My willpower is shit.

You don't need will power, mate. You need to make a vow and abide by it.

You cannot act contrary to your will in this situation: if you watch pornography again it is because you willed it.

I would say you quit against your will (hence the importance you ascribe to willpower). You hold out as long as possible and inevitably your willpower fails you. Do you expect one day to have enough willpower to sustain you for the rest of your life?

Instead of waiting a lifetime for the moment to conclude you are no longer addicted to pornography, you begin as if this was an established fact and take it from there.

Instead of cravings, which implies that your addiction is still active and turns your recovery process into a torturous psychological battle between good and evil, you have withdrawal symptoms, which amounts to recovering from nervous exhaustion.

Trust in the process and never look back. Just make the decision.

If you decide to push the "fuck it" button again and relapse, just know that you willed it. The cognitive dissonance I suffered from over the years in pretending I was acting contrary to my own will and that my willpower had failed me yet again whenever I relapsed caused me so much needless grief.

 

The idea of willpower implies there's a central authority in your mind, but if it's a bunch of parts doing different things, not always cooperating with each other then that view is not only inaccurate but it won't work. The same basically goes for choice. There's a question of which part of your mind does the physical action, but even before anything happens they are thinking different things obviously. That's why people who meditate discover the fairly obvious fact that they have a busy mind, there always was a lot of stuff going on but most people just don't notice.

So instead of thinking following through with what seems like a simple thing, if you get to know your own mind and what the different parts are like and does, you can see it coming - and the earlier you deal with it the better your chances are at preventing a relapse.

The thing is we're not simple machines, and just treating it like do X days of abstinence and you'll be rebooted is way too simplistic. We all agree on that but it doesn't mean abstinence is the only thing you do.

And as someone responding to a post like this, and you've probably seen other people post something similar I have a hard time to know what else to say specifically. There's a lot of stuff we can go into but I don't know anything else about you as a person, it's not like we're literally just a much of simple machines that you can hit a switch to reboot and any post replying to the same issue will cover it all. If that was the case people wouldn't keep making posts like this.

Maybe the most important thing is yeah, you may know generally what to do, but details matter. Or if you don't get to the point where you're willing to do what it takes (which isn't just abstinence) then ask why not? You can figure that out, that's a good way to use journaling. I don't know what you write or how you tend to write but don't just use it for recording stuff that happened, reflect and record your thoughts. Chances are you have some insight and it helps you process it if you use it that way.

 

To become porn-addiction-free it does not take willpower, it isn't a lack of knowledge, it is not a matter of which blocker or technology you have implemented. It goes much deeper than that, and I speak with over 40 years of porn addiction.

It does take connection, it takes other In Real Life human beings, to become porn-free. You may not like to hear this - a pornography and masturbation addiction takes place in aloneness, in loneliness and frustration and a ton of other emotions. Thus getting free of this addiction cannot take place alone and by yourself. You are not built that way, you will just go back to all the comforts and false promises of porn, it is just so convenient and all around us in a sexualized society.

Yes I have gained a lot of knowledge and have installed a porn blocker (more here about the tools I have put in place). But it was the connection I've made with accountability partners, as well as the connection I've made with a weekly Porn Addicts Anonymous group, along with written plans and goals, that have made a measurable difference.

 

Consider looking into any local Porn or Sex Addicts Anonymous groups near you and attend them. Real connection is the opposite of addiction. Best of luck to you in this journey!