I am married for 1.5 years and I have a baby. I was a hard-fapper as long as I remember myself. When I was having sex with my wife who, by the way, is beautiful and super hot, also very caring and affectionate, I had to imagine lesbians or other girls to be able to ejaculate. Some days were so awful. I did not get erection so I had to blame it on some bad circumstances like fatigue. Then I would just seclude myself in the dining room, browse some porn, opening them tab by tab and fapping. After having my dose of brain fog, shame and anxiety, I would go and sleep scolding myself for lack of stong will. I never believed that real sex can be so refreshing. When I had artificial sex with my wife, I was getting headache and weakness. Sometimes my wife would feel so bad when craving for sex. So two months ago I decided to take back my life. At that time I started reading ''The Power of Now'' by Tolle. The book really opened my eyes wide. I really never adhered to some programs like abstaining myself from fapping for 90 days or some hard mode unfapping periods. I just needed time to pull myself together, to understand that all those fantasies were fake and as a breadwinner I had to be a role model for my daughter. I love her a lot. So I did not masturbate for 30 days. I had many bad moments. I had stormy cravings and my dick was in pain. But I never knocked off my course. Why do that then feel bad? I learnt to face the problems and to solve them. So after 30 days on the day 31 I had sex with my wife at Christmas night. I was like a beast. I never thought sex can be so blissful. So today I had sex again with my wife and it was indescribable. I feel human, I feel good. I feel real....... I won PMO.