Hi gentlemen. I am writing this as a post to commence a journal in my journey and struggle with NoFap. I had previously begun a journal on the main forum but writing for people who didn't really grasp where I came from and my philosophy was less than motivating. I am writing for my Catholic brothers to ask for your prayers, advice and support and also hoping that my journey may be of help to you guys too. It's winter here and my work, being seasonal, isn't as busy as usual. I came home late morning after a few hours work, got some food, lit a candle and prayed the rosary kneeling before my icon. It was an hour or so after that that I came under attack by temptation leading to me downloading the reddit app and indulging my lust. It wasn't as though my rosary was said poorly. In fact, I would say I engaged in saying the rosary to satisfaction. It's an eye opener. No matter how close we are to holiness, temptation and it's master is never far away. Have I become stronger in resisting? Definitely! But I am only human and I'm no match against this thing on my own. All my strength comes from Our Lord. Without him I am weak. I haven't been to confession since I came back to faith (probably 15 years or so) and the call of the confessional is growing stronger and stronger to the point where my priest is literally calling his flock to confession in his homilies each Sunday now. But there's always an excuse. What will he think? The embarassment of going to confession! There's been pornography, masturbation, drugs, one-night-stands and false idols since I've last been! And yet deep down I know it is what must be done. I am growing in strength but my past sins are weighing me down. Please, brothers, pray that I may have the courage to step inside that confessional box. I will pray for you. God bless, Michael
Day 2. Got up and started my day by cleaning my room and completing my reading for my ongoing consecration to St. Joseph of which I only have 2 days left. Today was an easy day as I was busy all day. This evening I went for a music lesson (currently learning the flute) and read some of The Odyssey which I am reading for the first time. I am currently flying through the book which I can rarely say about the books I read. Social media is an awful plague and feeds my lust. Even without PMO, there's ample women to ogle over their social media profiles. This has become an awful habit of mine and I pray that I may have the strength to end this awful vice. I look forward to ending my consecration to St. Joseph over the coming days and finally confessing my sins after this long time. Keep me in your prayers, Michael
Day 4. And on the day where I complete Fr. Calloways consecraction to St. Joseph, I finally get the courage to step into the confessional and make my first confession in bout 15 years. It was a terrible confession on my part. I had forgotten most of how it works but I got the big sins off my chest and I was absolved. On leaving I had tears welling in my eyes. I said my penance in front of the tabernacle and my heart was filled with elation. I was driving home with a smile from ear to ear and kept saying "I can't believe it" and "Thank you, thank you, thank you" out loud. I literally can't remember the last time I felt such elation. I am so thankful to the Lord for lifting this burden from me. I literally feel lighter after this. Please guys go to confession if you haven't in a long time. I had forgotten the greatness of the gifts it brings. I pray that we all may have the courage to step into that confessional regularly. God bless.
Fantastic post, thank you for sharing it. I have read that the desire to cry in such moments of grace is a sign that the Holy Spirit is with you. His love is so overpowering it can bring a grown men to tears. I committed this sin for decades and I hauled my guilt and shame around with me like a boulder on my back. Even after confession, I was reluctant to let go of my guilt because I felt it was an impetus to preventing me from sinning again. I was completely wrong about that. In Bishop Fulton Sheen's words “Before a sin, the devil makes light of it; after the sin, the devil becomes an accuser inciting despair and worse crimes in the guilty. ” Instead of guilt, I have found that the real impetus to ceasing sin is to recall the wonderful feelings of freedom one feels after confession and to hungrily seek that feeling at all times. Congratulations on taking this huge step. I will pray for your continued success. Please pray for me too.
Thank you very much Thank you very much. That's an absolutely beautiful quote from Bishop Sheen. It rings with truth. Last night left me looking forward to my next confession. I pray that I may grow in examining my consciousness and my confessions may improve in quality. Even though yesterday was almost just a verbal vomit of grievous sins, I left there with such delight in my heart following my absolution. Thank you for praying for me. May I continue to make confession a habit in my life and I pray that it may be the same for the rest of you. Will keep you in my prayers.
You helped me on Saturday. I sat reading your post and was reminded how inspiring confession can be. Then it occurred to me that confession was being offered in a nearby parish and I shouldn't pass up the opportunity to receive this sacrament in preparation for Christmas. Your post, prompted me to get going. It is a bit of drive to this parish and on the way, I began examining my conscience. (LOL, when I was regularly committing sins of lust through PMO, composing my confessions took a little less time and thought). Although it is less humiliating to compose a confession without a mortal sin on my soul, I felt no less relief when the priest absolved me and some tears came to my eyes as I said the Act of Contrition while considering that I still had done things which offend Our Lord. The Holy Spirit visited me during Confession and I continued to relish that feeling as I said my penance. We are so privileged to have this sacrament. Thank you for the prompt. May God bless you today and every day.
The Lord works in many ways. The power of prayer amazes me. Please keep me in your prayers as I will pray for you. One thing I really need to learn more about is performing a good examination of conscience. Not only do I want to make confession a routine but I also want to become a good confessor. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. God bless.
Normally, I use a Catholic Examination of Conscience that I found online by googling the topic. In general terms, I understand that one should consider what things present the greatest barriers between ourselves and God. So, first and foremost if their are any mortal sins on our conscience, we should mention them first in confession. A review of the 10 commandments is a good help in this regard. Before I found some success in combatting lust, I always mentioned that one first. It wasn't pleasant but it is important to be honest to truly cleanse our souls. How silly and ironic we are if we don't tell the whole truth in confession. Also, we must remember that priests are humans too and thus we should not go into unnecessary details that could lead them to temptation while still being truthful about what we have done.
