Practically nobody seems to know the benefits for women? How will it improve ME?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Tesslynne, Nov 26, 2016.

  1. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Sorry, I've posted this already in other places but I'm just getting really annoyed that nobody here seems to know this and it's quite demotivating. But, no, I'm not giving up.

    I have read SO SO much about how MEN benefit from NoFap including feeling more confident around women and attracting more women. But i have hardly seen a thing about how WOMEN benefit from NoFap. Now I WILL make it a mission to keep reading the journals and so on and i'm gonna make a list for myself of absolutely any answers I get about this question but I guess i'm just posting it one more place in that hope that somebody knows.

    I guess everybody is different and I'm also keeping my own journal and i will of course keep recording my journey but it would just be really nice if I knew even if just anecdotally that there were are some real benefits for me as a woman - someone who DOESN'T have a penis - to continuing my NoFap journey.

    Which I AM gonna continue regardless but i'd just really love to know what if any benefits women have noticed esp. those who've done this for a while. And I'm gonna keep looking through success stories here and the women's journals section.

    I really DO hope I get benefits in my OWN confidence. In my OWN interactions with men and how they interact with and think of me. In my own levels of energy. In my own thoughts, i guess. In my own self esteem. I know it's not a panacea, but after reading of benefit after benefit for men, I really want to know and that's why I keep asking but I promise not to ask again, just keep researching and do my own journey, which if any of these benefits can I expect with my female body and mind from NoFap.

    One thing i've noticed already I'm only about day 6 is more time to spend on better things, and that's already a HUGE benefit I KNOW that and even if that's ALL I get out of this, that's still great. But...IS it??
  2. Frühlingstimme

    Frühlingstimme Fapstronaut

    Hey Tesslynne,

    The girls I know in this website are here mostly to support their husbands, I can't tell for sure but you're a human being and I am a human being too, not just a penis, so I guess you'll get more confident and at least gain some time and energy by being on NoFap.

    I might try to help you finding good resource for women, but if we don't find anything it's time we consider you are the first women doing this for her own sake.

    You are our Joanna D'Arc so keep struggling and share the results with us :)
    Tesslynne likes this.
  3. Baden

    Baden Fapstronaut

    @Tesslynne Ladies are wired differently than us men. I do believe it takes some 0.01 sec to turn us on where the ladies I have met needed warm-up time, foreplay etc. Since most porn is build for men, it's only natural that most stuff is for men as well. The porn/sex industry is making billions on us horny men and not so much on horny ladies.

    Having said that, I think the biggest difference is ladies might be more embarrassed than we are. Just look around here and see how our spouses reacts to the news when they are told or find out. I'll claim it would be much easier to understand if we were drug addicts.

    I hope you'll find some feedback from other ladies.
    Aiyoshi and Tesslynne like this.
  4. douggie1962

    douggie1962 Fapstronaut

    Definition of Parasite:
    (Biology) an animal or plant that lives in or on another (the host) from which it obtains nourishment. The host does not benefit from the association and is often harmed by it.

    Porn is literally sucking the life out of you.

    The time that you spend on porn makes you into a drooling primate staring at images designed to rob you of your dreams and potential. Instead of having a life where you contribute to the beautiful tapestry of human history, you instead risk being insignificant, and discarding your human birthright and potential of greatness. You are made in the image of God, and as God created all that is, you too are here to create you own legacy upon this planet.
    Get it?

    Be Strong My friend.
    Tesslynne likes this.
  5. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Thank you Frühlingstimme, Baden and douggie1962 for your fantastic and helpful replies.
    There are SOME women on here and I am in touch with some but not a lot. Anyway, thank you so much for helping to make me feel so welcome here, I really appreciate it. And your wonderful replies. Yes, douggie1962, that's how i feel about what the certain types of chat and certain types of erotica were doing. Wasting hours. Not all the time but I got to the point recently - before I re-started this - where I just got so fed up with the time-waste. I really intend to put some of that time back into self-improvement so I love that this section is here!
  6. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    I was reminded of something recently that I DID once hear then totally forgot about. If a women masturbates TOO much the clitoris can become de-sensitised. Now, honestly, I don't know about you? But I can't imagine ANY woman here wanting THAT. I SURE DON'T. So that's another reason and another kik friend when I told her this "Oh yeah, it becomes harder and harder to orgasm."
    And I am thinking...
    A really good reason to continue NoFap.

    I'm still curious about the other reasons and benefits too though.
  7. mcrcvrng

    mcrcvrng Fapstronaut

    Now I just want to hear Linda Carter say that out loud.
    Aiyoshi and Tesslynne like this.
  8. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

  9. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

    I am a man, but I believe a lot of the benefits of nofap are universal. These "super powers" are real but they are often over emphasized. It is important to look at nofap as a lifestyle change that will improve your patience and discipline, and give you a better more positive outlook on life. I have also begun to view women in a more loving caring and equal way but this is probably more unique to men. However I think seeking a deep loving relationship with someone, beyond sexual release, is important for both men and women.
    Tesslynne likes this.
  10. Attaboy

    Attaboy Guest

    I feel a lot of benefits are over exaggerated and I think a lot of this is done because people are still overlooking the ultimate benefit which is self-mastery. A life where you control your urges instead of them controlling you. This benefit I think is overlooked because it's subtle and not filled with pizzazz or bragging rights. It's like common sense; you should be using it 24/7 and so there is nothing to brag about once you finally do use it. The same goes for self-control. You should be using it 24/7. The irony is some of the people who conquer their PMO addiction only do so, so they can go be reckless and have casual sex. I wonder if they know that there are sex addicts and love addicts as well, and that they're just switching one addiction for another?
    Tesslynne likes this.
  11. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

    The reason you're not getting much advice on the benefits for women is because nobody here really knows. This is a personal journey, and we can only record our own internal states of consciousness and then report back. It would be ludicrous to assume to know the effects on women when the majority of forum participants are men and all we have is our own subjective experiences.

    So the bottom line is, you're a pioneer. You have to blaze the trail and be the one who discovers the benefits for women, if there are any.
  12. Porn Free Wanderer

    Porn Free Wanderer Fapstronaut

    This is pretty much what I was going to write. However, I'll add that even among men, it seems that different people report different benefits. It's difficult to know exactly who's right and wrong here. Perhaps nobody's right or wrong, and the only way you'll find out is by going ahead and doing it. I believe it was Arnold Schwarzenegger who once said "I love it when someone tells me it's never been done before. Because that means when I do it I'll be the FIRST!".

    I want to add something else (I was going to make a stand alone thread about this -- I still might). In Economics they talk about a concept called Opportunity Cost. In short, the Opportunity Cost of something is the cost of giving up whatever else you might have done instead. For example, you might spend 10 hours a week watching "free" porn on tube sites, and you might justify it by saying it didn't cost you any money. However, an economist would ask "what else might you have done with those 10 hours?" You might have learned to play a musical instrument. You might have learned another language, or trained for a marathon, or met your soulmate. Really, when you stop paying the Opportunity Cost, the possibilities are limited only by your desires.

    The saddest thing about the nofap community is the fact that there is so much focus on sexuality. We all think about giving up porn to cure our ED, or have more sex, or have better sex, or whatever. Now don't get me wrong, I think nofap is a wonderful community, and clearly it's helped a LOT of people. However, if we could just stop thinking about sex for a while, and start thinking about the other 98% of life, I think you'll see benefits that you didn't even imagine.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. douggie1962

    douggie1962 Fapstronaut

    Sadly, what unites us here is the only thing we can agree upon - PORN IS BAD. The other 98% of our diverse and varied universe we will maintain our right to agree to disagree upon.
    Great explanation @Porn Free Wanderer about Opportunity Cost - just about the only thing I remembered from college economics.

    Thanks for Sharing.

    Be Strong My Friends.
  14. ssa_ji

    ssa_ji Fapstronaut


    Discovered new interests

    Jewelry Making

    Plus lot of prayer throughout the day helps.

    Lot of prayer.

    You walk more taller and look prettier.
    Tesslynne likes this.
  15. outedskeleton

    outedskeleton Fapstronaut

    It is hard to comment on what the personal benefits would be for you on this personal journey because I'm not entirely sure the reasons you're here. The benefits that you described above for men seem extremely superficial and, while I'm a little new here, there seems to be this line of thinking among, at least, a subset of the active users here. Personally, I don't need to attract women or be more confident or even have an issue with sexual functions. What this is about, for me, is breaking an addiction and if I had gained this knowledge when I was much younger, much of the self-destructive behavior I've exhibited later in my life would, in all likelihood, have not existed.

    More in line with your question. Women are coming forward in greater numbers and admitting to sexual addiction. I'm not sure if that's why you're here; if you're struggling with porn, or casual sex, or chat rooms, or whatever the case may be, something led you here. I tend to believe most people that are here have issues that go well beyond normal masturbatory tendencies that most people have. So, stopping addictive and destructive behaviors now can very well save you a lifetime of heartache and pain. To me, that's the only benefit that matters.
  16. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest I LOVE this. I love how you have used the time in all those other lovely, productive, creative things!
    And spiritually. Ooh and I LOVE the walling taller and looking prettier!

    Thank you for sharing!
    ssa_ji likes this.
  17. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    OK, thank you. I can elaborate a bit.
    No, as someone desperately seeking to find love again, it doesn't seem superficial TO ME. I haven't had an actual boyfriend for nearly 4 years and mostly when guys like me (like online dating guys) they only want sex. So YES I want to turn this around.
    HOWEVER...male attraction aside...
    I struggle with chat rooms and erotica. Certain types of chats and certain types of erotica. And that whole feeling like you need more and more shocking things to get off (I don't want to go into detail, but I'm sure you have heard about this effect.)
    I think I may very well be addicted, yes, to masturbating and yes I really want to break that addiction. Been addicted to that, possibly since even before the chat and erotica.
    I used it for escapism, in attempts sometimes to shut the world out when I've felt like my problems were too much to deal with.
    But not just for that.
    The other reason, as i have said, and what was the breaking point for me was when I'd spent yet another day spending literally hours on getting off that way and yet I had this list of things on Reddit, based on my OWN goals, things I WANTED to do beneficial for me. And instead I wasted yet another day on THAT. So productivity and self-improvement and spending SOME of that time I used to waste on shliking (?) I want to put back towards those things and I have been doing that.
  18. Collectors-Series

    Collectors-Series Fapstronaut

    First, I love that you are committed to putting together the list of benefits for the female perspective. It's certainly not a male-only problem, but, clearly, men struggle with this more often than women.

    That said, other than the benefits to men of possibly curing them of ED, I'm not sure how the benefits are unique to men. Even your first example, "including feeling more confident around women and attracting more women," doesn't really apply only to men, other than the choice of pronoun. I know that both women and men often have self-image issues, and as a result, feel less confident around the people they want to attract. P only compounds the self-image problem, regardless of your gender.

    So much of PMO recovery is not really only about the specific problem of PMO addiction. It's about having learned behaviors that are dysfunctional. Very likely, many of the people here are dealing with other areas in their lives where they want to change a behavior. Maybe quitting smoking. Maybe exercising instead of video games. Maybe (like me) dealing with an adrenaline addiction that shows up through obsessive-compulsive behavior.

    But PMO recovery is important because it can cause and compound so many other issues. So, we're here, but I don't see this as a male-only problem, nor should it be.

    Even so, one of the important aspects of NF is that this is a safe community, where we self-identify as a member of the community. Partly that means we're all dealing with PMO recovery, but partly, we still identify as male, female, or, for some, neither. I think you really should make your list, and share it with the women who are looking for other women here with which they can identify.

    I think it's also important that we all recognize that this addiction is not a male-only issue, and while we may have some places where we do address things that are unique to males, we should generally all try to remember that we are all just humans, and not just a member of a gender.
    Tesslynne likes this.
  19. outedskeleton

    outedskeleton Fapstronaut

    I think you're beginning to see your own personal benefits of putting an end to the behaviors you see as destructive. When I suggested some of the reasons were superficial, I meant that quitting PMO will not, in it of itself, make you more attractive to your perspective mates. I believe those that think that way are missing some bigger picture issues. When you stop compulsively masturbating and stop using porn, erotica, and chat, you won't automatically become attractive to others. Hopefully, what will happen is you'll have more self-confidence and you'll have a greater understanding of what you're seeking in a partner which will bring you closer to finding that person.

    What you're doing is wonderfully brave and important for your overall well being. It will be extremely difficult, but you can do it. I do believe that the most important benefits of overcoming these addictions are the same for men and women.
  20. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Thank you!
    Well, a lot of guys make out like they do NoFap and instantly become a chick-magnet so you know? Can't blame a girl for wondering!
    But yes guys aside I DO seek OTHER benefits not related to that AT ALL.
    Like more time to work on me and be an even better me. More self-confidence would be a MASSIVE bonus too!!!

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