If I lose it all

I don't care anymore.
Yes, I am a narcisst. Yes, I am manipulative. Yes, I have a big heart.
Yes, I cry for stupid shit that shouldn't affect me easily. Yes, I have mountain of emotions that my tear me apart. Yes, I am weak. Yes, I don't care about your feelings.
In my life, everything is about what I care.
So, honestly, fuck you. Fuck you hard.
One day I might be the fucking villain in your eyes who takes up your precious time and energy. That day you can fight me. The whole world can fight me. Until then, I will gather my friends, my trusted comrades and my family. I might go mad from all this. But at least I won't feel like shit the while time. I AM WORTH FIGHTING FOR, YOU STUPID CUNT! AND IF YOU THINK ABOUT HURTING ME THEN UNDERSTAND THAT SECOND YOU THINK YOU CAN HURT ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND DRAG ME TO HELL. THAT YOU ALREADY LOST MY RESPECT AND ARE JUST A SACRIFICE. I WILL CLIMB OUT OF THIS HELL. I WILL GET YOUR NECK INTO MY PALMS AND SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU.
I WILL LOSE EVERYTHING AND ACCEPT MY MISTAKES! I WILL LEARN! I WILL GET STRONGER! I WILL HELP OTHERS! I WILL FIGHT THE RIGHT THINGS! I WILL FIGHT HOPELESSNESS! I WILL FIGHT MY DEPRESSION! IF THE ENEMY INSIDE CANT HURT YOU, THE ENEMY OUTSIDE HAS NO CHANCE!
FUCK YOU!
ALL YOU GET IT MY SILENCE BECAUSE MY anger is for none. All I will give is effort and determination because I know that I am fucking special to myself, to my family, to my friends.