Please help. Loneliness makes me relapse all the time

When you're vulnerable is where PMO likes to strike hardest. Believe I've been where you are and it takes an immense amount of willpower and self control to retrain yourself from taking the easy way and fapping your problems away. But we have to be men and face our problems head on, start again all the wiser and tell yourself if you can beat PMO when you're at your lowest, then you've already won. Best of luck

 

Well, as I usually like to being, maybe a therapist would help here, a lot. Especially for the loneliness.

And also, I do not know where you live, but as the age starts to add up, usually the sex appeal goes down and the willingness of women to just have a sex life goes down. I mean, you COULD think of a serious relationship.

Social involvment, if you can bear it, like volunteer groups could with the loneliness. Watching comedies. Anything to get the serotonin up. When the need strikes, I find it useful to already have a back up plan in store - like some CBD oil like yousaid, a bath, go running, go watch a movie, pet a dog, say a mantra like ALL IS WELL, ALL IS GOING TO BE WELL, talking to a friend, and all that and beyond. Maybe even eating a chocolate.

Plus, I really don't you and your priorities, but WE ALL need to be in control of our sexuality. We really, really DON"T need to have sex in order to survive, despite anything pop-psychology could say. So any methods of religious celibate asceticism and urge control could help ( Christian, Buddhist, Taoist, Jain, etc) So you should be prepared to just LET GO of your desire for a sex life. It is not going to be easy not a instant, nor will it just dissapear, but slowly in time and better with a guide things do get better, There thousands upon thousands of men and women who have forgone sexual intercourse and romantic commitment for something better. I AM not saying you should do it, but their attitude and tehniques could help you.

By the way, the loneliness and rejection are kind of the biggest trigger for me as well.

 

So you were doing ok on your medication, you stop taking it and now you're relapsing, smashing your place up and crying yourself to sleep.
I will never understand why people get this idea that it's somehow bad to take anti depressants regularly, so they stop taking them, their lives turn to shit but it's all good because hey I'm not dependent on ADs.
Dude if things were better on your meds, get back on them asap.

 

I am sorry with you. Not for you, with you. This all I can say right now.

 

No. From my experience, nofap means you are simply eliminating a factor which makes you feel worse. That's it.
Are you sure about going to this carnival thing? You seem very emotional at the moment. I can understand that you think it will be a challenge but from what you've said I think it's more likely you'll get a bit drunk, get upset and relapse like happened before...

 

I think you put too much faith in that ceremony. Have a little skepticism, because you could set yourself to dissapintment.

 

Hey racc00n I feel you buddy, I'm going through an emotional time myself right now, and it's all becuase of a relationship that failed, i.e I got string alonged then dropped. I relapsed, but this only brought to light the much more deeper issues I'm suffering from. I'm about to start seeing a therapist, I know you mentioned MDMA and LSD, but have you ever considered Ayahuasca? I drank it 5 years ago and it was completely life changing - not in that it literally changed my life - but it changed my entire outlook and perception of things. When I returned home I was like a new man and I got with a girl pretty much straight away, even though that relationship failed, it definitely made me confront some of my problems, fear, self doubt, low confidence etc. If you believe you are, as you say, under the influence of black magic, then that's a serious problem and Ayahuasca is medicince specifically suited to purging negative energies. You may want to look into it

Edit: Apologies I only just saw the post where you mentioned Ayahuasca
I'm really happy you're doing this dude, it will help you greatly but be warned - it's NOT a cure for your depression so PLEASE do not go in thinking all your problems will be solved like magic from having drunk it. Ayahuasca works by making you confront your problem and showing you how YOU have to deal with them. After drinking you're left with a profound inner understanding of yourself, but you have to continue doing the work long afterwards.

 

Blue Balls you have the same avatar lol. I thought those are my posts, but i couldn't remember writing them XD^^

 

Can I give you some advice? Definitely be on one of your NoFap kill streaks (2 weeks minimum) when the time comes. Ayahuasca is a jealous spirit and she wants your energy for herself. I know that sounds kind of crazy but it will make the journey so much more powerful and you WILL be rewarded for it, she knows when you've been putting in the effort.
Another thing, don't rush it.

 

What specific questions/issues do you hope Ayahuasca will resolve?
I think it's a very dangerous path, especially as you speak of having experienced psychosis before. I was considering it myself until I found a forum full of people posting stories of severe psychotic reactions, people who are probably fucked up beyond repair, far more fucked up than you are now...and I made up my mind, no thank you. Other options to heal yourself are available to you which do not risk permanent, incurable mental illness.
A safer possiblity, one that I will probably experiment with, is microdosing. Buy a psilocybin mushroom kit, grow it and administer tiny doses, once every three days I think. Check it out. It's becoming quite a thing, the first serious research is being carried out at the moment, don't know when the results are due but I'm very interested in this...

 

I really don't know about you religious affiliation, but really have you tried a Christian Orthodox priest or something. I say this because you are from Greece, and well, there is such a long tradition of banishing black magic in that tradition. You could go to Mount Athos, I can even reccomend some people you can try and talk to there, Greek hieromonks. You might not like it, but maybe you can try it. I bring it up because of the whole black magic thing. I mean if you give black magic some credence, you could give these guys also some credence. Simonospetra monastery and Vatopedy Monastery are one of the most known but that place is full of holy icons and relics. I myself have my doubts about that religions, big ones, but just saying worth a try. They usually charge no fee for staying and eating for a few days. And also, Grigoruiou monastery, there some monks went in missiona and Africa and met real life witch doctors from some really ancient traditions. Also the monastery has opened or supporting opneing a drug rehabilitation facility. So they are experienced in drug and black magic stuff, plus are open to young people. One of the few places I encountered a truly compassionate soul and felt free acceptance and no judgement, not even a trace. Father Lukas. And please do not use terms like "chakra" lightly. You have a pain in the region of your heart, and that is that. using terms from spiritual tardition you might not understand fully is dangerous. Heart region is enough. Plus tehre are western studies now made which show that the heart has its own nervous system nodes, like a very tiny brain, so no need to search beyond your continent.

And it is not the ONLY choice. I can name you just a few types of psychotherapy tehniques you can try, like EMDR, constellation of intention, somatic experiencing, Craniosacral therapy, bach flower remedies, etc. Have you tried all of these? And aversion from sex and the opposite gender is ALSO a classic sign of unresolved childhood trauma, maybe even pre-birth trauma, or something in your family. I know, because I have experiencing things like this.

Plus, a healthy dose of skepticism is always necessary, and every serious spiritual or scientific tradition emphasizes this point.