Lost respect in my social circle! Need tips and help.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by pornisnotrealsex, Oct 4, 2015.

  1. I was addicted to high speed internet porn since last 4-5 years. Before that in high school, I had immense respect. But after that I lost everything in my life! I have failed in academics since then. I don't have a regular college now. I just stay at home! I don't even have any contact with girls at all! My school friends ignore me now. They choose to leave me when they go out for parties. They treat me unimportant if I go to parties with them. I don't want to cry over such things now. Not anymore! I want help and tips on how can I get my respect and importance back? I don't want to live this unimportant useless life! I want my respect back... I don't want people and friends to ignore me....
     
    Thechosenone likes this.
  2. Your friends don't sound very nice. Why not ignore them for a while?

    My friends were being disrespectful to me. One guy in particular. Gradually I contacted them less and less. Took their phone numbers off my phone. Started going out on my own. Met people. I had a girlfriend for a little while, basically as a loner with her as my only regular friend except for family.

    I'm still more or less like this. Been single for a good while. See friends very rarely. See family fairly often. I get a lot of respect from friends when I do see them now. But I don't really care. Maybe that's the secret. Not to give a damn too much. I'm happier being something of a loner for now. Being released from peer pressure is wonderful.

    I'd like a girlfriend but I'd like to be in a more stable place financially first. I'm occasionally a little unstable emotionally too. I'd like to get more of a handle on that first too.
     
  3. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Impossible to tell what went wrong with your description giving limited details of the events that led to your friends changing how they felt about you, but here's what I would do. Work on yourself.
    What do you want to do with your life?
    What are your goals, ambitions, dreams? Start working towards these things right now. Once you have a positive direction, you will build confidence and you will attract more friends. People want to be with other successful people.
    If you need to find new friends, try this website - Meetup.com - lots of ways to meet people everyday near you, doing things that you like to do.
    Good luck, hope that helps.
     
  4. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

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    Quit PMO and everything will come back.
     
  5. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    I can empathise, I'm in a similar place. they're all thinking about jobs careers work, driving etc..while my job potentially doesnt involve so much work. I'm doing somethng design related while theyre doing accountancy. When we meet i often dont have much to share and can barely hold a conversation. I dont really care much. But i try and talk about more generic things when im with them to include everyone. Also i'm making the ones who can make me feel left out, feel left out. So they understand what it feels like.

    Because us nofappers arent concerned about some of these things anymore like gaming etc. We want to become the best versions of ourselves and our friends might not get that or think its extreme and unecessary. they can find happiness in thier escape devices while we attempt to free ourselves and live a more genuine experience.

    it happens you'll get used to it, the hard part is that nofap is something we must defend but our brains are attacking us to get us to PMO - we feel we cant trust anything or anyone. Have faith that the process will help you deliver your lifestyle goals and you'll start to feel better bit by bit. Its a marathon not a race.
     
    pornisnotrealsex likes this.
  6. Thanks guys! I'm wondering how shall I utilize my talents and skills to bounce back! To establish a place of importance once again. I mean, I am training to run a full marathon and also become a mountaineer. Wondering how to display myself strong again. Not to attract my old friends but to find some new ones who really care about me. But I need an advice!
    I'll run a marathon in November and go climbing in the Himalayas in spring (April/may) next year. Before coming on nofap, I deleted all my social media accounts and even messenger such as whatsapp! My intention was to identify the real problems in my life and solve them. I have literally made a fool of myself in front of others. So my question is, whether I shall start using messengers such as whatsapp now, or wait till I become a mountaineer again? I'm really confused!
     
  7. Lunar Devil

    Lunar Devil Fapstronaut

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    My advice is this. Make a commitment and do at least what I say below 100% and with heart man!

    Start working out, no cardio needed, jsut workout. Its for your confidence, sanity and coolness. Do 1 day fast a week. Stop eating stuff which is not food. Eat a lot coz you will need it for workout but dont eat...chocolate, crips is that even 'food'?!. Meditate at least 20min a day. Dont be a dickhead. Watch yourself. Be nice to everyone and starts fresh. Its good you still talk to people man. Just slowly build your way to the top again. Change your imagine, slowly not drastically, that will make you seem weird and it doesnt work, just slowly. People will start liking you and noticing it. Start some body control exercises. This is all over the internet. Sit down and dont even anything. You will notice even thoguh your muscles are still your bones are moving slightly. You are figiting without control and so on. You goal is to stop all movement for 15 minutes while in a comfy chair. This one comes with amazing benefits you will see foryourself.

    And last, Give your future self a reason to live...How did your past self end up on this forum writing this depressing story?!?! Be a man and fuck life not your right hand or friends. You visions has to be bigger than your obstacles and your y bigger than your pain. Also stop reading novels or watching tv shows unless for social reasons or school asks you to. There is no freaking reason for that crap in humans life...YOU CAN do it, its not me saying it, the ability to do it you have! And others have done what you are about to do. Its a matter of will you?
     
  8. Verhart

    Verhart Fapstronaut

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  9. seba5116

    seba5116 Fapstronaut

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    You are like me. Seeing friends very rarely a lot around family. I should go cold approaching girls/ daygaming. It's just sooo scary, but im getting closer and closer to approach girls
     
  10. SmiesznyKot

    SmiesznyKot Fapstronaut

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    Quit PMO and limit spending time on social medias. After some time you will need contact with others. Boredom and loneliness is the best medicine to take a step in REAL social life. I have tested this and really works. :)
     
  11. CountryDude

    CountryDude Fapstronaut

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    Focus on developing yourself. Become stronger. Work out. Get a hobby. Ask a girl out on a date.

    DON'T EVER CONTACT THOSE SO-CALLED FRIENDS AGAIN.
     
    Macabre and SmiesznyKot like this.
  12. Macabre

    Macabre Fapstronaut

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    ^ This. And don't ask the girl out over text. It's weak. Ask her out on a date in person with a time and place in mind.
     
    SolidStance likes this.
  13. SolidStance

    SolidStance Guest

    Change your paradigm and look at life from a larger perspective, use daily affirmations to improve self image, build up your willpower with perfect action; better than you thought you could do, make deposits with those around you, increase the circle of influence by using real listening, be proactive 24/7 and keep sharpening the saw. Always win the private battles to influence the public ones. Greatness is there, unleash it.
     
  14. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    How did the marathon go?
     
  15. knzer

    knzer Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, I'd recommend you to join some improvisational theater classes, it's immensely fun, you'll get to know some cool friends, and it'll greatly improve your social skills (esp. humor)
     

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