  4. Audere est Facere

    Audere est Facere Fapstronaut

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    hey freemywilly,

    What you described about facing rejection. Do you ever wonder if you are taking rejection to harshly?

    She's not the only girl in the world. If you don't attach yourself to one particular person, then you can work your way from girl to another without too much difficulty.

    I think being ready to be rejected is such an important part of the equation because it allows you to be bold and make more moves.

    If you're putting all your eggs in one basket, then when that basket falls, of course it will hurt.

    I only say this to you because I feel like I have felt what you felt at some point, but to mention that you are not a man merely because ONE GIRL rejected you is too strong of a feeling.

    Please understand that the more play the more you'll win. And if you can accept rejection, then you can accept acceptance.

    Another piece of advice is using a euphemism like "refusal". She is simply refusing, and at some point you can refuse a girl too..

    Hope this helps, but at this point, I am so ready for refusal, that I almost feel like the picture is incomplete if you don't face it!
    :)

    It should strengthen you and don't dwell too much on one refusal!
     
  5. Merlionno

    Merlionno Guest

    So relatable
     
    NFjourney2016 likes this.
  6. Mattsfreedom

    Mattsfreedom Fapstronaut

    I did the same thing. You're not alone. I know what you mean the emptiness feeling. Its bizarre now that I look back felt the same with every hooker. I think its because you simply don't know them and it's unnatural. Most importantly you realize what you thought was a big deal never was. You need someone to talk to about feel free to message me. I been there.
     
  7. kittycaptain

    kittycaptain Fapstronaut

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    I kind of know how you feel, I'm 29 and I basically got emotionally manipulated into losing my virginity two years ago, and it SUCKS. It was definitely not what I was hoping for... I feel just desperate to find someone to be in a relationship with, so I know there's at least a chance I might someday have sex with someone that actually cares about me, and I'm actually attracted to.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  8. Max L.

    Max L. Guest

    I'm 36 and still virgin. I often think about hookers and had many occasions but I never take the step. I always said to me that if I wait that long I could wait again to share my first time with someone meaning to me and I was to much uncomfortable with the situation. Your post confirm that I'm right to wait. So I don't know what to say about the fact you get so horny, I just can show compassion and hope you find a way to get down. I think other members gave you good advices.
     
  9. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    When I was 17, I always thought hookers were disgusting and would never use one. Porn gradually wore down my defences and I have seen many, in different forms at massage parlours, "swingers parties" etc. I learned that this was not what I wanted, but I was addicted to it and it was very difficult to beat the addiction. Now I am 39 and finally getting on top of it. I hope to meet someone to love soon.
     
    HopeFaith, fred2014! and D . J . like this.

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