Is Anyone Else Tired of Getting a "Good Streak?"

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Icyweb, Jan 28, 2017.

  1. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

    I know that every day without PMO is still a victory, and I'm not looking to discount my own goals and successes, or those of anyone else, but sometimes I just get disgusted with the complacency I see and feel. It's like we don't care about actually recovering and being free from PMO, so long as we're "making progress." We pat ourselves on the back and say, 'well, I had a good streak that time.' and then we don't do anything different to be better.

    Sorry for the rant; I know I've said stuff like this before. Today is day 7 for me, and lately I've been relapsing every 2-4 days, so when I felt just a small urge this morning, I caught myself counting the days to see if it would be "acceptable" to relapse today. It just frustrates me that all my promises and resolutions crumble so easily, and this post is a way to help strengthen them.
  2. lostandfound

    lostandfound Fapstronaut

    The problem is that it feels so good, your brain doesn't want to not do it. Whenever I get the urge I always stop and count off my fingers out loud to myself the reasons why I want and need to go through with this. If you find yourself asking if you should or not the answer is always no. Have a dialogue ready to recite to yourself of what you hope to accomplish from this. It works most of the time for me. Good luck
    TooMuchTooSoon and Icyweb like this.
  3. Shin Iu

    Shin Iu Fapstronaut

    never test yourself
    never trust your thoughts in front of addiction
  4. I feel you. After joining I relapsed twice pretty quickly and now not wanting to reset again is the biggest thing that stops me. I'm worried I'll reach a point where I'll be like you said, "Well I've gone this far, it's not that big of a problem now and when I restart I'll do even better". :rolleyes: My goal really is to reach my longest streak pre-NoFap. I don't know what that is, but 90 days seems minimum.
    Icyweb likes this.
  5. Buddhabro

    Buddhabro Fapstronaut

    There's good and bad points to your predicament. The bad part is you're only letting yourself down. The good part is you're still free to do whatever you want.
    So feel free to do whatever doesn't lead to you feeling like you've let yourself down. There may be no reward for acting in this way, but sometimes doing the right thing is it's own reward.
  6. Fatsodubmo

    Fatsodubmo Fapstronaut

    I know its a tough pill to swallow, but you have to realize that you will be fighting this addiction for the rest of your life. There will be good streaks and bad streaks, just like everything in life has its ups and downs. This is not to say that we can't beat our addictions, but we will always have times where the compulsion is there. For us "winning" is not giving in to those compulsions to the point that it damages our lives. For a lot of us this means shooting for NEVER looking at porn again. The problem is that very few of us will have the willpower to never ever do it again....thus the lifelong struggle. I find the streaks to be VERY helpful! I learn a lesson from every slip (have yet to have a full on relapse, and still have not looked at porn). One thing I do know for sure is that the physical benefits are 100% real! The psychological benifits have not been as dramatic for me, but they are there, and I imagine they will take longer to materialize for us being that they are not as quantifiable as the physical. Good luck! Keep streaking!
    TooMuchTooSoon and Buddhabro like this.
  7. Shin Iu

    Shin Iu Fapstronaut

  8. dundleup

    dundleup Fapstronaut

    I'm always amazed at how diabolical my own brain can be in its gymnastics to try and get me to give into temptation. I think by observing yourself "counting the days" you've taken an important step, being curious about your brain rather than just beating yourself up for being weak. Personally, when I make those kinds of observations, it helps me to laugh at myself rather than just berate myself, and also recognize the traps my own brain puts me in. I haven't made much progress, but I am finding I'm becoming a little wiser about my brain and my addiction. Hope you feel like it too.
    Buddhabro and Fatsodubmo like this.
  9. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

    Not tired but frustrated. Because recently I rekt a good streak. But in the end of the day you need to make big streaks to recover. Like a bodybuilder needs repititions to make gains.
  10. zathura

    zathura Fapstronaut

    This is where streaks can hurt us. I've seen many posts in my time here of relapses after 90+ days. I've also seen posters get stuck in the addiction cycle after hitting that 90 day milestone. The problem is, as has been stated, nothing changes in recovery after 90 days, or 180 days, or 10 years - it just gets easier over time. There will still be triggers and struggles and inner demons that need to be conquered. I believe many feel that when experiencing a setback after an arbitrary length of days, such as 90, then all progress is lost and now they have to start again. That makes zero sense. How does resetting once in 90 days mean all progress has been lost! That's proof of tremendous progress and victory, but when we have the wrong mindset, then that victory get's obliterated with full on relapses because we're "starting again".

    Counters have their value, but they are just a tool for recovery. Counters are not the recovery. Someone who has 90+ days on their counter can very well not be in recovery, they just haven't PMOd in 90 days. Abstinence does not equal recovery. With that said, in these early stages, getting a solid period of abstinence is critical. Disrupting the addiction cycle is what can get us to the point where we can focus on recovery and not just abstinence. At some point, we have to stop counting the days we haven't PMOd, and start analyzing what steps we are taking to not PMO again. How are we fighting out triggers? What good habits have we adopted to replace the hole that PMO has left? When we succumb to a trigger, what can we do different to have success the next time? These are the hallmarks of recovery.

    As I'm sure you know, there is no "acceptable" relapse for a porn addict. I also don't think a reset due to complacency is a good thing - quite the contrary, but at the same time I don't believe a reset erases all progress and forces us into day 1 of recovery either. For you, you're stuck in the addiction cycle, and that's what you need to break out of in order to focus on your recovery. For me, I'm struggling to get out of my cycle which currently stands at 7-14 days. I'm making progress in spite of previous resets, but I'm at a dangerous point in my recovery. If I continue to reset without getting out of my danger zone, I'm jeopardizing everything I've fought for, but I'm also far enough into my recovery where I'm not just abstaining but actively fighting to develop the habits I need to succeed. You can do this, and you can break the cycle - it's possible for everyone.
    Icyweb, 0fflin3, overclocked and 3 others like this.
  11. Fatsodubmo

    Fatsodubmo Fapstronaut

    What I like about the NoFap Companion app is that it keeps a calander and a graph dating back to when your journey began so you can track your overall progress. For instance, I am on a 7 day streak currently, but it shows both of my resets since day 0, so I can look at it as I have only slipped twice in 66 days! For me, that is a huge accomplishment! I prefer to view it this way instead of thinking Im starting from zero every time.
    Buddhabro and zathura like this.
  12. The days weren't enough
    Buddhabro likes this.
  13. Buddhabro

    Buddhabro Fapstronaut

    The prevailing belief is that only through prolonged cessation of chronic PMO behaviors, can one expect to realize any lasting positive benefits.
    I've experienced as much in my mid twenties by abstaining for approximately 90 days. So, I am hopeful that I can experience a complete recovery from my addiction.
    I think it may help to think of it this way...Imagine you're standing in line for a gift that could change your life and improve it beyond your wildest dreams. There's 90 people in front of you, and if you're patient, in 90 days (or so) you will receive this gift of gifts, that even money can't buy.
    If you step out of line, however, you will have to step to the back of the line. Most people don't have to stop and think about what they would do; most people would try to be patient and hold their place in the queue.
    So my advice is (to myself and others here at nofap) is to "hold the line".
    Be patient and resolute, and don't give up your place. You'll be happy you did.
    At least that's what those who have successfully overcome this addiction report; and I believe it!!!
    Icyweb, overclocked and Fatsodubmo like this.

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