I'm on day 5 (don't mind the counters of have to reset them) and yesterday I had a strong urge.... Strong. I wanted to watch P and M so bad. But I didn't! Somehow I didn't! Well. I went to sleep and I had a dream, (this is so sad) my brain wanted P so bad I had a dream I was in a car with my laptop M.... I O and when I woke up both of my hands were under my pillow so it wasn't physical stimulation. I'm just so confused right now. This is the first time this has ever happened and I'm 16 . Also I've went 9 days before and didn't have this.
I wouldn't count it as such, dreams are out of our control. During my withdrawals from P I could close my eyes and see torrents of pornographic imagery as though my mind's eye was puking it all up. Your own mind could be doing the same, shoving your face in what you've been putting into it and doing all these years so you have to really face how nasty it all is.
Definitely not. You may want to clarify your goals to help you know where the line is. Mind you it doesn't always work, in your own mind, but to others it will. I recently had an incident that I was not sure if it counted as a lapse. As, in my mind it was so close to the line they were virtually indistinguishable. When I sought input they had no trouble in seeing my original intent. It may not be what you always want to hear, at least in your head, but it will make you happier to do this as honestly as possible. For this is what your heart wants to hear. And you can never go wrong listening to your heart.
