Looking forward to get a new grip on life.

Hello everyone,

I am a 22 y/o male who was a virgin until recently.

From a very young age, I have had really hard erections. Just closing my eyes and thinking about women got me hard as a rock in seconds. I've always felt that there is more to these erections and when I was 16, I discovered masturbation on my own.

Since then, I masturbated pretty much everyday. I was intensely attracted to many women at that time but I relieved myself of the sexual tension by masturbating, instead of trying to have sex with them. When I was 18, I got into college and started smoking cigarettes and marijuana. I never had the real desire to have sex with women. Instead, I would masturbate to my favorite pornstar. I started to notice that I am not being turned on by real women. But I just brushed it off.

Now, I am 22 years old and have met the love of my life. We care and love each other deeply and one fine day, we got horny and wanted to have sex. That day, all the dreams I had about sex came crashing down. I just couldn't get it up. Whatever she did, my dick would not respond. It was one of the worst days of my life. I gave an excuse saying that the condom was hindering my erection. My girlfriend told me not to worry and says we can do it another time. We try to have sex so many times in the coming days but it would simply not work out. She started to doubt herself and thought that I wasn't attracted to her. I had to reassure her that it was not her.

The problem I had was that I got erections from foreplay. But when it came to having sex, my erection would go from a 100 to a 0 in seconds. I looked up every available resource online. I stopped smoking, started to get more exercise and managed to relieve any stress or anxiety that I was having. Surprisingly, it worked. I could finally have sex with her.

But now a new problem emerged. I couldn't cum inside her. I was simply not feeling the same pleasure that I get when I masturbate. I also realized once again that I had low libido. I look it up on the internet and learnt that I might have masturbation death grip. So I tell myself to stop masturbating and didn't for like 5 days. But I couldn't control myself and give in to the temptation like so many times before. My girlfriend comes back from a holiday, and we try to have sex. Like before, I was simply unable to get a hard on, whatsoever. It was back to square one. I keep telling myself not to fap but fapped like once in 2 days when she was not there.

Why do I face so many problems in something many people enjoy? I really love my girlfriend and it hurts to see her get frustrated at herself. I want to please her. I want to feel like a new man. Please help me guys. Signing up for NoFap is my last resort. Sorry for the long wall of text but I feel this is the only place I could vent my frustrations.

Thank you.