They are trained that all spouses of PAs are codependent. Carnes teaches it. He is starting to break away from it, on paper, at least, but it is still ingrained. This is why I have the Betrayal Trauma thread in my signature. While it's true that some are because of past traumas or family of origin issues, it is not an automatic label just because you are married or an SO to a PA and it is infuriating. When therapists treat you that way, it causes therapy induce trauma, inflicting more damage and delaying healing.