i used to have high energy...

few years ago, i had high energy, big goals, very positive attitude towards life.
i know what to do with my life. i tried but kept failing, that made me depressed. porn and media(youtube,movies,tv shows) became my distraction.

everyday became same. i didnt work toward my goals. free times are spent mindlessly online. i got used to this.
i am still depressed...but this new year i made a resolution to avoid negative self talk. i decided to not think about any of my negative feelings.

i decide to not watch youtube/Movies/Tv shows.

there is some improvements. i unsubbed from depression subreddit.

i used to browse those negative subreddits every single day. its hard..but to this day i avoided all those negative dark places.


stopped binging videos and other media except porn.


so far i fapped three times in first month. i just cant control this.

because of this porn addiction. i have low energy levels.

if i wanted to do something productive, i suddenly lose energy. its kind of hard to explain.

i know this doesnt make sense.. but thats just how i feel. maybe the fear of failure is the reason why i am easily distracted or just lose energy level.

by losing energy level i mean i just want to sleep forever. i dont feel like doing anything. its either porn or sleep.

yes i do feel like opening youtube or netflix but i am pushing myself to not waste another year. i can control this. porn is the problem.