My 30 day journey of no porn

FANTASTIC ADVICE. Thanks for sharing. Very helpful.

 

I was recently led to this free on-line book entitled "The Spiritual Combat". http://patrimoinechretien.com/Bibliothèque/Oeuvres/ScupoliSpiritualCombat2016en.pdf
This very old book, written long before modern technology, provides clear and practical guidance to the process of recognizing our feeble ability to resist sin and allowing God to work within us to keep us safe.

Particularly useful for those of us struggling with lust is Chapter XIX - How to Resist the Lusts of the Flesh. At the beginning of this chapter, I was particularly struck with these words which mirror what Tao Jones has written above.

"THIS temptation must be dealt with in a way peculiar to itself, and unlike any other. In order, therefore, to fight successfully against it, three periods of time must be observed : – 1. Before the temptation. 2. During the temptation. 3. After the temptation. 1. Before the temptation, the struggle must be against the things which lead to it. First, you must not war against this vice by confronting it, but, on the contrary, by fleeing with all your might from the thing or person that may have the least likelihood of exciting it. ...... Presume not on your own strength, if you are free, and have been for very many years free, from the temptations of the flesh ; for this cursed vice does in an hour what for years it has failed to do, often making its advances stealthily...."

How incredibly insightful are these words written circa 1549!

 

I just passed 30 days moments ago, and the temptations are stronger than ever. Very depressing that the longer I abstain, the more difficult it gets. It's the complete opposite of drugs/alcohol/cigarettes.

2 Corinthians 1:8 - For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength, that we despaired even of life itself.

 

I was asked to post the strategies for stages 2 & 3. I recommend reading the entire text but I hope the following is helpful where I have parsed out what I think are the most important points.
"2. During the time of temptation, find out whether it arises from inward or outward causes. By outward, I mean such things as curiosity of the eyes and ears, .... and conversations which stir up this vice. The remedies in such cases ..... guard of the eyes and ears from what may stir up this evil, and (as I have said already) flight. The inward causes are, either vigour of body, or imaginations of the mind which proceed either from our evil habits, or from the suggestions of the Devil. The vigour of body must be brought down by fasting, .... and similar hard measures ; but these must be undertaken with discretion and under obedience. Unholy thoughts, from whatever source they arise, must be remedied as follows : – ..... by prayer, and by meditation. Let prayer be made in the following way ..... at once fly in spirit to your Crucified Lord, and say, “My Jesus ! my dear Jesus ! make haste to help me, lest I fall into the enemy's hands !” At other times, clasping the Cross on which your Lord hangs, and kissing again and again the Wounds of His Sacred Feet, say lovingly, – “O beautiful Wounds, chaste Wounds, holy Wounds, wound now my heart, miserable and impure as it is, and free it from all that is offensive in Thy Sight.” [62] ..... Take, therefore, for your subject of meditation the Life and Passion of our Crucified Redeemer for this purpose. .... and finish your meditation with “Deliver me, O my Creator and Redeemer, from my enemies, to the honour of Thy Passion and of Thy unspeakable Goodness ;
3.When the temptation has gone, you must act in this way : – However free, and however secure you fancy yourself to be from all danger, yet keep your mind far away from those subjects which may have occasioned the temptation, even should you feel an inducement to do otherwise for the sake of some good and virtuous end. For this is a device of our corrupt nature, and a snare of our subtle enemy, who transforms himself into an angel of light, that he may draw us into the darkness.”

 

I understand your feelings. I know that in a corner of my mind I harbor a hope that after achieving a certain number of days of freedom from this sin that I will no longer be tempted by it but that hasn't proven to be the case. Nevertheless, I can assert that my ability to resist is stronger even though temptation still arises. However, if we are to truly give ourselves completely to the Lord, I think we must accept this bit of suffering and endure it.

1-Philippians 1:29 (Knox) "The grace that has been granted you Is that of suffering for Christ's sake, Not merely believing in Him."

Matthew 10:22 "That man will be saved, Who endures to the last."

Luke 21:19 "it is by endurance that you will secure Possession of your souls."

and the following from "Life of Christ", by Bishop Fulton Sheen - "The possession of a soul means the undisturbed mastery of oneself, which is the secret of inner pease, as distinguished from a thousand agitations which make it fearful, unhappy, and disappointed. Only when the soul is possessed can anything else be enjoyed."

 

I have never completed more days that I have so far done. I haven't approached your record of three years and I admire what you achieved. I have fallen more times than I can count and after most falls I was too ashamed and perhaps worn down to even approach the Lord in prayer. However, I know that was exactly what I needed to do and remain there for as long as it takes. Paraphrasing someone from the Catholic forum, if you were attacked by a mugger would you stop resisting after only 20 seconds? When tempted, one must immediately pray to Our Precious Lord and the Holy Spirit for assistance but we must keep praying until the strength of the temptation abates.

 

There is only one way we make it: One day at a time.
There is only one day in recovery that matters: Today. Make it count.

 

Thanks for that. Not sure how I could have missed it all these years.

 

Awesome (as per usual). Thanks.
A day seems like an eternity! It's a moment by moment battle for me. Just trying to get through the next 30 seconds without completely giving up.

 

I was reading that last night before you quoted it. Nice book.
Although I wish there was a stronger remedy I could take to eliminate temptation.

 

Me too Andy. I quit p for 3 years (2013-2016). Unplugged myself from the internet completely. My friends thought I was nuts.

But eventually, I gave in to temptation. It's taken me 5 years just to try again. And it seems so much harder now than the last time I quit, despite all that's been taught to me.

 

Good stuff Andy. The first couple of days are very difficult. Now you've got momentum on your side.

 

One of the things that struck me about this book is that it indicates the temptation to lust is peculiarly strong and quite insidious because it frequently begins with a seemingly innocent encounter. In my case, when I am at my weakest, I have had to put my device out of convenient reach (in another room or better yet another building) and also during such times of real weakness, I only use my laptop when someone else is around. Even when I am not feeling any weaker than normal, I must make myself quickly push past pictures of attractive persons when using my computer and I avert my eyes if a film I am watching has a salacious interval. I am no saint, to be sure, but I know that I have the breaking strength of a candy bar.

Here is another excerpt from this book, "The Spiritual Combat" that highlights a human's susceptibility to this sin and the need to be absolutely ruthless in avoiding the smallest temptation.

"Be cautious------run away------you are more susceptible to occasions of this sin than straw is to fire. Do not rely on your own strength or on some resolution you have taken to die rather than offend God. Despite your good intentions, frequent exciting conversations will enkindle a flame that cannot be extinguished. The impetuous desire of satisfying your passions will make you deaf to the warning of your friends. You will lose the fear of God, your reputation and even your life will be disregarded. Not even the fear of the flames of Hell will be able to master the fury of the sensual fires enkindled in your heart. Look for safety, then, in flight. There is no other way to escape. Too much confidence will end in eternal destruction.

b. Avoid idleness. Determine what you have to do, and then fulfill exactly the duties of your position in life."

 

I began making headway in recovery when I abandoned all confidence in myself and placed my confidence on Christ instead. That arrangement has been working out much better!

 

CPilot and Tao Jones. You guys are incredibly helpful. Thank you both.

 

I completely agree and I would like to grow my trust in God. In those instances when adversity comes and I am able to say internally and externally - God will provide, I feel such wonderful peace. Please Tao Jones, give us your thoughts on the means to grow our trust in God. I would appreciate it!

 

Trust takes time, just as in any relationship. Especially when trust has been damaged in our other relationships, it can take a while for it to form, even with someone as absolutely trustworthy as God! He is patient and gracious as we grow.

Many, many thoughts on how trust forms in relationships over time, but perhaps this will be a start? I have found Wayne Jacobsen to be a help.
https://www.lifestream.org/lifestream-3-how-can-i-live-in-increasingly-trusting-jesus/