@AnonymousAnnaXOXO - I am so sorry to hear you have sustained so much harmful sexual violence. It's wonderful you have turned your life experience into a means to help others. You are strong and resilient! I did EMDR. It helped a great deal with many aspects of the multiple traumas and triggers I have experienced. For me, EMDR made the betrayal trauma worse, though. IMHO, it was about countertransference and the therapist, though, b/c she wasn't experienced in betrayal trauma. She had previously disclosed to me about her own "stuff" with her previous addict husband, and she left her husband. Countertransference can be a big issue with infidelity b/c so many therapists have experienced it in their families, social circles, and of course, in their personal lives. Do I think she meant malice? No. It's just an issue of lack of experience causing harm. She was (is) very, very skilled in dealing with "traumatic scenes" though, and she works with many police officers, first responders, and such. I am not triggered (much) by my husband's graphic suicide attempt, his car (the scene), blood in general, his psychotic (blank zombie-like) expression, etc., anymore. If I get triggered, for example by seeing a suicide attempt on TV, it's mild and I can calm it down. In general, I am pretty good about avoiding that stuff in movies and shows. Good self-care. There is no one in our area who is experienced with both betrayal trauma and EMDR. I may do an intensive with the psychologist who handled our FTD and marital intensive. She does EMDR, too. This would involve several thousand (more) dollars and traveling quite far. I do think she & I could accomplish quite a bit if I worked with her over 4-5 days. I trust her. So did my husband. It was a breath of fresh air to work with someone who "got it". I had asked a CSAT about this type of therapy for betrayal trauma and it wasn't recommended. EMDR is considered the best therapy for this, but the therapist needs experience with betrayal trauma. Somatic Experiencing was also recommended as a "second line of defense" to manage the somatic manifestations of trauma. That has helped me too. ^^^YES! And it needs to be completed in layers. I'm currently using a process to identify the betrayal trauma triggers (which can be even more triggering), and rating the triggers form 1-10 in intensity. In the end, it will help me continue to heal. I know some other wives who have been doing solid, deliberate work with their triggers over 3-4 years and they are doing 80-90% better. They are also focusing on living their lives, knowing they cannot control anyone but themselves, staying true to themselves with clear boundaries, and intentionally bringing back joy into their lives in multiple ways. They are healing and thriving! Considering I knew only about 25% of my husband's betrayals until about 5 weeks ago, I am doing pretty well. FTD was a setback with trauma, BUT I was on a path to healing before and I know I will bounce back more quickly this time. We needed that disclosure so we could turn the page from secrets to truth. It's helpful to both an addict and the spouse. Part of me wants to eventually "come out" and advocate for more services in our area. This is a common problem and addicts/spouses need skilled support and guidance. I realize the healing process is typically 3-5 years (without major setbacks). Considering I've been married for a long time, it's worth it to me.