Need lifestyle changes!!!

Welcome! I'm glad you're here.

I understand what you're talking about. All I can do is point you to what I wrote, linked below: "What's working..." If I can help further, let me know.

 

You’ve got the right idea. Lifestyle change is essential. We are cheering for you bro.

 

12Red, welcome and congratulations on taking the first step. One of the most powerful things i do when i feel the urge to let myself slide into browsing and masturbating is to visit here and read some of the latest posts by new people. Their struggles and desperation focus me on the need to avoid it and even get me to post a word of support for their struggle. Another is to recognize that the women and men in porn are someone's wife, husband, sister, niece, nephew, etc. Many are not in it as a positive and willing choice, but have been drawn to it through desperation and ignorance and immaturity. I try to imagine just how their families deal with it and how they have tried to "normalize" doing what they do with multiple casual partners for the sake of a paycheck and hurt their own feelings of confidence in themselves. I try to imagine what their life might be like knowing that their claim to fame is performing a sex act better than a lot of other people. I just try to look at it realistically and it helps me. Finally, thinking of the time wasted on self-gratification instead of improving my work ethic and making more money to spend and save and live a better life helps as well. Take this one day at a time and pat yourself on the back each day you succeed. Good luck to you.

 

Well, I thought what I linked was pretty specific:

- Have a very firm resolution. Example: I HATE porn. I hate it with the heat of a million suns. I cultivate that hate. I review regularly the reasons I hate it: all the ways it has damaged me, and could have ruined me -- and would, if I continued with it.

- Examine closely the patterns of your life. Do you tend to fall into trouble on certain days, and/or at certain times, or in certain situations? I did. I learned a lot about what made me vulnerable. I learned a lot about various moods that made me much more likely to seek porn and masturbation. That led me to think about counter strategies.

Basically, I learned to be more alert to my moods. And I replaced my old habit with new ones: when bored, I do x, y or z.

As far as coping strategies? One I call pushing the pause button. Whatever seems so urgent (I mean, as far as looking at porn) right NOW, can surely wait 15 minutes. Pausing does wonders. Another: changing your location. Physically getting up and going somewhere else. Another: look for something ELSE I enjoy doing. Instead of browsing for porn, how about browsing for funny videos? Or playing a computer game. The brain is kind of like a kitten: it will be entertained by almost anything. Another: I remind myself of all the ways porn made my life miserable. Another: I pray. I ask the Lord to deliver me from the temptation, and I will ask my guardian angel to smash the devil in the mouth. Maybe that sounds funny, but you know? It works. Another: I go get something to eat or to drink. Amazing how many times that works.

As far as changes in my life? I have stopped going to any number of websites that aren't porn, but do tend to stimulate that part of my brain, leading me to something more, and something more.

The biggest change I made was becoming involved in this site. This site was a Godsend for me.

I hope this helps. Feel free to ask more questions if not.

 

Welcome and thank you for sharing your story. I'm still under 7 days NoFap and its my first hard reboot...ever. You just gotta take it one day at a time. Everyone handles this unique challenge differently. Bottom line is you are here because you want to improve yourself and that's a great start! This is a good site to find resources and to build a support channel. I'm taking this NoFap opportunity to focus on distancing myself from PMO but also to work on other things within myself to ultimately produce a "better me." In my opinion, PMO is the end result. Try to focus on figuring out what led you up to PMO. I've been reading a lot of other people's stories and it seems stress, anxiety, lack of self-confidence etc. are large factors that led to their cause and fixation of the habit. Therefore, try some different techniques that work for you and best of luck with your self-discovery!

#NoFap

 

Well, one is this site.

Another is watching non-porn movies.

For awhile, I was playing a lot of Candy Crush. Sounds silly, but hours of Candy Crush was way better than hours of porn. I think of it as akin to those smokers who pop jelly beans for awhile. Better jelly beans than cancer.

At this point, I don't need Candy Crush; I'm just doing other things.

 

I pray.