Is My life over?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by fools’end, Sep 20, 2018.

  1. fools’end

    fools’end Fapstronaut

    28
    4
    3
    Yes you are right and yet i dont know why i cant Shake this, i feel like this has triggered something in me. The thing that makes me feel worse is that i ruined My summer Because of paranoia over stds and just not being able to have fun. All i remember from the end of june till now is thinking about this non stop. It wont leave My mind. I dont know what to do. It has affected Every aspect of My life from gym to work to school and i am afraid If this doesnt go away eventuelly it Will affect relationships...
     
  2. litew8

    litew8 Fapstronaut

    40
    61
    18
    On my very first visit to Asia 16 years ago i was traveling with 2 close friends for 1 month. 1 of these friends within the first week ended up having a relationship with ladyboy, i was completely shocked and didnt know how to deal with it at all, but after a few days i just didnt think any different to hanging out with him and his friend. In Asia they see transsexuals as a 3rd race, they are so non judgemental its unbelievable, they could really teach us a thing or two in the west about living with freedom of choice. Transsexuals\Ladyboys are humans and have feelings and try to think of them as just a bit different but still a person with feelings, keep that in your mind.

    Dont let others around you make you punish yourself, its other opinions your worried about i wouldnt be, do whats right for you and dont live with regret. If it was a mistake it had to be made for you to know it, some of us learn the hard way but hey that is living your life to the full for better or worse. In time this will fade away as memory and something you will laugh about im sure, i think you will find most guys in here are a bit risque and most have skeletons in their closet.
     
    Burrich1 likes this.
  3. A346

    A346 Fapstronaut

    41
    20
    8
    I suffer from PSTD and find it strange that people can have these experiences and just shrugg them off. I think that’s the difference. If you’re still ruminating constantly it may be trauma related. Try and find someone to talk to physically as it’ll lift the weight off your shoulders, talking massively helps. And maybe look at some meds which will help slow down the thoughts, balance the chemicals in your brain and give you some breathing space.

    As tough as it is now just keep going because it’ll get a lot easier. Your life is definitely not over, it’s just a purple patch. The most important thing is that you’ve learnt from a mistake. It doesn’t define you. And like most have said here, you’re not alone and you’re not abnormal. People don’t discuss taboo subjects because they are afraid of being judged. If we all wrote down our experiences, shame, guilt and thoughts the world would be a f**ked up place, even more so
     
    SlaveMarkson likes this.
  4. A346

    A346 Fapstronaut

    41
    20
    8
    Oh and also try not to go over the what’s iffs, comparing what could have been. They are all characteristics of depression. I used (and still do a little) look at dates before the event but it doesn’t help whatsoever. It’s about look forward now and not back
     
  5. fools’end

    fools’end Fapstronaut

    28
    4
    3
    Thats what i cant get over, i know these last few months would of been filled with fun Times If i was not feeling this way. Same here i do it automatically, If i check a video on youtube and i see the date is before this event i just wish i could go back to that date. Constantly...
     
  6. fools’end

    fools’end Fapstronaut

    28
    4
    3
    I have started seeing a therapist but it is once a week and sure it feels good to talk about it but for maybe 1 hour then that feeling is gone... I just pray everyday that When i Wake up i Will be back to normal but every morning i Wake up to the realization that i am still stuck. Im so tired mentally from ruminating about this i cant think clearly anymore. I am considering meds but i am scared it wont help. My mind and thought are so constant i dont see How it would...
     
  7. litew8

    litew8 Fapstronaut

    40
    61
    18
    Friend, to me it sounds like you have a heavy depression, repetitive thoughts come as form of psychosis, when your brain chemistry is so out of whack your depression will hook onto any negative thought to keep the cycle going. What you need to do is get that into perspective, easy to say and hard to do been there many times, but let me just say that actually this isnt anything about that act that you carried out, that is the past its gone, its about the chemicals in your brain cycling down and using any negative (in this case this act) to keep the momentum of the cycle going down.

    Take a step back. look at it subjectively and try and put the emotion aside for just a short time to try and get grasp of that even for a few seconds. Even for that fraction of second them thoughts will stop try it and try again until you do it, it will be very hard to start with but this is what you must practice, if it helps right the facts on a peice of paper and the moment the thoughts come back go to read the facts. Dont allow it to take over.

    This is called mindfulness, think of yourself as being two persons one who is outside of your head looking down and watching the one who is sitting there thinking negatively, be aware of your thoughts, watch your thoughts to see it going into automatic mode, when it does questions that thought like it is not your own. Pull your mind back from its grasp. It helps to try and concentrate on something like your heart beat or breathing, its brings you into the very moment, the now and will eventually slow your mind from wandering.

    this is not easy and really takes some effort, but after a few days you will start to get the hang of it like learning any new skill and will become more natural, being self aware of your thoughts its the way to break the repetitive cycle.

    i might also add before you consider meds, i would look at magnesium, magnesium is an NMDA antagonist, glutamate and NMDA are the likely culprits with repetitive thoughts, you can find a special magnesium called Magnesium-L-Threonate this has high affinity for break the brain blood barrier and suppressing the NMDA receptor, its also a cognitive enhancer and will bring your concentration right into the moment, it will stop mind wandering for sure. its brilliant for ADHD, anxiety and depression and is healthy with no side effects.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2018
  8. fools’end

    fools’end Fapstronaut

    28
    4
    3
    T
    Thanks i Will look into that for sure, basically it is so much other stuff in m life that is Making me more anxious like school i have been lying to My parents for a year about going to school m, and after this i just cant cope with stress, or conflict or anything i just get extreme anxiety...
     
  9. You've been ruminating about this for ages and it hasn't helped. Why not officially quit ruminating about it?

    Then whenever a thought about it pops up in your head you can say to yourself, I've quit thinking about that. Similarly, you can interrupt and shut down certain thoughts by saying "Could this thought lead to PMO?" or just ask "Is this bullshit?".
     
  10. fools’end

    fools’end Fapstronaut

    28
    4
    3
    Yes you are right, the thing is, and i know it might not belong on this forum, i was just about to start university this fall and i have been having some other issues at Home Due to quitting My last university 1 year Ago. Had some trouble with the law Due to weed related things and now i was in a place Where all that was over, i was in a good place, relationships at Home were good. But after this i have become depressed/ptsd, so now instead of being in that good place that i have been for the last 6 months just Working out/ Working/ (and now also i would have added going to back to school). Now instead I just Feel so bad and ruminate about How good i would have been right now... So thats why i cant get over it easily...
     
  11. You could try googling "healing code" or "emotional freedom technique". Two different but related techniques. Don't be put off by how weird they might seem.

    I'm reading "Happy" by Derren Brown which is a pretty cool book.
     

Share This Page