Is occasional masturbation (without porn) or visiting sex masseuse better?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by The Circle only has one side, Oct 28, 2019.

  1. The Circle only has one side

    The Circle only has one side New Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I have been off porn for quite a few years, and I have been on periods of few months without masturbation. Sometimes when I relapse into masturbation, it leaves a feeling of dissatisfaction and incompletion. It will sometimes progress to me seeing masseuse that offer hand jobs - normally coinciding with me feeling stressed plus lonely, and not being able to find physical human connection with another female. I can only channel my sex energy/ frustrations/ loneliness so much into activities I love.

    So when the urge comes, should I just stick to masturbation or continue visiting sex massages for that bit of human connection? I do that the most once a month or every few months. I personally stay off prostitutes with real intercourse as I feel the emotional and energy drain after. With these massages, apart from prolonged sensual touch, some of them seem to unlock a lot of energy from the prostate/ penis - those with training in 'lingam massage'. Sometimes I feel shame after visiting them, but also relief and some unblocking of energy.

    Thoughts or advice?

    Thanks
     
    SuperiorMan95 likes this.
  2. romeolima

    romeolima Fapstronaut

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    Masturbation is free, your massage will cost you money, this is detrimental to your financial well being.

    You talk about other activities that you love, do you not meet other people through these activities. You would get a better feeling of well being over a genuine conversation with another women over shared interests than a half arsed hand job in a seedy massage parlour.
     
  3. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    The market for asian happy ending massages are alive and well.
     
    420 mile high likes this.
  4. What is your spiritual status?
    Do you only meet humans of the other sex when paying for it?
    What are your life goals?
     
    GeorgeJetson likes this.
  5. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    My porn and sexual video chat addiction has manifested itself into a Asian massage parlor addiction. As a married man with children, this addiction is more fierce than my porn has ever been. Now I'm in a worse spot at an all time low. I would suggest reconsidering your thoughts of visiting a massage parlor. If you're an addict like me, this will be equally, or more detrimental to your recovery. I'm now back from a long hiatus due to the lows I experienced from my massage parlor addiction. Though I'm grateful to be back, I'm going through feelings of immense pain and guilt related to my actions. I hope you make the right decision my friend.
     
  6. Homelander

    Homelander Fapstronaut

    Why are you not devoting this energy, time and money on finding a real relationship?
    We all need human touch from a woman, so its understandable you like happy endings but its not what you are missing in your life right now.
     
  7. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    There are lots of different reasons for quitting porn, so you may not see things as I do, but for me your question reads
    and the answer seems obvious, does it not?
     
  8. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    I ask myself questions like this all the time...but truth is, if it were that simple many of us would not be part of this community seeking help and wondering what is wrong with us. The power of addiction knows no borders and those of us who are addicts will go to any lengths to satisfy our "needs." Logical questions aren't so logical to people like me who are true addicts.
     
    Get_It and Homelander like this.
  9. Homelander

    Homelander Fapstronaut

    You are right. People here already know the answer to their own addiction and just need somebody else to confirm it.

    Kicking these devastating addictions will require big lifestyle changes but you must be determined to change and the most difficult part will be to maintain it till the day you die, othereise be doomed to keep relapsing.
     
  10. Digger2

    Digger2 Fapstronaut

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    One is not better than the other. Either one will tear you down.
     
  11. The Circle only has one side

    The Circle only has one side New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys for the replies. I find that just typing it out here helps, and I haven't done either of the mentioned items for a while. I somehow rationalised my previous visits to these massages as a form of necessary relief. Working on channeling the energy to more yoga and creative pursuits, while riding through the waves of discomfort and issues with intimacy/ self-worth. I think we are all trying to escape from undesirable situations through some distractions or guilty pleasures, sometimes not realising the circles we keep coming back to, as well as the energetic consequences. My issues are also linked to an ongoing journey to manifest a more aligned career and passion fusion instead of being pulled by societal workplace enslavement leading to disillusionment, and the need to rediscover self power. Communicating the true self is a work in progress, which is also linked to lack of headway with opposite sex
     
    WilBil99 likes this.
  12. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    Where are u located? Which country? Also, I don't see anything too wrong with occasional massage jerks. Is it the most glorious way to live? No but it's nice. I've had it done to me a few times in Thailand and if you're in a bad position, it could be nice and beats beating off by yourself in the corner of your bedroom. However, your main focus should be to train, work on social skills, have good style, etc, so you can actually have good game and get women. Don't let these massage places become a crutch.
     
  13. Tryinghardtoquit2

    Tryinghardtoquit2 Fapstronaut

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    Hi George good to see you back on thr fotums after so long. You just described my former life above. Chat cyber, sexting, video and thrn massage. Coming up on 4 years since i got a massage. I'm over 130 days clean off PMO now and feeling great. Massage for me is NOT the answer.

    When i sought treatment for addiction from the psych i was so embarrassed about porn etc. But i rrcommend talking to someone if you haven't already.
     
    WilBil99 likes this.

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