P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

I believe it is our reaction to seeing those pictures etc. In the past provocative pictures and seeing females dressed sexy would start my fantasies going wild, now I can see them without going into sexual frenzy.
It is hard at first but it is worth the effort to get yourself back under your own control and not be a slave to your over stimulated lust.

 

Just to re-iterate about seeing images and videos, I got sent a bdsm videos in a whatsapp group that I opened yesterday and watched for like 1 minute until it got into the hardcore sex, and although it made my brain throb a little, there was no desire to watch it, and I closed it and havent thought twice about it again, and feel relatively fine today.

Don't get me wrong Im not advocating watching Porn for sure that would lead back to relapse and symptoms, but at 13 months completed, seeing actual porn for first time if there is no intention there internally to watch it or fulfill a desire is pretty harmless.

Everything is intentional based - if you see something by accident intermittently but don't care for it, its no problem. If you intend to go on instagram to check out hot girls in bikinis that would be more dangerous

 

This guy gets it. But you're a humble one, aren't you? ;-)
Can confirm. After 1 year of hardcore monkmode porn became a non-issue again. No dwelling, no constant fantasizing, no "just one look", etc. Just going about my life and becoming sensitive to when my brain gets "assaulted" by dopamine from some stimulus and when I am actually in a more healthy state.

Would I watch porn again for a while I'd surely get back into the downward spiral. But the desire for it simply is gone for real. Haven't watched it in 5 years at this point. And also the every day triggers in advertisements, movies etc. have lost their grip. So don't worry guys, you don't need to fight forever and ever and ever and ever. At some point it simply becomes a non-issue again. After all, we want to break FREE, not be entangled in a neverending fight, right? ;-)

 

This is good - it's what I need to hear. I'm definately having more days when I'm untroubled by urges or triggers, but I'm also going through the flatline from hell (either that or I actually have a serious illness...), so I haven't really got the urge to do anything at the moment.

 

Hello guys. Thanks for your responses. I'm currently on day 44 hard mode and the last few days have been terrible. I've been waking up early with no energy, feeling like I've been drugged in my sleep. Urges are mostly gone but the extreme fatigue and brain fog are severely debilitating, but specially in the mornings. During the evening I usually start feeling a little bit better but then I go to sleep and wake up feeling like absolute shit again. Anybody else is experiencing the same?

 

Wishing you the best man! Just keep going, keep exploring and whenever you fall (which we all do because we only are fallible human beings after all) learn to get back up quickly instead of wallowing in self-pity ;-)
If you have any questions you can always contact me and I'll try to respond asap

 

Yep!

 

Has anybody here tried psychedelics? I heard they can reduce or even eliminate withdrawals from most drugs. I'm thinking about trying psilocybin mushrooms to start with. I really want to try Iboga but I heard there are many risks involved with the treatment, so experimenting with psilocybin first seems like a better idea. At this point it seems like the only possible solution to at least alleviate PAWS. The thought of having to suffer for 2 or 3 years of hell isn't very encouraging at all, so I might as well give psychedelics a shot. By the way, I definitely advice people to stay away from psychiatrists and never take meds. All they do is numb the pain in a similar way to PMO, and the withdrawals from those fuckers can be even worse. Trust me, I'm talking from experience.

 

Is it weird that I feel like I’ve gone through these symptoms which made me result to masturbating! With out starting or completely doing a reboot

 

Would you mind telling us about your experiences with psychiatrists? I've only ever had one appointment with one, which wasn't that bad, but I've had some truely horrific therapy with clinical psychologists (2).

 

I've been advised multiple times to see a psychologist or psychiatrists by parents but I never go. I was referred to one when I went to see a doctor. A nurse suggested it to me but I refused due to bunch of gibberish she seemed to talk about....

The worst was nobody there couldn't understand any of my PAWS symptoms. Doctor said some of my symptoms were due to lack of drinking water which was untrue.

 

Do you mind me asking what problems you went to the doc's for? Did you actually talk about PMO / PAWS, or other things?

 

I suffered a mental breakdown due to pmo withdrawals over 6 months ago and was locked up in psych ward for a week. The psychiatrist there thought I was having PTSD like symptoms but couldn't even come up with an official diagnosis. I was put on abilify injections and klonopin. I was on those meds for about 4 months but had to stop because I was feeling so weak and numb that I couldn't even bother to wash myself or leave the house. I also developed parkinson like symptoms in my tongue and hands. I now been off those shitty meds for about 4 months and although I already feel emotions again, I now struggle with hand tremors, slurred speech and balance problems, on top of the already fucked up pmo withdrawal symptoms. I think a mixture of psychotropics, benzos, energy drinks and pornography must have fucked up my brain chemistry real bad. As a result, I can't even tolerate caffeine anymore because I get extremely restless and shaky, and every time I relapse the symptoms get worse. So I have decided to quit pmo for good. All I can do is push through this storm living as healthy as possible, hoping that things will get better. I don't know if I will ever heal completely but anything is better than going back to that pit of hopelesness that is porn.

 

Don't do it. Psychiatrists are full of shit and they don't even understand how the brain really works. They just love to push pills down everybody's throat. Understand that the pharmaceutical industry is a billion dollar business just like pornography. It's all about making money. Your health is not important to them at all. If anything, they want to keep people sick so they can keep prescribing you meds for the rest of your life. These meds always cause fucked up side effects, and how do they treat those side effects? With more fucking meds that cause other fucked up side effects lol. It's a never ending cycle.

 

I couldn't function the way I used due to severe depression. I wanted to make sure if I had other issues because withdrawals were insane 24/7 for a long time. The suffering was too long and too much. So I finally decided to see a doctor. I explained everything, he said pmo couldn't cause my PAWS. He even laughed at me. However, I had gained weight and blood sugar was higher than normal.

 

I feel your pain man. Pmo is a dangerous practice.

 

I'm at 13.5 months as of today and still suffering from PAWS (although there is a sort of okayness around it all now), and I look back at my PMO journey, an I cannot believe how I got myself into such a mess, I'd masturbate at weekends and do cocaine until my cock had blisters - like what the fuck.

I started this journey around 18 months ago, and looking back now I can't believe just how I ended up in such a situation without even knowing the damage I was doing.

I feel like the next 6-9 months rewiring will be complete, the crazy cravings will be gone, everything will be a distant memory.

I think that for alot of addicts who were severe its a 2 year journey to heal, and then for the next following years you want to be mindful and careful of not slipping into old habits. My intuition tells me that PAWS ends within 2 years but the full recovery cycle is more like 3-5 years for complete recovery.

 

Man, I think you're the only person I've come across who seems to be suffering more than I am.

Are you sure that all of those symptoms are due to meds? I have / have had the shakes, numbness, and all the other problems you mentioned, although probably not as severely, and they are definately down to PMO (or PMO withdrawals - hard to figure out the difference sometimes).

I've taken Klonopin a long time ago, and found it pleasant, and not difficult to come off - although my GP did put me in diazepam to help with that.

I have also self-diagnosed some level of PTSD. I am currently reading "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel vsn der Kolk. It would take a long time to explain my thoughts on that, but basically we're talking about trauma, and how we cope with it. In a way PMO is a separate thing for me, but it was a way of coping with trauma that ultimately made it worse.

Good luck, and I hope things improve.

 

Yeah, doctors are arseholes for the most part. Laugh at someone who presents with a mental health issue, and is trying to figure out the cause. That's really unprofessional, but I've had similar experiences with other (related) health problems.

I've not told a doctor about my PMO issues on the record, but once told a doc who is a friend of a friend, and he just laughed. But at least we were in the pub on a saturday, and not in a surgery.

 

When was the worst part? IE - how many weeks / months in? I'm really struggling. May loose my job, although there may be a way to cope with that. But I'm pretty much house-bound, and if I didn't know I had PMO problems (and I do know this is what is going on, after years of trial and error, observation, and missed opportunities...) then I'd be cracking up right now. This thread is really important to me. As it is, I'm hoping that it is just a matter of getting better at abstaining, and waiting for the healing to happen.