My girlfriend doesnt understand, please help

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by KingB1998, Nov 24, 2019.

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  1. KingB1998

    KingB1998 Fapstronaut

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    Hello,

    Since november 2018 i got a gf, but i cant have erections. This resulted in a lot of fights because she doesnt feel pretty. I tried going to a psychiatrist but she couldnt help me. Doctors couldnt find anything aswell. Me and my gf broke up 2 months ago but we would like to try again. Only downside is if we cant have sex (with penetration) she doesnt want a relationship... i think i have PIED, and i stopped watching porn like a week ago. Thats when i found out about this site and PIED.
    I really love that girl, but how in the world can i let her get it. She just doesnt understand and it breaks my heart. Please give me advice how i can let her understand. And also advice on how to stop and what else i should do and shouldnt do if it is PIED which i have.

    Thanks in advance.

    (And sorry if some of my english is not good)
     
  2. w95chris

    w95chris Fapstronaut

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    Well you have to explain her that this is an issue and it takes time to fix it. Explain to her what is going on and how you got this issue (you were a porn addict) and tell her that it will take some time to "be normal" again. Try going to a doctor who can help you with that issue and maybe guide you towards a path which can help you heal up. In the meantime stay away from Porn and masturbation and eventually it will heal but it is going to take some time (every person is different you might take less time compared to some of us here or more)
    Try to find a healthier habit to replace Porn and masturbation like for example working out, going for walks etc and also keep a healthy nutrition. All these in addition to your absence from porn and masturbation will help you in the long run
     
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  3. BrokenHabit

    BrokenHabit Fapstronaut

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    Tell her about your problem and porn addiction. If she loves you, she will understand you; if not, then leave her
     
  4. treborn

    treborn Fapstronaut

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    pied?so young?is your first experience with her or have you already had other sexual experiences?
     
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  5. KingB1998

    KingB1998 Fapstronaut

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    I had other experiences. With other girls, i tried via gra but they dont work aswell.
     
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  6. treborn

    treborn Fapstronaut

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    viagra?doesn't work with porn addiction,as long as you have it, I know it's a personal and private question but how many times do you spend your time in front of porn?
     
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  7. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    go see a doctor to exclude any other possible problem. And also, is there anything else in the picture that might contribute to ED? Like any other addiction, depression, PTSD or such, maybe obesity? It seems to me my ED was cured somewhat as i gave up internet gambling in 2017 along with better diet and regular exercise. But it is day to day for me, I still fight some issues though.

    Are you erect while watching porn or just temporarily then goes limb? I had this problem of sustaining an erection but not fapping daily helps alot along with good diet, and cutting out sugar best I can.
     
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  8. KingB1998

    KingB1998 Fapstronaut

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    When i was younger i started when i was 12 i think. I watched daily since then. When i got a gf i did it less ofcourse, and now i stopped like a week.
     
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  9. KingB1998

    KingB1998 Fapstronaut

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    I have seen a doctor multiple times, everyone says it is in my head. I had depression but mostly i think it is because of ED (other stuff aswell). I am not obese, i dont eat fruit but i do eat vegetables. I am erect and can cum with porn, but with woman i cannot get erect and cant cum(really rarely i can get erect with woman, 1 out of 20 times)
     
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  10. OoOoOoOoOoOoO

    OoOoOoOoOoOoO Fapstronaut

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    Join the club, you have a classic case of PIED. It is not a physical issue, so pills or whatever won't do shit. It is a psychological issue, which means the best thing you can do is abstain from porn, and tell your girlfriend that you can actually speed up the process of your recovery by doing intimate activities together that aren't necessarily sex like cuddling or whatnot. Worst case scenario, you move on to a girl who is more understanding of your situation, but the fact that you both tried to make it work after breaking up once seems like you are in a position where you can try and convince your gf. In the meantime, you can always please her in other ways like oral.
     
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  11. treborn

    treborn Fapstronaut

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    porn is a shit bro,peoples think porn is not dangerous but the truth is another
     
  12. If you really loved me

    If you really loved me Fapstronaut

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    That is the worst and most self serving bit of advice. I am seeing that a lot on here. Where is your empathy? The pain I put my wife through has been debilitating and tramatic for her. Shes been to therapist, support groups, developed eating disorders and I could go on. One thing I know about recovery is the humility and patience that comes from it is real. Your advice for somebody to continue emotionally abusing somebody is going to lead you back into your addiction.
     
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  13. BrokenHabit

    BrokenHabit Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, I didn’t want to say anything bad. I would do it too if I were in his place and if my girlfriend and I had love and trust
     
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  14. If you really loved me

    If you really loved me Fapstronaut

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  15. If you really loved me

    If you really loved me Fapstronaut

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    Look man when we are addicts we are selfish it dont matter what the drug is. I feel humiliated and less than a man every day i see my wife suffer but that dont mean getting a divorce is gonna make shit better. She loves me. I'm not that good looking or rich or none of that shit. Shes hot, clean, smells good all the time and could get anybody she wanted probably. That dude might have something rare with his chick. He is feeling just as lonely and desperate as we all do at times dealing with this shit. I asked my wife why shes stuck by me and she said is because I'm kind and still love her even though this shit has turned her into a anorexic, manic depressed psyco at times.
     
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  16. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    You need to be honest with her and be honest with your therapists. Therapists only help if you are honest about them and your problems and factors such as using PMO.
     
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  17. If you really loved me

    If you really loved me Fapstronaut

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  18. If you really loved me

    If you really loved me Fapstronaut

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    I am honest now but that doesnt help my wife whos been neglected and discarded for a bunch of trash. Ive made her feel less than da biggest piece of shit whores alive. She wants me to get better but her therapist is working on working her out of our life together. He thinks im mentally abusive and dont really want to change and am gonna fuck her up. He didnt say that but I can tell. Shes more withdrawn, spending more time at the gym, eating finally but shes doing it because hes telling her to. Hes fixing her so she will be strong enough to leave.
     
  19. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    If she wants to stay together, then she needs to find a therapist that supports that future while supporting her. If you want to stay together, you have to live every day to not do this anymore.
     
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  20. If you really loved me

    If you really loved me Fapstronaut

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    The problem is she isnt the problem so how am i suposed to tell her to make changes when that is all this shit has done is change her life for shit. She wont make any changes without her therapist supporting it. The man just doesnt like me. I know she doesnt talk shit and just sticks to the facts but for some reason the man hates me which makes it even worse because shes getting advice from a man. Im sure shes thinking that he is what a real man is. Shes never said it but the fact that shes getting help from another man bugs the shit out of me. I asked her why she didnt get a female therapist and she said because she doesnt want to categorize things as male or female and just focuss on the illness not the gender. Idk she makes so much sense sometimes but like I said she going to make the sense out of our life together. I wont know what to do if she does man. Ill never find another woman as hot and good as her. I told her that and her response was that I dont really desire good women i just want the bennifits of one. Im sure that came from her therapist.
     
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