Right now I'm on my 4th day and I have a friend who know my problem and she wants to help me out with my situation. I want to sleep with her so freaking bad but I'm not sure if is a good idea. We tried last Sunday but I never got an erection do to my porn addiction so I decided to look for information regarding my issue and that's when I found this website and to be completely honest I never thought my problem was do too porn and right now I'm doing my best to not fall into that trap again of watching porn or anything that will cost me to masturbates. I do get an erection but it come and goes, but I don't get completely hard. I don't be thinking about sex when I get an erection, it just come naturally, it's a bad habbit of mind. Now my big question is, should I try and sleep with her or keep waiting a little bit longer because it's too early? If I do need to wait, how long should I wait until I have intercourse (sex) with her? Thanks Jose
Wow, you're crazy lucky to have found someone who wants to help you sexually. My guess is to take a few dates or a week or so off and try again with her, but maybe others will know better. Let me know how it goes, i'm curious as to what your results are. It seems like getting benefits from the NoFap program work differently for everyone.
No. First of all, if she is only a friend and the major motivation is to help you then it is kinda charity. I think you could wait to cure PIED, because otherwise you can have problem with sex and gain only traumatic experience. If you consider her as your future girlfriend then invest that time in non-sequal meetings and know her better. On the other hand she can be good as girlfriend, because she will probably not blame you for bad performance, but rather help you foght it. The last thing, having sex can maintain porn-related things in your mind and therefore make reboot harder.
Although it's great you have a friend willing to help you in any way but I would be worried your friend might turn into your new P
Thanks guys I think I'm going to wait a couple of days more before I have sex again because to be completely honest I don't feel completely ready yet, I believe is too soon, even though thinking about it it's affecting me mentally but not in a way of starting watching porn but in a way not able to perform when I get the chance. I look at attractive women to test myself and see if I get an erection but I don't feel anything, so I'm taking it as a sign that I'm ready just yet. I do want to know what is the right amount of days would you guys consider me to wait before I have sex? Thanks
90 should be ok, but don't take for granted that your problems will disappear until then. I also think you shouldn't treat sleeping with girls like a test of yourself or your masculinity. It is not fair for you and them.
Better to wait until you sort out your PIED before you try to have sex. It’s probably going to take more than a few days. Most people including myself are doing a 90 day reboot. In my personal experience my PIED feels more a less cured around day 64. It’s a long time to wait but better than struggling for weeks trying to get it up during sex and having the girl get frustrated because you know you are not ready.
@GaryMayor well said. @Jose16 Abstinence from P and M for a minimum of 90 days and you will see a clear change. This does not come without its own issues, there are frustrations and in my experience uncomfortable erections after the first couple of weeks but it does pass. After the 90 days you are not cured but with healthy sexual behaviours with a partner over time the issues pass. I do find myself not always getting full erections but I fortunately have an understanding SO and there are other things that you can do that do not involve penetration. Please do not enter into an intimate relationship unless you are committed to recovery as it is very damaging to SO's as I have found out with mine. We are working through our issues but they are many and difficult, something I wouldn't wish on anyone. All the best on your journey.
Okay this is getting me too damn worried.. it has been 6th days since my last collapse. And that's when I decided to test myself for 2 weeks without porn or anything that can cause me to think about sex. Since last Sunday I haven't gotten an erection at all. Normally as soon I start looking at a pretty lady I get an erection but throughout this entire week not even once. I do get the temptation but that's the far I can go, no erection whatsoever. Is it because I'm thinking about it too damn much that my brain is completely shutdown when it come to looking at girls walking down the street? I would promise you that if I looked at porn i wouldn't have a problem with the erection but there's no way in hell I'm going back to porn cause it ruined my sex life completely. What you guys think is the problem? Because I'm not eating or sleeping, and my depression is getting worse because that's all I think about. I'm doing whatever it takes to keep my mind busy by reading books and since I leave on my own, instead of going straight home from work, I stay outside walking, going to the park or visiting friends. What seems to be the problem this time? Help please!!! Thanks
Many Many men develop porn induced erectile dysfunction. It’s not permanent but it can take a little while to heal. Visit yourbrainonporn.com. Very good explanations as to why this occurs. Try to keep calm. Having obsessive thoughts about it will just exacerbate the issue.
This is a natural stage of recovery it's called flatlining I went through it for about 2-3 weeks your erections will come back and you reach a new normal
All night long I have been thinking about sex. I didn't sleep that well because all of the wet dreams I've been having through out the night. But not once I thought of watching porn because I'm committed to get rid of porn completely out of my life. But since last night I'm craving for sex and I don't know how to handle it. I spoke with my friend last night to see if she was willing to come over and she said later on today she will be passing by. But at the same time I'm nervous because I'm getting my erection back but not completely. I'm pretty sure I can do one round but not sure if I'm going to be able to continue after that do to my erection problem. I'm not sure if is a good idea or not but I have been looking at her picture and I get an erection right away something I wasn't capable of doing before. I didn't try to M myself while I was looking at her picture but I wanted so badly. All I wanted to see if I get an erection, I'm getting there but not completely. That's what concern me about it. I'm very positive all she want is one round for now until I get my problem fixed but I want to last longer than a round. I haven't had sex in over 15 years and that's why I'm so freaking desperate. Some advice please!! Thanks
Don't rush into it, stick with the program. We all have gone through this and it's shite but it does get better. Build a bond with your friend and if she wants a relationship that's great but if you are going to get over your PIED you have to do a full reset. Let her know this and if she wants to help great bit if you want a healthy sex life you have to do the hard graft.
You should probably refrain from looking at her picture. That's probably activating the P circuits and slowing your recovery.
Stay strong and be open with her. She already knows what you are fighting for and she is willing to help in any way. She will understand. And I'm sure this will strengthen the closeness for you both and when the time does come it will be so much better.
I know you are correct about the situation, but I would like to know why I get an erection as soon I'm speaking to her either by phone or by texting each other? And we just talk about normal stuff, nothing sexual, but my erection only last a couple of minutes, I just want to make that point clear. I will have to wait a couple of months before I decide to sleep with her, even if it killed me. I just need to find a way to keep my mind occupied and not think about sex. I never thought my problem was this damn serious until I started the NOFAP. I swear I was thinking, in 2 weeks tops I should be back to normal, but I was wrong. How can I tell her that we need to wait at least 3 months until we sleep with each other? I'm going crazy!!!
You can still cuddle and engage in bonding behaviors other than edging and O. You might want to minimize the phone and text stuff, and maximize time in person. That way your brain can rewire to having a woman physically there with you. If she is willing to abstain during your hard mode and stick around with you, she would be a rare gem you should hold on to and never let go.
That is my goal, that's the main reason I want to make her feel special cause I want her next to me. I don't know what I would do if I loose her. I'm willing to do anything for her but at the same time I'm scared because 90 days for me is way too long and she have needs just like me and I'm afraid she might start looking elsewhere.
I hope this isn't too triggering, but maybe you can go down on her? That might cause self-control issues, though.
Before we started fulling around I explained my problem that I was having and she ask me if I watch porn and I said yes so she told me I needed to stop watching it for a couple of days and not M at all. So I started doing that but on the day that she was supposed to come over I was getting impatient so I M myself. We didn't know my problem was this severe until last Sunday. We spoke last week on Saturday for she can come over the next day. I was getting anxious, and my hormones was out of control and she never told me she was coming over on Sunday night, I was expecting her at least in morning or early afternoon, so I started M myself multiple times more then 10, I was stopping right before O thinking that would help. She came over late Sunday night but I already knew I wasn't going to be able to perform. We tried but it was impossible. The multiple times that she was coming over before last Sunday I was giving her oral sex but I never had the chance to go any further. Last Sunday I literally started looking for more deep information regarding my issue and it was mindblowing what I read on this website. I said to myself I need help, this is extremely serious. So I decided to go 2 weeks but I think is not going to be enough. But I don't know if I should continue at least going down on her even I don't do anything
