Priorities

Femdom is his priority, not me, never me. Once I woke up and got on the computer to find where he left off, on some skanky whore's feet. When I confronted him with it he tore my laptop in half instead of profusely apologizing. Maybe it's my fault too. I put up with this sexless relationship for ten years. I kicked him out countless times, usually along with verbal and physical abuse. Doesn't he like violent, unhinged women? Isn't this what he wants? That's not me, but I'm being twisted. I was kind and patient then came the last straw (it never was the last, maybe we're codependent). I don't think I would have minded the porn use if my needs were met, but he only cared about his hand and the screen. He thinks he's an alpha male. Alphas don't get kicked out for jacking off. When you're watching porn you are being cucked. You're not the dude getting the action, you're the simp in the corner jacking off to some other dude screwing the skank you were attracted to. Then there's the subliminal, and others that don't even bother to be subliminal messages telling you to be celibate. Celibate my ass. I'm the one that's the incel. I don't want a lover on the side. That would make him redundant. That would be disrespectful to myself, him and the other man. I have my own mental illness, but I don't think I'm anywhere near as twisted as this. I want to be loved; body mind and soul. I'm a low maintenance woman. He only loves himself.