This is a question for us porn addict’s partners, or to the porn addicts who have talked about this with their partners and know what they said. My wife said something at the weekend that's been rattling round my head. She was talking about how difficult it was for me to battle my porn addiction (she refers to it as "a beast") and then she said Of course I tried to tell her how wrong that was, how she would always be the centre of my life. But I have been wondering if this is the right approach. For some Significant Others (SOs) here it is vitally important that their porn addict partner is giving up for themselves, e.g. For other SOs the effort that the porn addict puts into recovery for the SO's sake helps to heal the hurt (sorry, I cannot find a good quote for that). I listed my reasons for giving up porn here and most of them are focussed on me not my wife, but the one that really matters is her ultimatum based on the collapse in her self-esteem. How important is it that we are giving up pornography for us not for you? To be honest, although I have many personal reasons for giving up, I do not believe I would be able to succeed unless I was doing it for her. Is that OK?