My fight against porn

Day 0:
Today was the final day I ever watch porn. I don’t know how many times I’ve wrote that exact sentence to myself and then broke that promise. I don’t know how many times I’ve promised myself that I would quit porn and then gone and broke said promise after a few days. Sometimes, after a “session”, I will be filled with rage, and say to myself “never again” and make all these empty commitments which I don’t follow through with because I am currently ill-disciplined and immature. At 17 years old, I’m still young enough to mend my mistakes. My mistakes you may ask? Well these mistakes started around the age of 14-15, where I first started masturbating to porn. Initially, I was attracted to big butts, quite common, so that was not fine, but a lot better than where I am now. Big butts progressed to ass worship femdom, which progressed to farting and even toilet fetish porn and as of today, the flavour of the month is strap on porn; yes, the girl on guy variation. But all of this is so not me, at least I don’t think it is. For one, I would never ever let a female or anyone for that matter violate me in such a way as to disrespect me or dominate me, that’s not what I’m about. The real me (not the porn hungry animal) I believe is a loving person who just wants to feel real love, like mostly anyone really. Today, even though I have made this commitment to myself so many times before, I have decided that I am leaving porn and artificial stimulation behind and becoming the real me. I have decided this in an attempt to remove these femdom fetishes and return to a relatively normal sexual state, as I don’t want these fetishes at all and just want to lead a good sexual life in the future. I truly believe that I am capable of this, and if anyone cares, and wants to see my journey and progress, that’s cool. Stay safe guys
Steph

 

Day 1:
Yesterday, there were no more urges, I was in the zone. I’ve been watching some motivation clips today and now am headed to the gym, a good start to a long journey.