Please help. Loneliness makes me relapse all the time

Wrong. I am living proof of this. I had a trip on lsd when I was 19 which changed the course of my life, massively for the worse. I became psychotic, and experienced horrific disturbances on every level, mental, physical, spiritual. I felt a aperture had opened in my brain and evil and everything negative in the universe was just pouring into my being. I was in effect a vegetable for 5 years, I literally did nothing except stare out of the window, smoke, and drink tea. When I was 25 I discovered that if I drank vast amounts of alcohol I felt halfway human, so began 15 years of alcoholism.
I am tortured by thoughts about how my life would have been different had I not taken that acid. It got unbearable last year, and I've started psychotherapy to finally put this behind me.
So TL;DR don't claim hallucinogenics cannot/do not triggered psychosis, because they can, and they do.

 

I believe I have averted sex, relationships, and finding love because of child hood trauma. What do you think would be a good avenue to pursue to help deal with this.. or to help get over this. Is this a symptom of heart chakra imbalance ...

 

you've got to fill your schedule up totally. Don't leave an inch unfilled with any positive activities that would keep you distracted, seriously the first few days are so hard and then things ease up. But again the key is through these activity some of them must turn into habits. So that later every time you're tempted to watch and masturbate you instead go and practice this/those activity/s. They could be as simple as drawing, walking, going out with friends/family/siblings or even along, sports, grading,cooking, reading, attending events, or even your job. Just make what you do as engaging and intersting as possible.
I would highly suggest downloading and following up with this app Reborn. Because it will keep you alert and aware of your problem. Hence, avoiding it.
this is the link to the app https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=reborn.ma.com
Nevertheless, if you relapse, it's not the end of the world just get back to the right path as quick as possible. You'r brain is still aware of your new path!

 

And normal psychotherapy? Is it available free on the healthcare system there in Greece? I pay about €80 per 50 minutes. I do it over Skype with an English therapist, Im a brit but i live abroad (in Europe, ha ha!). I cant afford it every weeks, so its every 2 weeks. It is really helping me. You seem determined for a "quick fix". It takes a long time to develop and refine your negative mindset and reinforce the restrictive/limiting narratives you tell yourself. And it takes time to untangle the mess inside your head. By all means explore all possibilities but recognise that if you are serious about changing, which you clearly are, it takes time, and probably work, but it can be done.

 

Loneliness is why I masturbate all the time too. I understand. I just hope I find an AP soon.

 

I feel you neighbour. I kept relapsing because there is nothing else for me to do. at least, I want to watch porn, look at girls' pictures etc.. you have friends and going out from my understanding. I am not going out at all. I understand that sometimes you may feel lonely when you are in a crowd. did you feel like you were outside of the group? or is it only being lonely about girls? sounds to me you maybe too hard on yourself. you are saying that your crush are interested in you. maybe you are underestimating your achievements? I don't know you but I do it a lot. I am always so negative on myself.

 

The first thing that you have to get out of your head, if it is in there, is that you deserve attention from a female. You don't deserve anything you don't earn, and to earn it you have to fix yourself. You cannot concentrate on trying to meet someone before you're fixed, because it is supremely unfair to someone you do happen to meet. Don't focus on meeting a girl, focus on getting better first. The relationship thing WILL happen with time; you'd be surprised how you suddenly just sort of fall into one of those. But you won't do that until you are better, trust me. Be responsible to yourself first. Be patient. Focus on getting better ONE step at a time.

The first step with rebooting is the biggest, because it takes so much time! If you truly want your sex life back then you HAVE to be patient and reboot for at least a few months. You HAVE to turn a three day streak into a 90 or 180 day streak before you should even worry about dating. Trust me I was in the exact same boat, and now I'm your age and engaged. It took me a year of persistence, but it paid off! I set a goal for myself. I told myself that I wouldn't reach out or bother finding a girlfriend until I hit day 180 days PORN AND MASTERBATION FREE. I made it my reward, the next step in healing myself. I had to patch things up personally before I put myself out there; if you don't its how you get more hurt and its how you relapse easier when you do get rejected. You're here with a problem. Fix your problem, then the rest will fall into place.

 

You truly have the best advice right there. I feel the same way that if you want true change you have to reboot for a good six to nine months. I am already at the end of five and my head is so much clearer and I feel better. You will slowly get the things you want. People that have this porn addiction have a lot to work on with themselves and get better from within.

I realize now that the constant reward of pornography and reward was horrible and didn’t allow myself the ability to work for that reward through a relationship. It’s a painful realization but one all of us have to make better..