[Life Update] - Semen Retention, Fighting Entropy, Feed on Success

I don't know where to start.
This probably belongs to another board, but for the spiritual nature of this post, I am writing it here.

I have Grown Tremendously in some areas of my life, facts:

- Knowledge for work have reached new magnitudes. Expertise is helping me to up my game.
- Semen retention techniques getting towards mastery. A recent feat is I had 7 hours of intercourse with a partner whom I was dating. By saying that, it involved intense, rigorous, near continuous "action" in 3 sections over 10-ish hours. Multiple orgasms, no release. Drove her crazy, her every cell was with me.
- Dated with a variety of women.
- My partners describe me as surreal, intense, superb in bed. Other comments include "Never liked sex until seeing you", "I am not used to this intensity", "I feel healed", "I feel repaying and satisfying you as my duty"
- Hardly, rarely release my sexual energy all these years.
- My private part gained a lot of girth, erection quality is superb. (Usually go for XL condom, and brands that have a larger XL). Good erection with condom use is another plus.
- I read extensively, developed a love on self help books (One of my past partner gifted me a Kindle)
- Developed new interests that is niche and enriched my life.


Above is wonderful, however the Below is Also True:

- Gaining expertise and knowledge, my bank account has yet to get any meaningful growth.
- Limited Financial life means life being cut short in general. The pressure, the anxiety and traumas are real. The deeper I dig, more daunting it gets.
- Of the variety of women I dated, almost none perfectly suit my needs. I have to fight this entropy.
- Still yet to date any perfect 10s, or someone truly beautiful. Don't get me wrong, I value love, but it just doesn't always happen with all of my partners.
- Of the rare occasions of a release during sex, fights happen afterwards and relationship dynamics changed. Least respect would be given from the partner, pretty much until the next successful retention on bed.
- If you don't fight entropy, girls who makes it easy for you is probably too low. They pull you down as a result. Be choosey. There is an abundance of them, especially after doing NF. I tried to meet several but my heart says no.
- I dated more women after NF, but not as much as I would have wanted. I still find myself single from time to time.
- Date-up is the way to go, but it's not the easy way. The fact that before doing NF you wouldn't even try. After NF you realize you may have a shot, then you have to start dealing with the new failures too. There are still rejection and some gorgeous women out-of-reach. I can't even reference myself for past success. I feel crushed because I have done so much to get here.
- Confidence get tested on a daily basis, especially if you are trying to achieve anything important. Sometimes I wonder for the amount of hardwork I put in, why life would slap at me this hard.
- I would be lying if I say my body/overall health has improved. Several years in, and it's biology.


Trashed:
I have decided to stop seeing that 7-hour-partner mentioned above, amazing sex aside.
COVID, social distancing, breakup, emptiness when they all comes together, it's very hard. I glimpsed some porn out of curiosity and because there was nothing to do. Nope there was no release, however I found my aura became heavy and dark. I remember how I noticed it just by seeing the reflection on my screen, right when I started watching.
That went on for a week, while my sexual energy was still largely kept within (consciously but perhaps not subconsciously), other things in life start leaking. Any hiccups or setbacks in life will feel 10 times stronger than they should be. You start to lose grasp on what you usually do well, and opportunities start to slip away. I can't pinpoint on what I actually lost, because I can't see them. But for the current life situations, I feel trashed.

This week - Healing:
Exactly what it was.
In light of the story above, I have done some soul searching and inspired by this webpage. It's an aura thing. I need to clean it up.
Setup some blocks on the router (If you are a tech guy, set its DNS). Use some essential oils to clean/neutralize the dark aura. Do some meditation. EFT.


Test Drive:
I was called to a house warming last night. I knew there would be some women there and I wonder in what ways I would benefits from my healing. To my surprise, women just came and initiated all sort of light touching with me. I enjoyed those with my entire being. Flirted and many deep engaging chats while everybody was watching. Those physical contact did invoke legit feelings of intimacy, they loved it too.
Usually if you flirt with a girl then another within a group, you are very much condemned. Girls would spread bad words about you. However they didn't seem jealous or anything. Funny when a woman is so attractive men just accept and take on competition as a given, it can work the other way wise women can accept they all flirt with the same men.
The girl who tried hardest is a sweet yoga teacher with an athletic body. Fight entropy remember? Perhaps not with her, but that's something I want to try.

Although I still see some darkness in my aura, they are fading away.
An ex I truly cared for messaged me this week. I met her and she turned into a truly gorgeous lady. Sometimes life smiles at you too.


Closing:
Perhaps acknowledging that the harm is done is a success in itself. Just some general thoughts and write up about my recent life, there are still a lot to be done, improved and experienced.
I hope that next time I open another thread is about my broader life successes.
Long post, Feel free to ask me anything.

 

2 hour is usually enough, my partners are usually satisfied and happily overwhelmed. However 7 hour sex is real and possible, and it's crazy by any realistic measure. With the cooperation of the partner, the man can be limitless on bed. It's common when I try it with a new partner I have to teach them a few things regarding sex, and there will be some trial and error. That's being said, it takes awhile to educate women to be submissive and cooperative in bed.

Like all forms of art, there is no end for improvement. But even if a kung fu master is not the best, he may very well be "already surreal". In the world of dating, and if they are experienced, they know they are on to something special. Once women tried that, they can't settle for less. They say yes to everything sexy I want to try with them. Overtime, all these experiences made me even more creative and powerful in bed.

I think I sound masculine above. I read a lot about masculinity. I simply have to. (Whether I like it or not, still some girls I date with see me their bestie or think I am gay before we actually kissed or anything.) I hope everyone here can reconnect with their masculine powers. 7 hour sex is more than a catchphrase from it. I want my masculine to support my endeavors. I want women to smell it the moment they see me. I may have found mine, but more importantly, I want it to be always there.