Lied about porn addiction now i dont know how to proceed

I think you might have a couple of options here:
1. Keep the porn addiction hidden and not tell her. You said it yourself that you are over a month free of porn (congrats on that). You say you want to wait until you're broken free and maybe a relationship is just another step in the process of over coming this addiction.
2. Tell her that she asked you about porn one time and for some reason you can't get it out of your mind and you were wondering why she asked about it. This would give you the opportunity to discuss porn and tell her the truth that you used to watch it in the past. This might also give you some insight into her that she is hiding from you. Maybe she's a recovered porn addict, or maybe she currently is a porn addict.
3. Admit to her it's the only time you lied to her but you were a porn addict in the past, but it's in the past and no longer part of your life.

 

In January I start meeting a nice pretty lady.
At a certain point we started talking about "addictions". On forehand I decided to be just transparant to her no matter what kind of things we should talk about. I shared her that in the past I struggled with pornography.
The moment i spoke that out, I felt so released! I gave her a chance to accept me for who I was.
The meetings stopped but I still feel no regret for being honest.
In a good relationship you can't hide anything as every topic and theme will be discussed some time.
You can hide it for now but if she later finds out you lied to her, she will feel bad about that.
If you confess it yet, she maybe will be thankful to you for being honest to her.

 

Is a personal thing to ask. You are not oblige to respond. You just can say that is a question that is little bit personal and you are no confortable talking that stuff to her yet. Is like asking her if she touches herself on the fist date, is not the time to doit.
So, if you are not confortable about it, just don't respond.
What would happen if you start talking to a guy in a party and he ask you if you do porn, you are going to tell him to f*k off with that question. That is not his business.. that's because you don't care if he gets mad at you with your response, but with this girl you didn't behave that way because you wanted to like her.. so you even lied. Live your truth, or you response with the truth or you kindly tell her that is not appropiate yet to speak about somethin that personal.

Keep working on it, and when you think that you are free you can go and date people without the need of hinding from anything.

This is your job to figure out. No knowing what to do is a femenine behavior. Man take the bull from the horns and make a decision.

You never went on a date with her.. don't worry about feelings yet.

Are you sure you think is pretty? or you are just trying to like her because she is the only giving you the time a day? I wouldn't date a woman I don't consider my time and I'm not attracted to.

also, i wouldn't date a woman that say that I'm not his type. I want to date a woman that is crazy about me. A woman that have a deep desire for you is going to be a lot better than dating a woman that thinks that is settling for you because you are not his type.

 

Hey bro I am not giving you any advise as I am not in that position but I have full faith on you, what will you do will be best for her and also to my big brother

 

I think option #2 of previous poster was only real choice and if you’re interested in her, you should be honest.

 

Probably not the best to bring it up now but if things get relationshipy again and she asks about porn, tell her you did watch it in the past but you know it's a problem and are actively making moves to get unhooked. Explain rebooting to her and show her some YBOP resources you use to get unhooked. Don't just tell her you're getting off of porn, show her through your actions. If things are pretty serious between you two (been on 4+ dates, expect to see eachother frequently, have sleepovers), and she asks about it, tell her you're getting off of it because you like her a lot and you want your relationship to be the best it can. Girls love to hear that.

Other than that, you just have to accept how she takes it. She is totally right to be mad you lied to her. Being mad that someone you're getting into a relationship with watches porn is a little wack, but she'll love to hear you're getting off it.

 

Sorry to hear that man. Instead of burying these feelings inside or ignoring the circumstances you gotta take this on the chin. This is a clear sign of porn completely fucking your life up. Beyond that, it caused pain and suffering for someone else. And there's nothing you can do to make that person feel better except remove yourself from their life.

It's a hard pill to swallow, but it's necessary for growing up, as well as overcoming porn addiction. When I was your age I somehow got the chance to hook up with this absolutely gorgeous girl at my school who I'd been pining after for about 8 months. She was a year older than me, played a club sport at our school, and was on track to go to an Ivy League med school. And Jesus Christ was she hot. She loved how I was quirky and affectionate, unlike most of the guys that courted her, and convinced me to come over to her place one weekend. Even though I was soon naked with probably the most beautiful and wifey-material women I will probably every encounter, my severe porn addiction and PIED made it impossible for me to get any sort of erection. Trying to have sex was like trying to fit a deflated balloon through a pinhole.

She cried. A lot. And not the crying where she's sad and wants to cuddle you, the type of angry-crying where she didn't want to look at me. She was convinced I wasn't attracted to her at all, and nothing I could say eased her mind, especially since I had no idea what PIED was back then. She kicked me out, we rarely ever talked after that, and I blew what probably would have been one of the best experiences and greatest connection made in my life. Just like you gotta live with what you did, I have to live with my consequence too, as well as so many guys on here.

PS: It doesn't work for everyone, but the trauma of this incident was so strong and brutal that I've used it as fuel to quit porn. Whenever I get urges or thoughts to use, I try and think of that moment, the embarrassment I felt, and the suffering I caused for that girl. It was absolutely horrible, and I never want to ever feel that way again, no matter how horny for porn I get. No PMO is worth the suffering I experienced, and I remind myself every time I get the urge to use.

 

@Henry V , well you did your part by telling the truth, nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. You told her you are trying to quite porn and have been clean for a month, you told her the truth yourself not that she found out herself, if she doesn't appreciate this, well maybe she is not the type of girl to date, it seems she has no mercy it seems.

 

@Henry V , ah I see you are still young, ok, I assume the girl is still young also, so she still doesn't understand how people can really make horrible mistakes in life, much more horrible than watching porn, when people get older they will understand more that people arent perfect they make mistakes. You are still young so, cheerup, you will meet other girls in your life, keep the habit of not watching porn. If the urges get to great, well masturbate without porn I would advise, but do not do this too much, cause too much isnt a healthy habit either.

 

if possible spend some time in the park or nature, where there are trees, it helps, forest bathing they call, scientificallly proven to help stress,