Im a former atheist who has started attending an orthodox congregation. Ive never viewed PMO as wrong until recently when it started affecting my relationship with my wife. Im deeply ashamed and angry and myself for letting my habit get to the point it has (often twice a day, somedays more) and the compulsions it gave me to stray from my wife. Luckily she is supportive albeit disappointed in me. I fully intend to cease my habit but do those of you who are married still have sex with your wife while fighting your habit or should i reset by denying orgasm altogether for a set period of time? What has worked best for you? Prayer and introspection have helped immensely wheras i was previously unfulfilled spiritually.
I never did a full hard mode. Of course, I hid the fact I was in recovery from my wife, too, for the first couple years, so I may not be the best example to go by. At any rate, I know that you do not need to fully abstain from O in order to heal, although I suppose it might speed up your progress. I am praying for you and cheering you on! If I can ever be of service to you as you progress toward full healing from this devastating sin, let me know!
Thanks man i appreciate it. My end goal is a healthier sex life with my wife so im kind of thinking zero O's might be counterproductive. She's on board though so if i find myself needing a period of zero O's she'd support me. Its been pretty tough so far, but reading a lot of the ordeals alot of the other members have gone through have been inspirational.
Sharing my story (may or may not apply but hope it helps). My wife caught me looking at porn years ago and it almost tore us apart (but other stuff was going on in our relationship as well). Years went by and I kept it a secret from her until recently, I decided that it was for my (and our) benefit to seriously look at what my triggers are, recognize where time wasters are, pretend she is watching and checking out what I search for & view on the internet and I can say that it does help. Praying for you man! For me, the day counter does help the drive to not relapse (though I have had to reset a few times recently).
That is a tough one. For years when I did not get sex every time I wanted with my wife I would turn to porn. It depends on how well you can control yourself. If you can live with the amount available to you from your wife, you will be fine. If you wind up turning to porn then you may want to stop everything and reset. Letting your wife know what you are doing of course. I have to ask, in your spiritual journey, has anyone explained the gospel to you? Have you become a Christian or are you still exploring?
I grew up in the bible bible belt, I was familiar with scripture even when I was an atheist but unfortunately I was personally repelled by a lot of common protestant practices and tendencies. It's hard to tell you "how" I came to be a believer, mostly it just felt right. The Orthodox church gave me a chance to come to Christ without any preconceived notions. The history and beauty of the church is just a bonus lol
Hi, I hope this does not count as necroing. I noticed your profile picture and checked if you were in fact orthodox. So how has your journey to the Faith and your attempts at quitting self-abuse and porn been? I am a convert myself, baptised in the Russian Church a year and a half ago. If you're still active and willing to talk, being both of us of the Faith (even catechumens are), it would be great. God be with you.
