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my boyfriend and I decided to stop masturbating as a couple

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by sila0812, Jan 21, 2021.

  1. Jan 21, 2021 #1
    sila0812

    sila0812 New Fapstronaut

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    We both decided voluntarily to stop masturbating because the relationship is affected, but he is passing the abstinence stage and I don't know how to help him.
    How can I help him without either of us falling?
     
    sila0812, Jan 21, 2021
    sila0812, Jan 21, 2021
    #1
    Wugazi32 and +TenPercent like this.
  2. Jan 21, 2021 #2
    Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    By passing the stage do you mean he's not sticking with your agreed upon decisions?
     
    Trobone, Jan 21, 2021
    Trobone, Jan 21, 2021
    #2
  3. Jan 21, 2021 #3
    sila0812

    sila0812 New Fapstronaut

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    we are complying, but he is having more problems with abstinence and I want to help him
     
    sila0812, Jan 21, 2021
    sila0812, Jan 21, 2021
    #3
  4. Jan 21, 2021 #4
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hmm... How about installing blockers? Or try to both of you busy by doing things together or suggesting doing an activity together?
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 21, 2021
    Deleted Account, Jan 21, 2021
    #4
  5. Jan 21, 2021 #5
    Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    My advice is routine to look into the triggers before his hand is down his pants. Journaling nightly is helpful for example.
     
    Trobone, Jan 21, 2021
    Trobone, Jan 21, 2021
    #5
  6. Jan 22, 2021 #6
    p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    It could be that you decided that the relationship was afected because of that and he agreeded... and you proposed to stop doing it and he also agreed?
    Maybe he is not that convinced about it, but he agreed to no let you down or avoid making you angry or sad, and that's why he is struggling more than you.

    Avoiding masturbation is about motivation. As an example, for me is really easy to avoid masturbation when I'm dating a woman because it affect our sex life, my motivation is having great sex with her. But when I'm not dating is really hard for me to not do it.

    Besides all that is your job to be better for him and he need to work to be better for you.
    The best you can do for him is to cheer him up in his commitment to avoid fapping and giving him a good example from your part of not fapping.
    Another way, as I said before, if you know how, look for a way to motivate him to want to avoid masturbation. You know him more than anyone.. if you find the rigth motivation maybe he will start to think about it in a different way and get a little more easy for him.
     
    p1n1983, Jan 22, 2021
    p1n1983, Jan 22, 2021
    #6
  7. Jan 22, 2021 #7
    sila0812

    sila0812 New Fapstronaut

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    [QUOTE = "p1n1983, post: 2880613, member: 196963"] ¿Podría ser que decidiste que la relación se vio afectada por eso y él estuvo de acuerdo ... y propusiste dejar de hacerlo y él también estuvo de acuerdo?
    Tal vez él no esté tan convencido de eso, pero acordó no defraudarte o evitar enojarte o entristecerte, y es por eso que él está luchando más que tú.

    Evitar la masturbación tiene que ver con la motivación. Por ejemplo, para mí es muy fácil evitar la masturbación cuando salgo con una mujer porque afecta nuestra vida sexual, mi motivación es tener buen sexo con ella. Pero cuando no estoy saliendo es muy difícil para mí no hacerlo.

    Además de todo, ese es su trabajo para ser mejor para él y él necesita trabajar para ser mejor para usted.
    Lo mejor que puedes hacer por él es animarlo en su compromiso de evitar fallar y darle un buen ejemplo de tu parte de no fallar.
    De otra manera, como dije antes, si sabes cómo, busca una manera de motivarlo a querer evitar la masturbación. Lo conoces más que nadie ... si encuentras la motivación correcta, tal vez comience a pensar en ello de una manera diferente y se vuelva un poco más fácil para él. [/ CITA]

    Muchas gracias!!
     
    sila0812, Jan 22, 2021
    sila0812, Jan 22, 2021
    #7

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