My speech to a woman who does not wear modestly

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by KennyKenny123, Nov 29, 2018.

  1. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    I don't think this is for me and I really pray it isn't because that is a sick argument to make. As I'm pretty sure no one believes that. My only statement and insinuation of the original poste was does dressing immodestly lead to pmo. And the answer is yes. Might not even be over the girl you see. But that flesh reminds you of your computer screen and its very damaging. I do not believe in any system to force people to dress a certain way. It should be their choice. But I dont think a caring, elegant lady would dress a certain way if she knew the way a lot of men objectify the female figure and might pmo over simply seeing their flesh. I hate myself for it. But it is what it is. And Im trying to change. But seeing women basically walking around in their underwear does not help. At all. And I dont think it would help you either if you saw what I have to see. We are both trying to change. And if you are a heterosexual male, which I assume you are, you would be very tempted by the things you see on a uni campus.
     
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  2. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    No. Not at all. I hope you're not trying to misrepresent the argument that has been brought forward. The original poster said many times this was not about disrespect or anything like that. And I am not a muslim and dont believe in any of those things. And neither do you so stop swerving the issue. No one expects women to wear anything. They can wear what they like. But if you want to live in a world where you can wear what you like AND never be judged or objectified by hyper sexual men who've been watching porn since they were 11...then you're living on the wrong planet in the wrong era.
     
  3. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    As I think Ive already demonstrated, I dont support forcing people to follow my standards or Christian standards. So your last two questions are irrelevant. However, I know that by not following certain standards of modesty that you will inadvertently encourage hormonal teenagers to pmo.
     
  4. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    Don't we all want the same thing?? To be free of this curse, this addiction? Right? Are you telling me that if you saw a woman walking down the street with everything hanging out that it wouldnt affect you? I am not saying women should have to walk around in a burka for goodness sake but show a little class. I wouldnt wear a tank top and speedos in public.
     
  5. I am a student massage therapist, and nudity, male and female doesn't really effect me anymore. I have touched 20+ women and 20+ men this last month, at no time was I tempted. If I go to a university campus I see my friend's daughters, 14 years younger then me. I'm not interested in them regardless of how they look. I will not feast on their flesh with my eyes. I am trying to eliminate PMO as my final vice that keeps me from a celibate life of service to Christ. It's my final offering to God.
     
  6. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    Wherever you're living bro, I want to live there XD Cause Im at university and its nothing like that here. I live with a girl who literally walks around the house who dresses very skimpily. And I would be lying if I told you that it hadn't led me to pmo. Not over her particularly but it has made me hormonal and that has resulted in failure. My failure but if she knew what I thought she wouldnt probably wear it.
     
  7. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    Then I will accept that I am wrong on that point. Noted. I will be careful who I am topless around and where I am.
     
  8. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    But I dont hold a double standard as for me, neither gender should be topless if you want to help people abstain from pmo. Also, I really wish the best for you and hope you recover from this addiction thats plaguing you. That being said, testosterone really does make pmo a really difficult thing to overcome for men.
     
  9. Reuby

    Reuby Distinguished Fapstronaut

    We truly do live in a society...

    Do I form opinions in my head of girls who dress immodestly? Yeah, based on my own morals and experiences. But these opinions are only superficial, I keep them to myself, and evaluate them more on how they interact with others, their values, personality and character. Just because I might not approve of somebody’s outfit, it’s not like they should care about my opinion. Nobody should deny that men are very visual beings, very easily aroused. And we need to accept that unfortunately, some men are just perverts who can’t control themselves, and they are the only people who should be blamed (the porn industry might turn people into perverts but they are still responsible for their own actions), but this does unfortunately mean that perverts present a risk to women, whether this risk is heightened by dressing immodestly or not I’m not sure. It’s best that this risk is just dealt with as a fact, because it’s not like we can remove evil from the world (but we can help by supporting the anti porn movement).

    Besides this, I believe in personal responsibility and liberty. Wear what you want, don’t blame others for your issues. Everyone is different so don’t be quick to judge, and keep your judgement to yourself.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2018
  10. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    Fair enough. Good on you bro. However, we clearly have different triggers. And you have been desensitised to it then. You are luckier than me. And I wouldnt be attracted to a girl 14 years younger than me either. I think thats a different problem. Its girls my age thats the issue. And fair play mate. I really hope you can kick this vice.
     
  11. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    I agree with your post. But I want to point out that despite me sounding very judgemental, I actually never share my opinion or tell any girl about what she should do with her body. I only saw a post which I found interesting and decided to add my opinion. Same as you. We are all allowed an opinion. I appreciate your honest to say that you at least form opinions in your head as well as your evaluation of men and this world.
     
  12. I find grounding helps, my grounding is the Lord's Prayer. I recite it in my head many times a day, once I get to the like "And leadith me not to temptation, but deliver me from evil.". I regain my grounding with my clients or with women I meet.
     
  13. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    Well, the truth is I dont know how it is to be a woman and you dont know how it is to be a man. Biologically. Therefore we're always going to disagree. But I do believe it is harder for men. Not a billion times. But I do believe its harder for men. Male hormones make us more sexual. Its a fact. Our brains have adapted to trying to find a mate and reproduce. Its a fact. And thats why this site is probably around 90% men. Feel free to disagree with me.
     
  14. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    Respect. I also wear the Lords prayer round my neck.
     
  15. Reuby

    Reuby Distinguished Fapstronaut

    I wouldn’t expect someone to dress modestly for the sake of a porn addict. They can if they want, but it’s ridiculous to think that everyone should be so reserved as to not trigger people with issues. If I had an alcoholic uncle who is trying to quit, would my entire family not drink when we catch up for Christmas? That would be ridiculous.
    Don’t accept your problems and hate your self for them, pity yourself, or wish others would change their lifestyle because they pity you. Take complete responsibility for them, work hard, and you will overcome them. You have more choice and power in this than you think you do.
     
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  16. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    I dont know if you've read all my old comments but I dont expect anybody to change for me. Not at all. I am the problem here. Not them. The point of this forum post was can women help by dressing more modestly? Yes, they can. Do I expect them to? No, I dont. Will they? Probably not. And thats fine. But I am allowed to express my distaste for it. That being said, if you knew someone was an ex-alcoholic, wouldnt you abstain from drinking around them?? Maybe not for something like Christmas but if they were at your house by themselves?
     
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  17. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    I wish all of you the best in ridding yourself of this addiction. Whether or not we agree. We are all different and come from different places and walks of life. But I pray that you will be able to overcome this. No matter what gender you are.
     
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  18. Freedom Jacques

    Freedom Jacques Fapstronaut

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    I will take your word for it.
     
  19. I have a very low sex drive, and I often have Christian women seeking me as a partner. I find most women insatiable. I find them intimidating for that reason.
     
  20. Reuby

    Reuby Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Ok, sorry for misunderstanding, I didn’t read your earlier posts. And definitely, if an alcoholic was with just me I wouldn’t drink. It’s good to take care of people you know, trying to understand there struggles and be caring, and as a society it would certainly be good if we understood addiction and addicts more. Trying to not trigger others won’t be very helpful anyway unless people deal with the real root of the addiction. Being more connected to the people around us will.
     
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