Inspired by other users I've decided to write a journal for my progress. This will be my progress tracker and a record of my journey. If you like you can give your comment or give suggestions. I am new to this community and have just read the Getting Started with NoFap book and the two articles about Getting started and Rebooting. I think they covered almost all the things that I need to learn at least at this stage. I was planning to set my target for 15 days or 30 days, but reading these things motivated me to try for the 90-day reboot program. I am not sure if I am able to do this without resetting, that's why I thought this journal might be helpful. In the past, I've done it successfully for 30 days and 60 days. But after that whatever might be the reason, I think I am consuming more porn than before and the frequency has also increased. Let's try to reboot this time with the NoFap community. It's really helpful to read comments from users who have successfully done this, and that makes me believe it is not only possible but also easy. I am starting my 90-day reboot program from today. That was not the plan, but there was a section on the book called The Simple PIED Test, and yes I did that and I'm happy that I don't have PIED. So I guess this reset the counter. And I am not planning for using this journal daily or some fixed cycle. The urge and other desire don't bother me every day so there is no point in maintaining it daily because I have the other daily journal that's enough for me. My plan with this is that I'll use it as a tool and a record or say the history of events and emotions in this journey. I'll keep a record of all the things related to my urge and desire for PMO. I guess that'll help me in understanding my emotions related to this and also see at what stage my feelings change, what and what was the cause, and all other stuff. Let's see how this goes. Hopefully, I'll stick to this journal and not break this habit at least.
It's been 3 days and I have not posted anything. Yeah, I'm doing great and yes it's just 3 days . Last night I had a mild urge nothing serious, that lasted less than a minute or so. Probably induced by youtube videos. I know I'll be fine for a couple of more days and let's see what happens next. For now, I'm doing very well and I'm really happy with myself.
This is the period when I turn to porn. So yes I'm having some urges. But it happens only one time during the day, I just have to control then and after that, it goes away. In the coming few days I think these urges might grow and after that probably I'll experience a flatline, yeah these things happened to me in the past. So I have to be strong for a few more days and then it will be easy.
Last night I had nocturnal emissions (nightfall) after a long time (not that long though, about 2 months or so). I guess I was consuming more porn that's why there was no nightfall. Interestingly yesterday there were no urges and I was quite busy and happy with my works. I guess I should be careful about the chaser effect now and let's see how the frequency of nightfall increase or decrease with time.
Sometimes it gets really difficult to control urges. When you are not focused and not feeling happy or enthusiastic, just one click can ruin your progress. My mind starts to find some ways to cheat and I've to control. Like watching a porn substitute maybe not exactly but something that stimulates. I don't know exactly but it should be counted as a reset, so I'll count them as a reset from now on, at least when I am consciously searching for something like that. I need to keep myself up and happy and do not lose the feeling of satisfaction. I don't think I am strong enough to bear the failure at least at this small progress, so I will hold my ground and push it as far as I can.
I have not written anything since last Friday, almost a week. But it was one of the best weeks in terms of my urges. I have no desire to look at porn and zero interest in other sexual feelings and no nocturnal emissions. I think this is the flatline, I didn't expect it to come so early. I have been very busy and having really tight schedule with no breaks. Generally, under these kinds of tight schedule and monotone routine, after some time I get feeling of depression and lack of interest but I can say this time I am having a good time and managing without much stress. Since I am managing everything well I started to give a little time for my hobbies as well. The only thought about PMO that came to my mind was about the habits that I used to watch porn to entertain myself but now I can't. I was a little surprised initially considering I was having intense urges and then it suddenly stopped. But now I am happy that nothing is bothering me or distracting me from my work.
I felt some urges to watch porn after around 10 days. It was a very peaceful time. It's not very hard to control, may it's because accidentally I saw some porn-related pictures. I think I am doing good but also afraid that after 18 days I might once again go back to zero. I think 18 days is quite good considering how frequently I was consuming previously, but still very far from 90 days and I'm sure I can complete it.
At this point, I am not having urges but I'm bored and I feel I'm less enthusiastic about this. Sometimes it feels maybe I should go for P without M and O. And then all will come to zero again. Even though I have to deal with these kinds of weird urges but I think I can push further.
I haven't posted any updates from the last few days. In these days, there were 2-3 days on which it was really difficult to control. I had almost given up, the urges were strong and there were no positive thoughts to guide me. It was really a hard time. I have now also installed some of nofap related apps to try and see if they are actually helpful. I stopped myself from relapsing and it was a continuous effort for 2-3 days. From yesterday I am having a feeling of sadness and it was really bad. The thoughts behind these are not completely new. Anyway, the urges are gone completely and I am sure they are not coming back anytime soon.
I had some urges last night. I was too tired probably that's why urges were significant. Generally, I have some thoughts related to PMO but within few seconds they go away, last just for a moment. But last night I was tired and that might be the cause that the urges were stronger.
So after 40 days, I relapsed. I thought I'll be able to reboot in one attempt. I must admit going 90 days on one attempt was difficult in Hard mode, considering my previous frequency. This attempt was filled with ups and downs, I think the next attempt will be easier than this. And lately, I was very less motivated towards this, maybe now I should start daily entries on this journal. Now I am giving another attempt.
Day 6 completed. Was having some urges late at night. It might be because of bad feelings I was having.
Failed again due to mood. Its not masturbation its the porn. This time added a mood journal to routine.
Day 1 completed of my 3rd attempt. This time I am focusing on my mood. The main reason for my last 2 failures.
