I keep getting O without use of PM. Is there a way to fix it?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Sleepingbadger, Dec 4, 2019.

  1. Sleepingbadger

    Sleepingbadger Fapstronaut

    113
    1,238
    123
    I've been trying to quit for about two years already and now I'm right back where I started. I managed to quit cold turkey 333 days but then I relapsed because of a really stressful situation and now I'm stuck again around two weeks. I regret that I relapsed after almost a year without any PMO, since I could easily have been free had I not relapsed.

    I relapsed from 333 days streak with only an orgasm. I didn't masturbate, I didn't watch porn and I didn't do anything to stimulate myself. Still there was an orgasm. That's my problem right there. I get extremely aroused and then I get an orgasm after few hours without doing anything to myself, without viewing porn and without fantasizing. All of my relapses from streaks are like this. Maybe it wouldn't be a problem otherwise, but after I get that orgasm, I sometimes fail and look at porn since my brain keeps telling me that I already relapsed and there's nothing to lose, which isn't true at all.

    I can't figure out a way to stop this. I'm confident that If I just could stop that orgasm, which breaks my streaks, from happening, I could easily avoid watching porn. After my 333d streak there haven't been a moment where I would relapse from "x" days streak by masturbating, watching porn or fantasizing. Starting a streak is always hard, but once I get a streak, It's relatively easy to keep myself from watching porn or masturbating. For those I need to take physical action (opening up my browser and search for porn, move my body, etc.), but for orgasms it's different since they don't require any action from me.

    When I've talked about my problem (relapsing to O without PM) I get often told that it really isn't possible or that it's really unusual. I don't know what to do and I don't know the cause. Seems like most of the times high stress levels trigger it, but then again, sometimes there doesn't seem to be a reason for it at all.

    What do you all think? Does anyone have the same problem? Does anyone know any way to fix this? Should I get professional help? I'm not sure if there's something wrong with my body or if It's more of a psychological problem. It's been like this ever since I decided to quit and cut off masturbation and porn, which I did about two years ago. If it's any help, before I quit I used to watch porn and masturbate 1-3 times a day and 5-7 days a week for 5 years.

    If I can't find a fix for this I think I might need to move to no PM category instead of no PMO since this problem makes it really really hard to do no PMO. I'm not even sure how did I manage to get that 333 days streak up back then, since now I seem get O at least every 2 weeks, usually a lot more often.
     
  2. romeolima

    romeolima Fapstronaut

    229
    349
    63
    I'm not sure I've got a comparable experience to what your experiencing with your orgasm. However the key thing here is that your not instigating this, it's just happening to your body, like a wet dream.

    I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, it sounds like you are doing incredibly well in beating your addition.

    If you can just accept that this is something that your body does, we are not inherently designed to be asexual, then hopefully you can avoid that relapse spiral that your experience after it happens.
     
    Sleepingbadger likes this.
  3. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

    295
    349
    63
    This doesn't pass the sniff test...I smell bullshit. You say the orgasm happens after a few hours of arousal without you doing anything. How exactly do you managed to stay aroused for hours on end without doing anything? If I get aroused I have a choice whether to focus on it and continue the arousal or I can do something to get rid of it. What exactly are you doing with yourself during the hours of arousal before the orgasm. Be completely honest - you will never recover without complete honesty.
     
    Sleepingbadger likes this.
  4. Sleepingbadger

    Sleepingbadger Fapstronaut

    113
    1,238
    123
    Always when I get aroused I'll try my best to distract myself with something. Usually this means studying. For example today I tried to kill the urge by watching chemistry lesson over internet, which didn't work out. This time I watched the lesson for about an hour and 15 minutes and then I got an orgasm, while focusing on a chemistry lesson about pH values and buffer solutions. I kept my focus on the chemistry but I still got an orgasm. You have every right not to believe me since I really can't explain why this is happening, since that's what I would like to know. Sometimes I've tried to kill the urge and stop the arousal by going for a run, but even then sometimes really shortly after I stop running the urge comes right back and eventually it leads to an orgasm. I really don't know how to deal with this.

    Back when I quit PMO, I didn't think too much about this. I didn't think it was anything out of ordinary since I was used to doing PMO many times a day and I thought that my body was just used to producing much more semen than needed since I tried to quit cold turkey right from the start. I thought that time would fix this problem. However, now that I recently had almost a year long streak of no PMO and this problem still returned that explanation kind of doesn't work anymore. I didn't really think that it was anything out of ordinary until I shared it here on the forums. I was really confused when nobody could relate to it.
     
  5. geheim

    geheim Fapstronaut

    It's totally bizarre stuff mate. Possibly some demonic shit, or at least something neurological / nervous system, or both.

    A little bit of a leak is normal, and so are wet dreams. Spontaneous orgasms - not normal.
     
    Sleepingbadger likes this.
  6. maximusthegreat

    maximusthegreat Fapstronaut

    18
    11
    3
    I believe that there has to be stimulation in order for the body to be in aroused state be the stimulation physical (like a nice lady in grocery shop) or mental (like fantasizing or recalling past moments of it).
    In my humble opinion what is happening here is that your mind is stimulating itself (that is more probable that some external stimuli, because you would notice that) and you are maybe not aware of that.
    Have you tried meditation before? Maybe you even don’t have to. Just try istead of supressing this arousal by doing other stuff for couple of minutes just sit and try to be aware of what thoughts are popping in your head. Maybe you won’t be able to see it right away and stop so you will end up ejaculating again but I think solving the root cause here is superior to just increment streak counter.
     
    Sleepingbadger likes this.
  7. Sleepingbadger

    Sleepingbadger Fapstronaut

    113
    1,238
    123
    Thank you for the advice! I've not really tried meditation before. Now that I think of it, what you're saying could really make sense. The next time I will try to focus more on my thoughts. In the case there's triggering thoughts in my mind, in what way should I respond to them? Should I just try my hardest to push them off my mind somehow?
     

Share This Page