My story - is there any hope?

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by DepressedSaj, Dec 1, 2019 at 3:12 PM.

  1. DepressedSaj

    DepressedSaj New Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys, it’s been a week I found out about NoFap and this community on reddit. I’m a M29 living by myself in Montreal but originally from South Asia.

    I started PMO when I was in grade 5 back in 2001. I never took the situation seriously and my habits got worse over time. I used to watch normal porn before now it has become pretty disgusting. As time went by I used to jack off at least 3 to 4 times a day. Everything turned me on during my teen years. End of High School I had a girlfriend and was still able to perform. During my university had a few encounters but not a long-term girlfriend. Then when I started working dated a girl for three years and performance was inconsistent, but luckily she was kind enough. I had to really get mentally ready to have a sexual encounter because I was always afraid that I’m not gonna get that erection needed for the intercourse. I was at around 60% then.

    I have been promising myself that I will quit this habit but you know how it works, I never stopped and it kept on getting worse and worse. I start having a limp penis in the last two years but still never gave up PMO. I reduced the frequency, but I still checked once in a while if my little guy is still functioning and end up PMOing.

    When I move to Montreal 2 years back I was single and started looking for partners. I was a bit overweight, which I fixed with a healthy diet and workout.

    Finally after trying here and there, met a very cute German girl and eventually led to the bedroom. No matter how much I tried I could not get the reaction, even with Viagara. Eventually she left me for some other guy. And that was last week, since then I have been having suicidal thoughts and I regret what I have done to myself. I have been masturbating for 18 years and I have completely destroyed myself. I have a serious case of PIED/ED with watery semen. I’m not sure if there is any hope for me, I feel suicidal. This forum gives me a little bit of hope but I don’t know how long it will take.

    Thank you for reading, please excuse my bad English .
     
  2. Tiger uppercut!

    Tiger uppercut! NoFap Moderator
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    Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    swordsman163 and rafael33 like this.
  3. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the Nofap community.
    The NOPMO journey is not easy but worth the effort.
    The community will support you.

    There is always hope. You made the habit and you can break the habit. You have no idea how strong you really are.
    And if you relapse - just make a new start.
    What brought you to this website? What made you register and post here? It was your heart which wants to get rid of addiction. You are longing for true happiness and this is well possible. I see your sincere effort. You are a wonderful person. Accept yourself, like yourself, love yourself. All is well. You will make it.
     
    swordsman163 and Tiger uppercut! like this.

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