Is this hocd?

Could just be your mind reaching for that sweet dopamine as you take it away. My fantasies were on fire when I was on two longer streaks. If you can't get the real thing, your mind can just fantasize and get sips. That's why a lot of guys say you can't entertain fantasy at all during a reboot.

 

Do you think you are Bisexual? (Attraction to both men and women) I remember back in high school I had fantasies about about both men and women for about three days, now I am exclusively attracted to women. I think it could be the case that your mind could be wandering a little or you could be Bisexual. Which unfortunately hurts your chances of getting a girlfriend as most women do not like guys who are Bisexual. Either way, I take the advice of @FocusIsLove don't entertain fantasies. I relapsed after trying to entertain mine.

 

bisexual or straight or gay, I am not sure the distinction matters these days, especially depending on your philosophy. Part of the reason I say that is that I feel like porn has muddied the water beyond what we can understand. If you had your natural sex drive, and hadn't hopped up your mind on a limitless voyeurism, who would you be attracted to? Would you have the same fantasies or attractions, or would it be much different? We really can only imagine. The genie is out of the bottle, and there is no putting it back. The best we can do is become sober and see how we are after.

 

HOCD is a subset of OCD, it’s where you obsessively fear that your sexual orientation is not what you thought it was.

Straight people with (H)OCD tend to have irrational fears that they are gay or bisexual, and it’s more so a fear of identity loss than a fear of being attracted to the same sex. When they get these intrusive thoughts, it causes anxiety which leads them to do compulsions which is basically things you do to seek reassurance, for example if I got a thought that I might be gay, I would check gay porn to make sure I’m still disgusted/not aroused by it to reassure myself I am straight. But by reassuring myself, I basically make my brain think that these thoughts are important, which makes the OCD stronger and leads to more thoughts and more anxiety and it becomes a endless cycle of thought - anxiety - compulsion - reassurance, it can get so bad that you become dissociated with reality and can only focus on your OCD.

No, what you described is not OCD, nor does it mean you’re gay either.

 

Could you elaborate on these gay thoughts and the "gay phase"?

 

DM me then.